christian men/women : what do you look for in a potential spouse?

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taggerung

taggerung

Senior Member
#1
Apr 26, 2009
219
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#1
hello everyone, i recently started wondering: what do christian men look for in a girlfriend or potential spouse? i have no idea what the gentlemen are looking for, and i am getting the feeling i am doing something wrong lol. and ladies, what are you looking for in a boyfriend/potential spouse? i am very curious to know what all the other women are thinking.

myself:

1 i am looking for a christian guy

2 someone who makes me feel at ease

3 a gentleman

4 a leader

5 someone old fashioned.

6 someone who has common sense.

7 a provider

8 loves dogs

9 loves books

10. someone loyal, and patient,
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#2
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#2
taggerung said:
1 i am looking for a christian guy

2 someone who makes me feel at ease

3 a gentleman

4 a leader

5 someone old fashioned.

6 someone who has common sense.

7 a provider

8 loves dogs

9 loves books

10. someone loyal, and patient,
Click to expand...
Wow, usually lists like this seem to ask for the impossible. My congrats, though I would say that most young men are in the process of becoming these things and are therefore not there yet.

As for my answer, I have to think about how I want to put what I look for in words.
 
D

djness

Guest
#3
#3
I think the guy you want does not frequent internet chat sites, as he is to be being awesome at life.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#4
#4
I pray for these things in my future husband...

1. He loves the Lord above all else and wants to live His life unto God.

2. He lis a family oriented person

3. He isn't afraid to say what he is thinking and likes to talk with me about anything and everything

4. He has strong morals and values

5. He likes to have fun and enjoy the beauty of this earth :)

And of course I want him to love me as much as I love him :)
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#5
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#5
Nothing is impossible for Christ. :)

1. I look for a man that loves Christ more than anyone or anything else, including myself. Christ will be first in his life, even if it means disappointing me. Believe me, if he is focused on Christ, I will get over my disappointment of him telling me no about something.

2. He will be a Pastor or at least working toward being a Pastor.

3. He will be older than me. Not younger, older, by at least a month...or a day, even...must be older. Yup. :)

4. He will (hopefully) have long hair.

When I was younger, my list was much longer. Eventually, you weed out the randomness and get down to the important stuff. Thus, three and four are still negotiable, more four than three though, which is why they fall in that order. One and two are non-negotiable. Yup and yup again. :) Not looking for marriage but I still have the list. Not wanting to have children, either, and yet I have four names picked out. I am one strange bird...but God loves me anyway. LOL. :D
 
S

Sose

Guest
#6
#6
im caught up between looks or personality. a bodashish babe or a very charming girl without the best of looks.

the quality i desire in a hopefully wife
)someone who has a desire to chase after me.(when im doing wrong she grabs my leg and wont let go)
)someone who has a desire to never let me go to the death.(mercy to forgiveness)
)some one that tries so hard to to understand each other of every aspects(caring feelings about anything)
)someone who there is no fakeness about her, i know her(trust)
)someone who understands what true marriage is GOD marriage( what is the fine line to what really is fornication? my threads)
) all the quality of GOD are always the best, when you realize what they there really are, so amazing.
all the same is what i want to be to her.this understanding of working as one fresh.and she put the Lord Jesus above me always.
Iv seen these thing happen to other people and the guy a cheater but his wife done the thing i writen and i find that person to be so far more amazing than relationship where they easily have problem and end there marriage with out a struggle. like they can find a better guy out there like a dime a dozen. which is can and do. im scared to get into marriage because all people that remarry are on the broad path to hell whether they call them selve Christian or not.and i dont want my girl to leave me if we get married. (Mark 10:10)how can one promise to death do us part be broken and stayed broken be forgiven . that is not GOD definition of forgiveness.
 
RushBreeze

RushBreeze

Member
#7
Dec 20, 2011
70
5
8
#7
I feel bad cause every time I make this list for people I always leave out that he needs to be a Christian and a man after Gods own heart, but considering its always Christian friends who ask, and then they bring it up its kind of like... well of course, I thought it didn't even need mentioning. I guess I feel that it is something so intrinsic that it would feel as redundant as saying that I want him to be a human man, of course thats what I want... what else would he be?

Other then that the only other two things is he needs: to be able to make me laugh, like a deep down to my toes kind of laugh, and be an gentleman, like the old fashioned tip your hat; open doors; sir, mam, and miss kinda fella.

There will always be a silly list of wants that will change with my mood and as I age, but I figure a 6'3'', singer songwriter piano playing man who owns his own summer camp and enjoys youth ministry, is way more then is feasible and who am I to say no to whomever God has picked out for me!
 
taggerung

taggerung

Senior Member
#8
Apr 26, 2009
219
2
18
33
#8
mystdancer50 said:
Nothing is impossible for Christ. :)



When I was younger, my list was much longer. Eventually, you weed out the randomness and get down to the important stuff. Thus, three and four are still negotiable, more four than three though, which is why they fall in that order. One and two are non-negotiable. Yup and yup again. :) Not looking for marriage but I still have the list. Not wanting to have children, either, and yet I have four names picked out. I am one strange bird...but God loves me anyway. LOL. :D
Click to expand...

I was shocked when i read this... i am the same way. i have names picked out for the kids, but i dont actually ever want kids lol :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
I couldn't help it. :) My computer took over and posted this here. :rolleyes:
 

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Paulie079

Guest
#10
#10
I think it's important to have standards, but I really don't want to be too narrow in my choosing either. I think these main things are important:

-Loves Jesus and desires to keep growing in her affections for him
-Wants children
-Is compatible with my personality (This is obviously a DUH point, but see below for what this means...)
-Is conversational
-Has a sense of humor
-Has a heart for ministry of any kind

Past that, I may find things that I feel don't make her and I compatible, but until then, these things are absolutely the most important to me. Anything else is just petty stuff.
 
Vine28

Vine28

Banned
#11
Jul 25, 2012
12
0
0
#11
What I desire for man??????????? ;)
His great desire is God more than ME ;)
He loved to care and sensitive of others;
HE acted of what He believe;)
He had weaknesses and strength :)
A family oriented man and a loving man ;)
A man who desire to have a noble character of a wife in Proverbs 31 ;)
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#13
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#13
Tall, ridiculously good looking, dangerous, independent, deep, intelligent, wants to live like a Secret Agent, willing to travel light, speaks at least 3 languages and has no close ties to her family or was adopted.


I know this is a Christian site and none of us are going to surprise any of us by talking about just how Christian we want our spouse to be. I'm not trying to find the Female version of Tim Tebow. Its really okay to be honest with yourself and each other about what we are looking for.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#14
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#14
Ignoring the typical answers, someone I find beautiful, who shares some of the same hobbies, can have a deep conversation, but also knows when to just sit in peace and quiet, someone into sports, music, movies, reading. Someone who likes the mountains and big cities, similar political views, preferably similar denominations. Good sense of humor, sarcastic, and more.
 
A

AussieChristian

Guest
#15
#15
Cute, not astoundingly hot
Someone who I can actually speak to
Who thinks about the future far enough to actually discuss it
Who will tell me to Shutup! lol when I so desperately require it to be said
A girl of His own heart :) and who follows His way
Serious, not necessarily marriage yet, but in the future, 24/25
And maybe this is too desperate, but who'll agree to not kissing until marriage so that our relationship can mature without physical clouding

It's hard here in Australia!
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#16
#16
Someone the complete opposite of my ex?

Uh, I have to culminate that into a concise list.. it could take some time:p

I'll get back to you.
 
N

niceguyJ

Senior Member
#17
Feb 5, 2011
520
25
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#17
This is another one of those things where there isn't a one answer fits all. We're all different. I'll give it a go...

-She tries her best to put God first and love Him more than anything or anyone. With that in place a lot of other things come together.
-She has very similar beliefs and ideals to my own.
-She loves and accepts me for me.
-She wants the same kind of life as me.
-She's a generally positive person rather than whining and complaining.
-She's honest.
-She's dependable.
-She truly appreciates how well I treat her.
-She shows her love for me in many ways.
-We can laugh together.
-She lets me into places no one else gets to see.
-She is modest.
-She is not contentious.
-She is very much into music and ideally is a musician too.
-I could talk to her for hours on end about anything ranging from the completely silly and ridiculous to serious topics, but also can be completely silent with her.
- She's willing to talk out any problems as they arise rather than letting them sit and grow into something they shouldn't.
-She's down to Earth.
-She's not materialistic.
-She has some smarts...but I'd always take good common sense over book smarts.
-She wears very little, or no makeup at all and I think she looks beautiful just like that.
-She's easily amused rather than having to be doing 5,999 things at once to be satisfied.
-She loves kids, but probably doesn't want her own.
-She has very good hygiene.
-She's a bit quirky, artsy, creative.
-There is something about her that words can't hold that draws me to her.

I'll stop there. I guess that is like a wish list huh? ...but I try to keep in mind that God is full of surprises. :)
 
P

Paulie079

Guest
#18
#18
Paulie079 said:
I think it's important to have standards, but I really don't want to be too narrow in my choosing either. I think these main things are important:

-Loves Jesus and desires to keep growing in her affections for him
-Wants children
-Is compatible with my personality (This is obviously a DUH point, but see below for what this means...)
-Is conversational
-Has a sense of humor
-Has a heart for ministry of any kind

Past that, I may find things that I feel don't make her and I compatible, but until then, these things are absolutely the most important to me. Anything else is just petty stuff.
Click to expand...
I have one more to add to my previous list (apparently it's a running list as things come to mind):

I want a woman who is not always impressed by me--someone who will challenge me and sharpen me and call me out when it's necessary.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#19
#19
niceguyJ said:
-There is something about her that words can't hold that draws me to her.

:)
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This alone is what I want, replacing "her" with "him" of course.

 
A

adekruif

Guest
#20
#20
Liamson said:
Tall, ridiculously good looking, dangerous, independent, deep, intelligent, wants to live like a Secret Agent, willing to travel light, speaks at least 3 languages and has no close ties to her family or was adopted.


I know this is a Christian site and none of us are going to surprise any of us by talking about just how Christian we want our spouse to be. I'm not trying to find the Female version of Tim Tebow. Its really okay to be honest with yourself and each other about what we are looking for.
Click to expand...
I agree. I am a relatively new Christian and so someone who is years ahead of me spiritually isn't necessarily what I am after. I don't want to be the spiritual idiot in the relationship, I want somebody who is somewhere near the same level that I am at. :)

Anyway, the things that would be nice in a lady companion:
- The adventurous type
- Sarcastic, Loves to laugh, and has a healthy sense of humor :)
- Teachable and also able to teach
- The kind of person that makes your mouth drop to the floor when you actually get to know their heart. :)

There are other things that I consider to be standard trim for a Christian girl, the things above are the upgrades/options I want installed by GOD. :)
 
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