cynic or incurable romantic

[Sculpt]

I read in the Bible the advice Paul gave...if single Do NOT look for a wife. IF you are married do not seek to be free. Those who marry will have many troubles. And I want to spare you

see 1 Corinthians 7:27

and yet..soooo many threads are about believers either looking for a wife, (or husband) or married people who are tired of being married lol.

Grass is always greener on the other side, right? Good to keep in mind, but that doesn't tell you whether to get married or not.

Along with writing scripture, Paul also stated his opinions and often specified, 'hey, this is my opinion', or 'here's the guidelines'. Married or single, you will have many problems. I've never heard anyone say marriage is for everyone. Let God's will be done. It's obvious christians get married.

The one time there was large 'christian' community, called the Shakers, who eventually adopted Paul's advise to the extreme of no one in the group getting married. Guess what? They died out. I think there's a physics lesson there.

To answer your question: I guess 'I 'dream of getting married'. I've felt bitter before, and know to flee from it. Obviously we have to take special care about what we desire.

Anyway, there's a famous verse, Psalms 37:4 'Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.' Delight in the Lord, and my desire is marriage.

I hear many wise learned people discuss the importance of praying, seeking, knowing yourself, deciding what your goals are and taking steps. A lady friend texted me, "God can't drive a parked car", in the context of God's will/plan for us. We have the Holy Spirit, scripture, words from others, and the desires of our heart. I think God is able to make 'No' clear, and close windows. If one has a desire to get married, and there's no 'No'... there's many considerations, but maybe you shouldn't keep the car parked.

 

[Lanolin]

My desire isnt to get married, and Im not going to 'die out' because God gives me eternal life, so Im not worried. The things I do now, are for His kingdom and will influence everyone whole lot more than just having my own children.

I dont even do what my parents do so, its not likely my own children would even carry on with what I do.

actually Paul said maried people will have trouble in the flesh and singles are happier, so, its not really related to any denomination. I heard of churches closing cos people cant afford to maintain their church building, even though couples got married in them. so its not even anything really anything to do with that. Most children dont even go to the churches their parents went to anyway.

 

[Sculpt]

My desire isnt to get married, and Im not going to 'die out' because God gives me eternal life, so Im not worried. The things I do now, are for His kingdom and will influence everyone whole lot more than just having my own children.

Well said, we aren't going to die out, we're going to live forever! Praise God!

My Shakers tangent was speaking of a "Singleness Theology" for christians as an whole, as opposed to an individual decision. It's rare to read a "theologian" say NO christian should marry and also have no children. The Shakers is one case their leader did command that. So that's its relevance.

No one should read my comments as an encouragement to marry. Seek God's will for your life, including the question of marriage. Paul makes the argument a single can do more for the Kingdom than a married person for the reason the married person will also want to please their spouse. But Paul did note "because of this present crisis" (I'll get back to that). Is it possible, even Biblical, that some individuals can do more with the support of a spouse? Perhaps. Or perhaps it's part of God's plan that some christians get married and/or have children, even if they "can't do as much".

Let's look at the text 1 Corinthians 7. Was Paul saying all future christians should not marry unless "36 his/her passions are too strong, and he/she feels he/she ought to marry"? Perhaps. But we must note that Paul begins this marriage section writing, "26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is." Bible Commentaries suggest two things: One, some historians believe this was the time period of Nero's intense persecutions, and an area famine (1), and christians would have to frequently flee or move, which is more difficult for married/with children. Or two, some theologians suggest Paul was referring to Christ's imminent return (2). (Footnotes at end of post)

actually Paul said maried people will have trouble in the flesh and singles are happier, so, its not really related to any denomination. I heard of churches closing cos people cant afford to maintain their church building, even though couples got married in them. so its not even anything really anything to do with that. Most children dont even go to the churches their parents went to anyway.

Maybe I'm missing it, or you're referring to another text in the Bible, but I don't see where Paul writes or clearly insinuates, "singles are happier". Where are you getting that, and how do you figure?

1 Corinthians 7:28 "... But those who marry will face troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." If you're referring to this verse, I really don't think it means singles will be happier, and thus, married christians will be less happy. Christ tells us we all will have troubles, and that we all have joy and peace in the Lord. I know you already know this, that Christians find purpose in suffering, and happiness is not exactly a christian goal, rather joy and peace in the Lord regardless of our circumstances, including singleness or marriedness. Rather I think Paul is noting married christians will face unique troubles, likely due to the "present crisis" they were facing.


FOOTNOTES
(1) Barnes' Notes on the Bible: That he by no means meant that this should be a "permanent arrangement" in the church, and of course it cannot be urged as an argument for the monastic system. ... If the Epistle was written about 59 a.d. (see the introduction), it was in the time of Nero; and probably he had already begun to oppress and persecute Christians. At all events, it is evident that the Christians at Corinth were subject to some trials which rendered the cares of the marriage life undesirable.

(2) Ellicott's Commentary: The “impending distress” is that foretold by Christ, Matthew 24:8 et seq. The Apostle regarded the coming of Christ as no distant event, and in the calamities already threatening the Church, such as the famine in the time of Claudius (Acts 11:28), and in the gathering persecutions, he heard the first mutterings of the storm which should burst upon the world before the sign of the Son of Man should appear in the heavens.

 

[Lanolin]

sometimes I read chicklit novels (or romance) so as to avoid being too cynical, cos the heroines of those books always either get married or if its contemporary find happiness in their mate. Well they dont die otherwise it would be a horror novel.

but sometimes i think those 'romance' novels just make me more cynical cos the way they are written sometimes is unbelievble lol

 

[Lanolin]

ok the scripture where Paul says singles are happier?

1 corinthians 7:40

often overlooked. I guess people read in the Bible what THEY wanna read lol

 

[Sculpt]

ok the scripture where Paul says singles are happier?

1 Corinthians 7:40

often overlooked. I guess people read in the Bible what THEY wanna read lol

1 Corinthians 7:40 "In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God." Thank you, Lanolin! I love that this was right there!

Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to give this verse its proper attention. I want to bring up two issues that relate directly to the context of the chapter. One is single versus widow. And two is the application of Paul's "because of this present crisis".

Singles or Widows?
One, you did write "singles are happier". Just to clear, Paul specifically writes he's talking about widows, not all singles. Verse 40 starts "But she is happier if she so abide,". "She"? who is "she"? Verse 39 "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord."


"Because of this present crisis"
The other issue I want to highlight I'll start with this quick hit: did you know the historical root of the word happiness is happenstance?

"This is from the Middle English hap meaning "chance" or "good luck." We can see the remnants of this in our words perhaps and happenstance." Source

The King James version (published 1611) uses the word "happier", as does most translations, probably by no accident. Meaning the 'happenstance' of this 'happier' is 1 Cor 7:26: "Because of this present crisis".

Is some of Paul's advice specific to the members of the Ephesian church for AD 59. Paul begins this marriage section writing, (7:26) Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is." Bible Commentaries write some historians believe this was the time period of Nero's intense persecutions, and an area famine (1), and christians would have to frequently flee or move, which is more difficult for married/with children folks. (More on that commentary here: 1 Corinthians 7:40 - Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary - StudyLight.org)

 

[Lanolin]

1 Corinthians 7:40 "In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God." Thank you, Lanolin! I love that this was right there!

Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to give this verse its proper attention. I want to bring up two issues that relate directly to the context of the chapter. One is single versus widow. And two is the application of Paul's "because of this present crisis".

Singles or Widows?
One, you did write "singles are happier". Just to clear, Paul specifically writes he's talking about widows, not all singles. Verse 40 starts "But she is happier if she so abide,". "She"? who is "she"? Verse 39 "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord."


"Because of this present crisis"
The other issue I want to highlight I'll start with this quick hit: did you know the historical root of the word happiness is happenstance?

"This is from the Middle English hap meaning "chance" or "good luck." We can see the remnants of this in our words perhaps and happenstance." Source

The King James version (published 1611) uses the word "happier", as does most translations, probably by no accident. Meaning the 'happenstance' of this 'happier' is 1 Cor 7:26: "Because of this present crisis".

Is some of Paul's advice specific to the members of the Ephesian church for AD 59. Paul begins this marriage section writing, (7:26) Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is." Bible Commentaries write some historians believe this was the time period of Nero's intense persecutions, and an area famine (1), and christians would have to frequently flee or move, which is more difficult for married/with children folks. (More on that commentary here: 1 Corinthians 7:40 - Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary - StudyLight.org)

Paul is talking about both, you completely skip over previous verses and seems like you only wanna read what you wanna read lol.

ok read chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians IN FULL

and pay attention to what Paul writes in verse 8

and also verses 37-38

where he is writing about unmarried women.

Then pray for understanding because its just plain in scriputre and if you cant see what it means just read it again. No skipping ok?

 

[Sculpt]

Paul is talking about both, you completely skip over previous verses and seems like you only wanna read what you wanna read lol.

ok read chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians IN FULL

and pay attention to what Paul writes in verse 8

and also verses 37-38

where he is writing about unmarried women.

Then pray for understanding because its just plain in scriputre and if you cant see what it means just read it again. No skipping ok?

Oh noes I think we just jumped onto two different tracks. = )

If you're saying 1 Cor 7 is talking about both singles and widows, then yes of course I agree. Wasn't saying the opposite. I was just saying 7:39-40 is talking about widows in particular. But we're way off you're thread topic, so I think I'm just gonna say I'm an incurable romantic. = )

 

[Lanolin]

Oh noes I think we just jumped onto two different tracks. = )

If you're saying 1 Cor 7 is talking about both singles and widows, then yes of course I agree. Wasn't saying the opposite. I was just saying 7:39-40 is talking about widows in particular. But we're way off you're thread topic, so I think I'm just gonna say I'm an incurable romantic. = )

ok gotcha lol

 

[Lanolin]

the 9 perfect strangers by Liane Moriarty novel...(being turned into a tv aeries starting Nicole Kidman)

that I read the other week
anyway I forgot about it but just want to pick up this thread again becuase one of the characters was a ROMANCE writer who goes to this health and wellbeing resort looking for a cure

lol
she got scammed by someone online who made up this romance with her, she had already been married and divorced twice..AND her last novel was savaged by a critic...

Does she get cured? well...wont spoil the ending, but pretty sure she went to the resort hoping to find some romance as her 'cure' but doesnt that mean shes incurable?

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Was romantic, got hurt.
Cynical and reserved. Romance can wait.
No need to rush beyond friendship

 

[Lanolin]

I think people forget that Satan can use 'romance' as well to get people to fall. Its not as if he leaves it alone.

Isnt the heart deceitful and wicked above all things?

 

[Lanolin]

Jeremiah 17:9

also...look what Delilah did to Samson.

 

[JustJames]

I'm very romantic. But I'm cynical about it.

 

[Lanolin]

huh

there's a few possibilties I havent considered...

the incurable cynic
and the cynical romantic.

 

[JustJames]

huh

there's a few possibilties I havent considered...

the incurable cynic
and the cynical romantic.

Exactly, have to consider all the options here

 

[Lanolin]

I picked up this book that is nz chick lit. Its about a 28 year old single female who works in abusy cafe in a small town, her business partner is getting married to her twin brother and she meets a guy (of course) who she is attracted to (of course) and they sleep together onnthe first date (of course) even though he is already married (of course) and has a son (of course) but his wife has mental illness and he just cant handle being around her, so its ok to be unfaithful (of course)

Im like yea whatver, what a screw up this guy cant stay faithful and hes somehow a hot catch because his wife is suffering from mental illness? Whatever happened to in sickness and in health? The minute you get sick the guy you marry think its ok to split and bonk someone else?

People that suffere mental illness, depression etc are not that way ON PURPOSE