Dating Criteria?

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Matthew

Guest
#1
#1
I am 26 years old and single, I have never had a serious romantic relationship nor any kind of physical relationship and obviously I am sure you all can understand it gets harder everyday.

I see people write in various places that they are looking for someone of a certain age or within a certain age range and it is something I have never understood, with christians least of all.

As someone who has been a person of faith to some extent throughout my life I have always tried to stay open to the possibility that someone I would not expect to be attracted too might be someone I fall in love with, we never know when love may come and so I would never seek to find someone of any certain age group, if you believe that the Lord will bring you together with the right person isn't it perhaps foolish to actively state your desire for someone your own age or thereabouts?

Having criteria of any sort seems pointless to me, believing the Lord has a person for us surely means that stating our own desired preferences is a waste of time, we will come together with the right person and likely that person won't be all the things we might have chosen if we ourselves had the choice, won't the Lord give us what we need, not what we want.

Am I backwards on this issue? I'd like to know what you all think.
Thanks.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#2
#2
I feel the same way. I believe that God created someone special for me. I do not know what he looks like, how old he is, what he does for a living. I do know what I want for a future mate. I am not really concerned about age and looks. I would want my future partner to be a Christian, like kids, and also be willing to accept my past.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#3
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#3
Matthew said:
I am 26 years old and single, I have never had a serious romantic relationship nor any kind of physical relationship and obviously I am sure you all can understand it gets harder everyday.

I see people write in various places that they are looking for someone of a certain age or within a certain age range and it is something I have never understood, with christians least of all.

As someone who has been a person of faith to some extent throughout my life I have always tried to stay open to the possibility that someone I would not expect to be attracted too might be someone I fall in love with, we never know when love may come and so I would never seek to find someone of any certain age group, if you believe that the Lord will bring you together with the right person isn't it perhaps foolish to actively state your desire for someone your own age or thereabouts?

Having criteria of any sort seems pointless to me, believing the Lord has a person for us surely means that stating our own desired preferences is a waste of time, we will come together with the right person and likely that person won't be all the things we might have chosen if we ourselves had the choice, won't the Lord give us what we need, not what we want.

Am I backwards on this issue? I'd like to know what you all think.
Thanks.
Click to expand...

Finally a post that makes sense!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Very well said. :)
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#4
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#4
I'm just a bit puzzled about why it gets harder every day?
 
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ChristopherMichael

Guest
#5
#5
Matthew: I disagree! I think criteria keep you from compromising your wants and needs. When that happens, you wind up being very unhappy in your relationship.

- Topher
 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#6
#6
Must be 6' or taller im willing to compromise on everything but that.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#7
#7
MahogonySnail said:
I'm just a bit puzzled about why it gets harder every day?
Click to expand...
Having never had a relationship I feel lonely sometimes because I know right now I am missing out on something that could be wonderful, I get lonely and so the longer it goes on the harder it is to bear.

ChristopherMichael said:
Matthew: I disagree! I think criteria keep you from compromising your wants and needs. When that happens, you wind up being very unhappy in your relationship.

- Topher
Click to expand...
That's fair and I get what you mean, I suppose I just see it a little differently, If I was with someone who didn't meet a criteria I wouldn't see it as a reason to turn away but more like a challenge to see past it to other things and maybe then it wouldn't seem like such a big deal, I just try not to put the weight of my expectation on my someone new I might meet.
 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#8
#8
Matthew i really like your attitude about this!! How you see it more like a challenge to get past..... very nice!
 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#9
#9
(quote matthew }Having never had a relationship I feel lonely sometimes because I know right now I am missing out on something that could be wonderful, I get lonely and so the longer it goes on the harder it is to bear.

or you might be glad your missing out on it, you could have dated a horrible girl that nagged you all the time and asked you matthew.. do these pants make my butt look big... then you woulda had to say no honey you look fine.. when REALLY its not the pants that make her butt look big... its her butt. .. just think of it like god saved you from that.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#10
#10
Leilaii425 said:
or you might be glad your missing out on it, you could have dated a horrible girl that nagged you all the time and asked you matthew.. do these pants make my butt look big... then you woulda had to say no honey you look fine.. when REALLY its not the pants that make her butt look big... its her butt. .. just think of it like god saved you from that.
Click to expand...
That's an upside I've never really thought about, good point! :D
 
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Twilight

Guest
#11
#11
Leileii, you're hilarious, girl!!
 
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Twilight

Guest
#12
#12
I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. I think God wants us to ask for what we would like in a mate as the Word tells us He does want to give us the desires of our heart. But then trust Him with the ultimate decision of who will truly be best for us, who has the characteristics that will make them the best person for us. Tell God our desires, but then trust Him, having taken those prayers to heart, to give us what He knows is best.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#13
#13
It would be nice to have a guy that is everything I would ever want, but I dont see myself finding anyone that I would settle down with. I know that I want a guy that is a Christian but I dont want someone that has high expectations.
 
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Remmy

Guest
#14
#14
having a dating criteria is not totally pointless to me.
i have made alot bad decisions in life when it comes to dating.that is why i made my list of what a guy must have.and beleive me this list is called mr right, NOT mr perfect(that would be a whole different list).you know sometimes we get tired of waiting for the right mate and we settle for less..somebody who is not right for us.why do you think there are so many divorces.not just because hes a christian and he seems interested in you means he is the RIGHT person for you.i think everybody should have a list,just as a reminder what to look for in partner.we are all unique creatures made by God so we all have our different preferances.thats how God created us! i think God will gives us our hearts desires if our list is not made out of selfishness

this is my list of mr right:
-God fearing
-goal oriented
-leadership abilities
-strong in his walk with the lord
-good sense of humour
-attractive
-must accept my son and my past
-treat me like a princess

now im not sayin that this guys should show these qualities perfectly im just saing they must be present.
i also pray to God everyday that HIS will may be done for my life and i tell Him that if he doesnt agree with anything im asking for (including the list) than let it be known to me and may HE give me whatever HE thinks is right for me.so i ask God certain things but at the same time i tell him may HIS wil be done,not mine.

God bless you all!
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#15
#15
Renee's list of must have qualities for a partner

1. God fearing Christian

2.Funny and has a great sense of humor

3. Accepts my daughter

4. Does his own laundry

5. Takes out the trash

6. humble


 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#16
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#16
If your mum does your laundry is that counted as "doing your own?", I mean it's still in the family right?
 
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chelsers

Guest
#17
#17
My mom does my laundry :)
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#18
May 5, 2009
2,565
20
38
#18
Yeah me too, but I help out sometimes.....maybe there needs to be a thread about this...
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#19
#19
I think the real question here should be...

'Are you capable of successfully doing your own laundry?' ' Do you know to separate colours from whites?' 'If you were left to fend for yourself for an entire month, would you be able to produce clean clothes, cook a meal, and shop for groceries?'

Well, would you??
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#20
May 5, 2009
2,565
20
38
#20
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 
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