Dating question: How often should you cook meals for your boyfriend?

[Suzie2family]

I have this question about when a girl is dating a guy--how often should she cook for him or even go "dutch" on dates?

On the one hand, isn't it kind of traditional for the guy to take her out somewhere for dinner(and also pay for the date)? Is that too old-fashioned?

On the other hand, if he tends to be somewhat non-domestic, wouldn't it be a nice gesture to feed him (cook home-cooked meals--assuming the girl likes to cook) occasionally? How often would be too often in your opinion (like "mothering" him or fostering a moocher)?

How often should a couple expect to go out to eat or have him foot the bill in the relationship for all the activities? Should he always pay if they are going steady?

Even if they're both working steady jobs a girl needs to know her guy can support her financially if they are going to become serious in their relationship long-term so is it too much to ask him to pay for their dates? What do you think?

 

[Faeriecat]

Considering I love to cook and have no one to cook for I regularly cook for my coworkers just for the fun of it. So yeah, I see no reason that a lady -- or a gent -- couldn't cook for the other. As for frequency, that depends on the individual situation really.

But I also see that is a more ... established relationship caring for the other thing. At the beginning of a relationship I probably would (personally) lean towards the dinners out.

As for who pays -- again, depends on the situation I think, and the individuals involved beliefs. Not necessarily relgious beliefs, but their 'raising/upbringing'. For example, I work with a bunch of small town/rural area southern gents. They hold open doors. Frequently. For any lady. One of my new coworkers, being from downtown Atlanta, was completely ~baffled~ as to why these gents were holding open doors for them.

Anyway, hope that helps some.

 

[farrahanne91]

Hmm, I know I'm only 19.. but I've been there. I've cooked for my guys on a couple of occasions; when I haven't seen them in awhile, or I just wanted to do something nice for him. I don't think that's mooching. I did, however, date a guy who came over EVERY night for supper for 2 weeks! (even when we ate out) and he NEVER offered to pitch in or pay for his meal. That's mooching. As far as going "dutch", once the awkwardness or new relationship-jitters go away after the first few dates, I think it's totally okay for the girl to offer to pay her share. I've even said "I'll get it next time." So he doesn't feel like YOU are mooching from him. I don't want a guy I'm dating to feel that he has to pay for me, or that he has to support me financially. I also won't go anywhere with a guy unless I have the money to pay my way (just in case), or arrangements have already been made. That's just me. I like no pressure dates. lol

 

[christiancollegegirl]

I've cooked for boyfriends before. I made one his birthday dinner and the other was for no reason at all. I also made them birthday cakes too. I'm not much of a cooker, but when I do, I like cooking for more than one person. Cooking for a boyfriend makes it all the more special.

 

[The_boy]

I'm a bit odd for a guy... I love to cook. I cook for the fun of it (I DO however hate cleaning up afterwards...takes the fun out of it). Not only do I like to cook but I'm good at it too. I'm not exactly well off so for dinners with my gf or friends I PREFER to cook. It's cheaper, it's more fun, and honestly it has a more special and intimate feel to it. She doesn't even have to come over for me to cook, I can make it ahead of time and meet her somewhere. My neighbor doesn't like brownies. She thinks they're too "heavy". Well... its an apartment and she smelled me making some and so I decided to take her one. I've since made them once or twice a month cuz she can't figure out how I make them so good... and even when I told her she tried and failed.

 

[kayem77]

I think occasionally cooking for him is fine.It maybe depends of the relationship and how comfortable you feel doing things for your loved one, or if you are a cooker, but I think it's a really nice detail to do once in a while (or often if you enjoy cooking Idk).
I definitely need to learn how to cook....sandwiches are not romantic unless they are shaped like little hearts.

 

[Ugly]

Problem with these kinds of questions are there is no 'blanket' answer that you can say 'at x time its ok... etc.' It all varies from each individual relationship. It could also depend on how appreciated that act may be viewed. Some people may not think it means much, whereas others might be touched by it. I think the frequency depends on A) how long the relationship has been and how close. B) how much you enjoy cooking.
Also finances could play a part in it. If your boyfriend doesn't have a lot of money to spend eating out every weekend, it could be not only a caring, but helpful gesture to alleviate the financial pressure.
so yeah, once again, there is no pat easy answer to your questions.

 

[Bridget_in_China]

I must be weird. I've never understood the rule that dictates that men have to pay for every meal whilst dating/courting. This doesn't show me that he can support me financially.. it just shows me that he's been conditioned to the princess mentality that many (not all) girls have been brought up in. I know it's 'traditional' and "old fashioned" but maybe I'm just a new breed of woman. I like to treat my boyfriends to meals out in restaurants as often as I am treated. (or dutch is acceptable as well). I LOVE to cook for them. And I also love it when they reciprocate. I have no desire to be the type of woman who expects meals to be paid for me simply because I am a woman and you are a man and that's the way "it" works. I know I'll probably get a lot of hate for this.. but meh. It's how I truly feel. I'm not a princess, I don't need meals paid for all the time nor do I need jewelry or other gifties. I'm happy with quality time.

But the real question is: Are you man enough to let me pay for dinner? hehe

 

[allforfun]

Dear Bridget, I completely agree with you. However, that opinion is very unpopular around here. It is very much a "the man pays or he will be a slacker while married" attitude. Not even taking into consideration that we are hitting slump in the economy, I don't believe it is Biblical. A Proverbs 31 woman looks to me like she works, but whatever.

So, yay, I am glad I am not alone in not minding paying for stuff while dating. Or going dutch.

I have never believed in "whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine" mindset. I just don't hang with that.

 

[Megatron]

im also totally fine with the woman paying occasionally i mean lets be honest, there are thigns id rather spend my mone on than feeding you constantly...no offense

 

[allforfun]

None taken here.

 

[babarainbowsheep]

I love cooking for someone and cooking for myself does not thrill me.
Some people get so happy and passionate about food which just makes it fun to see their excitement and pleasure as they eat.


Its nice if one can cook for eachother or do nice things for eachother.
If I am aaalways cooking and paying maybe that wont be nice..

To give the one you love pleasure and enjoyment and concideration by cooking somethin g special for them is really a pleasure for me,to serve them.
Not just my partner if I am dating someone but also family or friends.
Suprise them with a special meal and nice table setting.
I just stayed a couple weeks with my Mother and was really nice to cook for her as Im not working at the moment.She is.For her to have meals served when she gets home from work.
I made entree, dinner and desert.
Last thing she wanted to do was cook when she gets home.

 

[Elizabeth619]

im also totally fine with the woman paying occasionally i mean lets be honest, there are thigns id rather spend my mone on than feeding you constantly...no offense

........................

 

[Pheonix]

I've never had a girlfriend who could cook, so I can't really answer this question except to say that I would enjoy having her cook for me once in a while, and on occasion I wouldn't mind cooking for her either.

As for the rest I think It kind of depends on what the two of you want. Eating out gets real expensive really fast and is likely to become more so. Cooking for the other person doesn't have to be a candle lit dinner and 8 courses. Mac n cheese might be all that's needed. The point is you are together and enjoying each other's company.

 

[Jullianna]

I love to cook and experiment in the kitchen. It would be great to be with someone who enjoyed that too. You can tell a lot from a guy by the way he slices onions.

 

[Elizabeth619]

I love to cook, but if I cook the man better clean up the mess.

 

[cafarmgirl]

I love to cook, but if I cook the man better clean up the mess.

I like that

 

[framester]

How often should you cook meals for your boyfriend?

WELL, let us have a taste of your Cooking first and we'll tell you.

 

[christiancollegegirl]

I love to cook, but if I cook the man better clean up the mess.

I concur!

It's been a while since I cooked for anyone but myself and my family. I think cooking for a special person is a great way to show you care for them. And like someone said, it doesn't have to be anything elaborate. I made a birthday dinner for my then boyfriend that didn't turn out the best but he loved it anyway because I made it myself.