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It does do a lot of damage and I don't believe God just expects us to shrug it off like it was no big deal. But at the same time, do we just sit and lament over it for the rest of our lives? Of course not. I am really sorry what happened to you. Something like that can cause trust issues for anyone. At the same time, though, I know I would want to try and move on with my life. Seek God and any help possible. I agree it's easier said than done. But I just felt topics like this that causes us to recall bad stuff brings us back to those negative feelings.
L
I totally get what you're saying. I am picking up what you're laying down. Fo sho!
Big rub is - I hate sex. I think it's gross. Spit, sweat, genital discharges, ick...just ick. I'd be a perfect match for a celibate woman, but problem is, I don't know many of those that aren't well past menopause and have 20 cats. I still believe in love, but I don't want to have to physically express it. Spiritually and emotionally has to be enough. I mean, I'd still be down to take a bubble bath with her and help her shave her legs, but it ain't going past that. I don't even masturbate, so she's not getting any "action" out of me. Hard to find a woman these days that can go without sex. This culture today is over-sexed and it makes me sad.
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Hmmm, I agree that the culture is over-sexed, but if you HATE sex and view it as disgusting, I do feel that this makes for a very unhealthy and dysfunctional marriage and I'm sure that was really difficult for both of your exes. While a woman has no excuse to ever cheat on a man in marriage, you should know that if your wife ever even suspected that you were disgusted by having sex with her, that is also emotionally damaging and even crippling for her.
They were wrong in what they did, but you need to own up to your part in the breakdown of those marriages as well. They may not have known what they were signing up for when they married someone who abhorred sexual intimacy. The good news is that there are women out there who share your views about sex, but would still love a platonic affectionate relationship with a husband of their own. So don't give up, but do make SURE that they know exactly how things are - and agree to it - before making any commitments, because otherwise it is doomed to fail. And by fail I don't mean divorce. The divorce is just the usual result of marriage failure, not the cause itself.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NLT
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
C
In the present, since I coparent. Most of the time everything is okay since I just obey my ex and say yes and amen not to cause any trouble for the kids, but yesterday I really had it. Somehow my phone didn't make a sound so he changed his mind, you never know if they're with me or with him in the weekend, it depends on his mood and then he's just like: You didn't pick up the phone, so next saturday they go to me, just no normal conversation, control, bam. And I just say okay. I'm so happy that I'm just free, having that in your marriage was just undoable, for now well I feel bad for an hour, then I forgive him and am happy I'm free.
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L
Hmmm, I agree that the culture is over-sexed, but if you HATE sex and view it as disgusting, I do feel that this makes for a very unhealthy and dysfunctional marriage and I'm sure that was really difficult for both of your exes. While a woman has no excuse to ever cheat on a man in marriage, you should know that if your wife ever even suspected that you were disgusted by having sex with her, that is also emotionally damaging and even crippling for her. They were wrong in what they did, but you need to own up to your part in the breakdown of those marriages as well. They may not have known what they were signing up for when they married someone who abhorred sexual intimacy.
The good news is that there are women out there who share your views about sex, but would still love a platonic affectionate relationship with a husband of their own. So don't give up, but do make SURE that they know exactly how things are - and agree to it - before making any commitments, because otherwise it is doomed to fail. And by fail I don't mean divorce. The divorce is just the usual result of marriage failure, not the cause itself.
They were wrong in what they did, but you need to own up to your part in the breakdown of those marriages as well. They may not have known what they were signing up for when they married someone who abhorred sexual intimacy. The good news is that there are women out there who share your views about sex, but would still love a platonic affectionate relationship with a husband of their own. So don't give up, but do make SURE that they know exactly how things are - and agree to it - before making any commitments, because otherwise it is doomed to fail. And by fail I don't mean divorce. The divorce is just the usual result of marriage failure, not the cause itself.
I was upfront about my views on sex well before we ever got married. I have never hidden my views from anyone. Both of my ex wives were on board with my views and told me "it won't be a problem". Well, they lied. Or maybe they didn't - they obviously had no problem cheating on me.
