yeah, i can really understand where you're coming from. a lot of the advice you've been given is really great, but i'd also include a little more:
you seem like someone who might have some trouble being really honest with people--not calling you a liar, but being direct and forthcoming when there is a need to do so. i may have a frustration, but when those feelings persist and i'm feeling the need to vent to others, that is usually a good sign for me that i should consider talking to that person, and share my heart with them.
it can be really hard to do that, but in these kind of circumstances, honesty is the best way of letting people know where your boundaries are.
how about simply saying:
john, as much as i enjoy being around you and your wife, it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about sex--it's really awkward for me to hear those personal details about your private life. also, another thing that makes me uncomfortable is when you try to set me up with other women. i really am not interested in being set up with someone. thought i do appreciate your intentions--that's just not where i am at, and i would be grateful if you'd stop. but, i'll let you know when and if those circumstances change.
so often people will simply avoid and never say a word. you are not only protecting yourself, but being a better friend by holding up a mirror to that inappropriate behavior so that they can realize what they're doing and how it sounds and appears to you. if they do it with you, they probably do similarly inappropriate things and this is something they need to hear from a friend who loves them.
it's not easy to do, but it's well worth the courage it takes to do such a thing. usually, my friendships are greatly improved by the additional trust that is gained when either or both parties finds the courage to be honest and loving. in fact, i'd go as far as saying that i probably only measure the strength of my relationships by the honesty that exists between us.
if i can't be honest and open with a friend then i also know that we don't really have the capacity for us to be good friends.
you seem like someone who might have some trouble being really honest with people--not calling you a liar, but being direct and forthcoming when there is a need to do so. i may have a frustration, but when those feelings persist and i'm feeling the need to vent to others, that is usually a good sign for me that i should consider talking to that person, and share my heart with them.
it can be really hard to do that, but in these kind of circumstances, honesty is the best way of letting people know where your boundaries are.
how about simply saying:
john, as much as i enjoy being around you and your wife, it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about sex--it's really awkward for me to hear those personal details about your private life. also, another thing that makes me uncomfortable is when you try to set me up with other women. i really am not interested in being set up with someone. thought i do appreciate your intentions--that's just not where i am at, and i would be grateful if you'd stop. but, i'll let you know when and if those circumstances change.
so often people will simply avoid and never say a word. you are not only protecting yourself, but being a better friend by holding up a mirror to that inappropriate behavior so that they can realize what they're doing and how it sounds and appears to you. if they do it with you, they probably do similarly inappropriate things and this is something they need to hear from a friend who loves them.
it's not easy to do, but it's well worth the courage it takes to do such a thing. usually, my friendships are greatly improved by the additional trust that is gained when either or both parties finds the courage to be honest and loving. in fact, i'd go as far as saying that i probably only measure the strength of my relationships by the honesty that exists between us.
if i can't be honest and open with a friend then i also know that we don't really have the capacity for us to be good friends.