Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

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Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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BTW Butterflyyy, why did you thumb down my post above (we need a new forum feature for thumbing down a thumb down)? Are you suggesting Anne is a man?
I think you came across as rude to her tbh
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
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Montreal, Quebec, Canada
I think you came across as rude to her tbh
Coming across is one thing, the truth is another. One is never rude for asserting what's right and true no matter how harsh it might be (harshness is not rudeness when it has a good intention of asserting the truth instead of a bad intention of insulting someone like rudeness).

That said, some people might perceive assertion of truth as rudeness because they may have accepted lies at other people's expense that they're too accustomed to and don't want the inconvenience of losing. May God bless them and lead them to a truthful life instead.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
Where in the post did she ask that? Why you gotta judge what other people watch? I bet you don't watch Christian shows and listen to Christian music 24/7.
And those of you who liked his post...I know ya'll ain't saints either...:cautious:
I used to be LadyInWaiting by the way...
Also, If I came across as rude, or judging for that I do apologize. It is easy to get careless on these forums and I will make a better effort to sound polite and kind in my future posts. I do not know LadyInWaiting but I love her and want only her best in Jesus Christ.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,592
1,308
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Coming across is one thing, the truth is another. One is never rude for asserting what's right and true no matter how harsh it might be (harshness is not rudeness when it has a good intention of asserting the truth instead of a bad intention of insulting someone like rudeness).

That said, some people might perceive assertion of truth as rudeness because they may have accepted lies at other people's expense that they're too accustomed to and don't want the inconvenience of losing. May God bless them and lead them to a truthful life instead.
The way you did it was rude FYI, and the fact you did it was aswell. If Anne wants to say her opinion on this thread it's up to her; it was valid input and I am not the only person on this thread to think that. You obvs have issues sorry but you do and it would be good to pray about it because you're not being very nice.
Who appointed you as Thread Police?😐
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,592
1,308
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Coming across is one thing, the truth is another. One is never rude for asserting what's right and true no matter how harsh it might be (harshness is not rudeness when it has a good intention of asserting the truth instead of a bad intention of insulting someone like rudeness).

That said, some people might perceive assertion of truth as rudeness because they may have accepted lies at other people's expense that they're too accustomed to and don't want the inconvenience of losing. May God bless them and lead them to a truthful life instead.
lol I think you need to take your own advice here 🤣
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,592
1,308
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I have to say... I like it when a man ( a man I like that is) pursues me... and I certainly would not like a man to try and play hard-to-get with me; this would be a sure way to lose me as it would seem ignorant...
Surely if two people liked each other they would keep responding to each other😁💕
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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hence ghosting.

Being invisible has its benefits, actually.

as for the tv shows, well, they arent reality, Usually they are made by rich tv producers who dont have a clue how the real world works. They also go on dates SPONSORED by the advertisers. No honest, decent man has that much time, energy or money to go squiring round dozens of women.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Also, If I came across as rude, or judging for that I do apologize. It is easy to get careless on these forums and I will make a better effort to sound polite and kind in my future posts. I do not know LadyInWaiting but I love her and want only her best in Jesus Christ.
You missed the part where LittleMermaid IS LadyInWaiting. LittleMermaid is the one who started this thread, under a different nick a while ago, and LittleMermaid is objecting to your post because SHE is the one you are condescending to.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
You missed the part where LittleMermaid IS LadyInWaiting. LittleMermaid is the one who started this thread, under a different nick a while ago, and LittleMermaid is objecting to your post because SHE is the one you are condescending to.
I love them all. :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
lavender is fine, but it should be fresh not dried.
You dont know the langauge of flowers? do some research man. They arent just for weddings and funerals.
I am going to learn the language of flowers as I am not as fluent as I should be in this regards.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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I'll share my thoughts on the original question. I think perspective and how we identify actions makes a huge difference. When I was in my early 20s I met and dated many nice men (this was in a Christian context and dating meant going for a walk or meal, or movie or church event). The key was I saw them as people. All people want to know that if they put themselves out there they won't be rejected. All people want to know that they are seen and that the other person finds them interesting. I didn't think of it as pursuing/chasing or taking the first step. What I did, if I met someone who interested me, is I'd learn about them, engage them in conversation and then make a pathway that said I was safe to talk to and welcomed their company. For example, I'd ask questions about them and their interests. If we'd been in a bible study together I'd share in the discussion. I was a history major with a specialty in reformation studies so I love to find someone who could discuss ideas. I'd let them see me as an authentic person, rather than morphing into the person I thought they'd want. If things were good I might mention some things I was looking forward to doing, or a movie I'd like to see. This let them know that I'd be open to kayaking, a walk on the beach hunting for driftwood or sea glass or visiting the Star Trek exhibit. I treated them as a person with the same shyness, or uncertainties that I might have. If they acted on it and asked if I'd like to go do one of these things with him then I'd accept. I didn't go with a laundry list of shallow items that could exclude some amazing people.
I never had a fellow feel chased/pursued by me treating him with interest in who he was. It takes a lot for a fellow to ask out a woman and making him feel safe to do so is just respectful and kind.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
I'll share my thoughts on the original question. I think perspective and how we identify actions makes a huge difference. When I was in my early 20s I met and dated many nice men (this was in a Christian context and dating meant going for a walk or meal, or movie or church event). The key was I saw them as people. All people want to know that if they put themselves out there they won't be rejected. All people want to know that they are seen and that the other person finds them interesting. I didn't think of it as pursuing/chasing or taking the first step. What I did, if I met someone who interested me, is I'd learn about them, engage them in conversation and then make a pathway that said I was safe to talk to and welcomed their company. For example, I'd ask questions about them and their interests. If we'd been in a bible study together I'd share in the discussion. I was a history major with a specialty in reformation studies so I love to find someone who could discuss ideas. I'd let them see me as an authentic person, rather than morphing into the person I thought they'd want. If things were good I might mention some things I was looking forward to doing, or a movie I'd like to see. This let them know that I'd be open to kayaking, a walk on the beach hunting for driftwood or sea glass or visiting the Star Trek exhibit. I treated them as a person with the same shyness, or uncertainties that I might have. If they acted on it and asked if I'd like to go do one of these things with him then I'd accept. I didn't go with a laundry list of shallow items that could exclude some amazing people.
I never had a fellow feel chased/pursued by me treating him with interest in who he was. It takes a lot for a fellow to ask out a woman and making him feel safe to do so is just respectful and kind.
You would have had me at "history major with a specialty in reformation studies" Woo hoo. So hot!!! :love:
 
Mar 4, 2020
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I'm ok with being courted by women. It's a bit untraditional, but most women I've dated came at me first. I find it flattering and it's cool. I don't mind being bought flowers for or having the door held open for me or they put their arm over me at the movies either.

I do tend to be assertive, though, not in a bossy sort of way. I just know what I want and have a clear plan for the future that I'm confident will work out well for me and a woman.

So for me it's good for a woman to take the lead in certain things, but I want to take the lead in other things. I think that's fair.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
Also, If I came across as rude, or judging for that I do apologize. It is easy to get careless on these forums and I will make a better effort to sound polite and kind in my future posts. I do not know LadyInWaiting but I love her and want only her best in Jesus Christ.
It's fine brother. I admit I may have reacted emotionally and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry too. I think sanctification is very important and it's a process...a lifelong one. So even though I know shows like The Bachelor are bad...I still want to see them sometimes. Although, I didn't see the latest season.

And yeah, I am the OP. I've been on here with several names. I am very indecisive. o_O
I can see what you mean now. I wouldn't want to marry a man that is addicted to video games or pornography.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,369
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I'm ok with being courted by women. It's a bit untraditional, but most women I've dated came at me first. I find it flattering and it's cool. I don't mind being bought flowers for or having the door held open for me or they put their arm over me at the movies either.

I do tend to be assertive, though, not in a bossy sort of way. I just know what I want and have a clear plan for the future that I'm confident will work out well for me and a woman.

So for me it's good for a woman to take the lead in certain things, but I want to take the lead in other things. I think that's fair.
Wait..... So the women bring you flowers and put their arm around you at the movies? and they hold the door open for you?
 
S

Scribe

Guest
Wait..... So the women bring you flowers and put their arm around you at the movies? and they hold the door open for you?
He lives in Seattle, their very progressive there, I've heard.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
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You would have had me at "history major with a specialty in reformation studies" Woo hoo. So hot!!! :love:
She laughs demurely while fanning herself with a copy of Roland Bainton's "Here I stand", and continues to peruse Foxe's Book of Martyrs.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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Wait..... So the women bring you flowers and put their arm around you at the movies? and they hold the door open for you?
It's happened, yes. Not in a while, unfortunately, but it's nice. What is your opinion on that? Kinda unusual?