Nope, not the least bit envious. Actually, I do admire people who can handle it (I MAY have to one day - my husband is on the fence and I'm like NO - but if he wants one, I'll give him one) because it's A LOT of work for at least 18 years, but likely more if you have more than one child. You have the 24/7 care in their first years, having to tote around a bag with all their needs in it, and then when they get a little older, you have to teach them responsibilities, and THEN (like someone else pointed out) they become teenagers! And do know that the trend nowadays, especially in these hard times, is that the young adult child comes RIGHT BACK and MOVES BACK IN after college. So no, when they turn 18, you're not home free! lol
Someone mentioned that being in love changed her mind about having kids. I have been married with my husband for a few months now, and having done the, ahem, things that usually triggers that desire in women. Nope. Still no desire.
One man mentioned that he wouldn't want his wife to go through pain, so he'd like to adopt. That is so sweet! Actually, my husband is thinking of getting a vasectomy, but he wants to wait a few years to make sure I don't change my mind. And the reason is that I'm on medication that would hurt a baby, that I HAVE to take. If I find out I'm pregnant, I would have to stop the medication immediately - which is very dangerous. But weaning off the meds would take time, and expose the fetus to more of those chemicals. So yeah, we actually think that if we have children, adoption would be the best thing. But we haven't dogmatically ruled out having our own.
I'm adopted too. And I've met my birth mother - who I'm pretty much the opposite of in every way - but not my birth father. I would've like to know my birth father, because like the poster, I would want to know if I "take after" him. One reasons I don't want to have children is that it appears mental illness runs in my family: one brother committed suicide (I know that's not proof of mental illness, but it is evidence of clinical depression), my birth mother took meds I believe for anxiety and depression, I have the severe form of bipolar, and who knows what else. Having kids would mean passing it on, potentially, and bringing a life into the world that my genes would be responsible for causing him/her suffering - and I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did. Also, I don't know the future of my episodes - my illness could have a "break out" and I would be an unfit, maybe even dangerous, mother for a while. Yeah, that's the serious reason (and a good excuse) not to go through pregnancy. I'm sure women feel great bonding in pregnancy and it's a wonderful thing, but all I can think about is the negative - the vomiting, and out-of-control eating, and lack of mobility, the obvious one which is labor, etc. I know that's looking at it the wrong way, but you know something? If I found out I was pregnant, I know I'll probably think "Oh no, here we go." But I know I will also think "I'm carrying David's child - how beautiful is that?" And I'd think that because I love him so, and a part of him is inside me.
But yeah, one of the biggest motivators (and one of the most selfish) of not having kids is the independence and freedom. You don't have to know where one, two, or three little people are at all times. No fears of "losing the baby, forgetting where I put him/her." Go out the door whenever you like. No day care fees. Money that would usually go towards a baby, I can put it into savings or towards things I enjoy. Free to concentrate on other things, like going to school, writing a novel, or studying Scripture (I know people have still done those things with children, but every one of those people said it was VERY HARD). Ability to sleep through the night. I'm sure I could rattle off other excuses not to have children.
But I will accept my lot from God. If He blesses my womb, then He must think that I can handle it, you know?
