Do you think you're better off alone?

[BrittanyJones]

I don't get the sense the OP is talking about just our future mate as much as having people in our lives, which for me is Christian brothers and sisters.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Colossians 3

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
Romans 12

“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
Matthew 18

 

[Liamson]

I don't get the sense the OP is talking about just our future mate as much as having people in our lives, which for me is Christian brothers and sisters.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Colossians 3

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. 4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
Romans 12

“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
Matthew 18

Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Matthew 14:13 (after the beheading of John the Baptist) When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place….

Matthew 14: 23 (after the feeding of the 5000): After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.

Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Luke 4:42 At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place.

Pressed in on all sides by crowds, exhausting himself with teaching and healing, when Jesus needed rest he sought lonely places and the company of his Father alone.

If He is our example, why should we not take note of how he recharged his batteries?
Even God rested on the 7th day, after Creation.

Not all people are uncomfortable being alone. In fact some people NEED to spend time alone to recenter themselves, to talk with God, and to find peace.

 

[dmdave17]

Dear friends,

I am not single, haven't been for many years, so I was reluctant to get involved here, but I feel that I must put in my "2 cents" worth. I am sensing a lot of "worldly" thinking running throughout this thread. I believe that God does not intend for us to be alone. He made this clear as early as the book of Genesis, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” (Genesis 2:18)

The book of Acts describes the relationship of early believers as follows, "All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need." (Acts 2:44-45) And in Hebrews, the writer admonished his readers, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25-26, emphasis added)

I believe that the implication of these passages is clear; God designed us for companionship, not just with Him but with fellow human beings and believers. While He is able to fill most of our needs, He cannot substitute for caring relationships with other, like-minded people who share our beliefs and aspirations. If we were better off alone, there would really be no need for "the church".

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

God bless you all.

 

[Liamson]

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I'm not talking about Living like Gollum in a cave, stroking your ring perpetually content with yourself. I'm saying that when the world has left you feeling like a where's Waldo book, and you are the Waldo in your own life. Its good to take time and get away, before you feel completely smothered and lost in the crowd.

5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

My point in all of this is that sometimes, you really are better off finding a quiet place, where you can find your center, pray in peace and Hear the Voice of God.

For some, it is for a moment, for others it is for a month, for some it is for a season, and for some it is for as long as they need. Why not make an adventure out of it?

 

[buggeorge]

Hello All, I am new at this but I am not new at being a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, I have been reading some of the post you guys and gals have put up, and your conversations and replies to each other are very refreshing, Praise be to God for true fellowship the world will know us because we love each other.. keep it going I pray to jion in soon.... George

 

[buggeorge]

I think that if someone is like the apostle Paul and they are content with being single that this is Gods will for them then they should be single,
I have friends that are content with being alone.
My self though I would rather be with someone (so I think) but learning to lean on God and have fellowship with him is satisfying, I do have the want or need for companionship and I also believe that the Lord created us to not be alone I do long for a companion/ God loving wife etc..
is it just me ??

 

[et]

this is what i believe yes till God shows u the right girl or boy for you life

 

[Hellooo]

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

What I LOVE about the picture is what I loooove to do on piano...I live for pauses, holds, and breaks because you create way more intense, crazy dynamics, when you have bigger and faster moments. Stylistically, I like to interpret pieces way more dramatically than the original intent, and I find that relishing in those holds makes everything else quite grand.
I definitely value my singledom and alone time, like several of you have also mentioned. You get this great opportunity to really grow spiritually, and virtually free reign to really pursue the things you're passionate about...you don't have that opportunity your whole entire life. You can cultivate great friendships or family relationships, as evidenced by seoulsearch's previously mentioned experience with prision ministry and her friend. I thought that was pretty inspiring, personally.

Don't waste your singledom worrying about finding that better half...be your own whole person, seek God with all your heart...while we may not find happily ever afters, you just have to learn to make the best out of the situation you're in.


John 14.27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Matthew 6.25
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

I'm not into bungee jumping or spelunking or riding motorcycles, hats off to you adrenaline junkies, but I don't let being single deter me from going after those things I want to try or see. I hate to see people so consumed in finding a partner that they lose focus of their own identity in the process

Ill stop rambling while I'm ahead, I should be asleep.

 

[Snackersmom]

^^Yeah

As I told a young friend once: If you focus too much on the destination, you tend to miss out on the journey. Journeys can be pretty rewarding if you let them.

 

[Ritter]

It took me awhile to consider what's been said.

Well, it's better to marry than to burn. As for me, I see a fire on the horizon.

 

[LightningClap0002]

^^Yeah

As I told a young friend once: If you focus too much on the destination, you tend to miss out on the journey. Journeys can be pretty rewarding if you let them.

Glad to know you're at leasti trying to impart some wisdom to snackers... one day maybe he will change.

 

[Stephen63]

Dear friends,

I am not single, haven't been for many years, so I was reluctant to get involved here, but I feel that I must put in my "2 cents" worth. I am sensing a lot of "worldly" thinking running throughout this thread. I believe that God does not intend for us to be alone. He made this clear as early as the book of Genesis, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'” (Genesis 2:18)

The book of Acts describes the relationship of early believers as follows, "All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need." (Acts 2:44-45) And in Hebrews, the writer admonished his readers, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25-26, emphasis added)

I believe that the implication of these passages is clear; God designed us for companionship, not just with Him but with fellow human beings and believers. While He is able to fill most of our needs, He cannot substitute for caring relationships with other, like-minded people who share our beliefs and aspirations. If we were better off alone, there would really be no need for "the church".

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

God bless you all.

I don't think this is as much a "worldly" attitude as you stated.
My own personal opinion (it's just that, an opinion), I understand much of what's being said is some is looking for that special someone that they can open their hearts to, and others who would just like to have a like-minded friend where they can relax and be themselves.
Either way, it's getting more and more difficult to find a like-minded Christian friend. The "skin deep" point was well taken. More and more I find myself hiding at deeper levels behind a shield simply because I cannot trust the person I'm talking to. I don't think that good Christian people should be satisfied thinking there is no one else whom they can let my hair down with. When we do that, we become closed off from the world, but more importantly, from other Christians that need us and we need them.
From a married viewpoint, I'm just trying to say you singles are not in this boat alone. My wife and I, pastors of a church, cannot find like-minded fellowship anywhere. Even in leadership circles, there is no longer a like- mindedness to sit and have a cup of coffee with a friend where you can open your heart and speak your mind. I have, besides my wife, only one friend I've been able to do that with. And I'm slowly losing him to religious politics. Even now I find myself hiding behind a shield with him.
Remember, there are friends on CC, if you look hard enough, that you can let your hair down a little bit with. They may not be able to provide you with everything you need, but maybe they can help you through a dry spell.

 

[flight316]

The world is your burrito. Somewhere beyond Mad Horizon there is an adventure to be had. Once more unto the breach dear friends, once more. The game is afoot.

Ditch the mortgage, live on a Sailboat. Travel, explore, learn a language, go spearfishing, snorkeling and take lots of pictures.

Go on a missions trip <those can be ridiculously expensive.

I understand why people think they are better off by themselves. Or at least I think I do. Whenever I go looking for people to come with me on some crazy adventure, no one shows up. When I just go off on a crazy adventure, I always meet people who are willing to stay with me, follow me and share it.

There is something organic about being in the moment of doing something that you love. Something that draws people to want to experience it with you. Passion is contagious. So perhaps for now some of us are better off alone until we can be content with who we are and what we do when we are by ourselves. We expect someone else to fall in love with us but, we can't even enjoying hanging out with ourselves.

Become the kind of person you can't live without and you will probably find people who can't live without you.

I admire your sense of adventure, but to answer your question, I'm still trying to figure that out.