So in the Video He presents 3 characters... The Lover, Boyfriend Material, and Essentially "The Nice Guy"
From my experience, I agree with what he is saying.
A woman will sniff out the Lover and if she is not interested, she lets him go and he is neither better or worse for it. His intentions were far removed from his heart, so even if he was shot down, he lost nothing.
The nice guy is the guy who is calling and texting and Skyping and Chasing for a date. He has always been taught that a man chases a woman. But its having the opposite effect, the more he calls and texts and chases, the less she thinks of him. This is because he is trying so hard, it makes her think that he is desperate or clingy or needy or whatever. Even if he gets a date the relationship won't last, because she is not reciprocating, he doubles down and chases even harder. Then she breaks up with him, cause she feels smothered. (and because she feels above him)
Boyfriend Material guy has leverage. He's not just trying to win points or sleep with her. He wants to show her that he would make a good long term relationship. He is show and not tell. If he is going to say something meaningful, or share something important, he is going to be there for it. Also he invites her into his world, to experience it together, he doesn't chase her around in her own. The focus of the relationship, is not on her, its on having a shared experience together.
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Here is an example of the different intentions break down:
"Are you busy friday night, cause around 10 I was going to go out and have some fun and some beers.
" -The Lover
"Hey, Julie its Roger, I just want you to know that um, I mean if its okay with you, I mean if you aren't too busy or if its no big deal, we should get coffee or lunch or something. But if you're not free or whatever I would understand. And I'm flexible for anything, I mean I'll eat anything. lol (uncomfortable laugh). Anyways, I'll see you at church on Sunday, probably, I mean if you're going to be there." -The Nice Guy
"Hi, what are you doing for lunch tomorrow? We should get some Panda." -BF material.
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Biggest difference is that the focus is on the shared experience, with good intentions, its not by focusing on the other person.
Back in 2010 I made a YouTube video about this. About if a man tells a woman that she is beautiful and smart and sexy and blah blah blah, she might feel flattered but she doesn't necessarily feel anything toward him, unless he has given her a reason to feel all of those things. This is how men wind up in the Friend Zone.
A man simply cannot tell a woman that she is beautiful, he must make her believe it and she must be made to feel it even more when she is with him. So really even if a man worships a woman* if the relationship they have is not demonstrating it, really he is just a fan. And Fans go in the friend zone.
Which a guy can be a fan. He can be her biggest fan, he shoulder to cry on and her doormat. But we know that escape is improbable. We should turn it down or turn it off altogether because, no woman is going to want to date a guy who is 3 girls doormats, looking for a 4th or she might be jealous of the level of friendship he has with the other women.
"Oh Shelley and I are just friends, (cause I confessed my undying love to her last summer and she kept me around out of pity) yeah she helps me pick out toilet paper at Target and stuff." - The nice guy.
*Denotes place where Troglodytes might take offense.
