Dueling Roomies

[thimsrebma]

So i started another thread about me and my temporary roommate and it got me to thinking.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they faught with a roommate/parent/sibling/spouse over things that annoy you in the house? What happened? How did you react? Did the situation ever get resolved?

Example

Problem: Rommate leaves lights on because she is scared of the dark.

Resolution: I told her she couldn't do that. I may have hurt her feelings but I can't lose sleep and shouldnt have to pay a high electric bill because your grown behind is afraid of the dark.

My resolution may not be the best but this is how it has played out so far.

I will keep you updated in days to come.

 

[Stratocaster]

So i started another thread about me and my temporary roommate and it got me to thinking.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they faught with a roommate/parent/sibling/spouse over things that annoy you in the house? What happened? How did you react? Did the situation ever get resolved?

Example

Problem: Rommate leaves lights on because she is scared of the dark.

Resolution: I told her she couldn't do that. I may have hurt her feelings but I can't lose sleep and shouldnt have to pay a high electric bill because your grown behind is afraid of the dark.

My resolution may not be the best but this is how it has played out so far.

I will keep you updated in days to come.

I've lived with different roommates over the past six years. The biggest thing I've learned is to pick your battles wisely. It's very different living with a parent than living with an actual roommate. You and your roommate expect things to be done a certain way, so you have to start thinking about which of those things is actually important and what you can sacrifice in order to keep the peace at home.

With my old roommates, we had a big problem with dirty dishes being left all over the place. We kept having house meetings about it, and it only made things worse. We also quarreled over whether or not the air conditioning would be turned on during the summer. There was no good way to solve this; some of us were miserable without the A.C. on, and some of us were too cheap to pay for the higher bill. So we all moved out.

Really, the best way to deal with things is to ask your potential roommates about the things that are important to you and find compatibility with just those things, and settle with everything else. For me, I asked if they ran the A.C. and I saw that they were good at cleaning.

Sometimes though, your roommate has ridiculous requests, like leaving the light on at night. I think you handled the situation well.

 

[violakat]

What a former roommate and I did, was to make a contract agreeing to do certain things around the apartment. It made our lives a lot easier, knowing what was expected, and things were more likely to get done when they were suppose to.

 

[VikkiKate89]

So i started another thread about me and my temporary roommate and it got me to thinking.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they faught with a roommate/parent/sibling/spouse over things that annoy you in the house? What happened? How did you react? Did the situation ever get resolved?

Oh it happens all the time at my place. Last summer there was an all out war of all of us against just the one because he was dating a nasty woman who was a real jerk to all of us and had irritated us all to the point where we didn't want to go home anymore for fear that she'd be there. It took FOREVER to convince him that she was no good, and when he finally dumped her there was a long hearty celebration in the apartment... I think he resented us for that at first but eventually he looked back and said, "Man she was a huge mistake..."

The most recent battles we're dealing with though is my other roommate Scully who has this annoying state of mind that if he has a problem it officially needs to be everyone's problem. For example he noticed that the coffee HE left out in the coffee pot for several weeks had some interesting lifeforms growing in it and yelled at us for making coffee and not drinking it, then went on a long rant about how we need to be better about throwing stuff out when it goes bad. A) None of us drinks coffee and judging by how long that pot sat there I'd dare to say he doesn't either. And B) We're getting yelled at for what he did? Really?

It used to be worse when he had his dog living with us because then we were getting yelled at for everything she did too. But he's moving out finally in August so that problem will pretty much solve itself.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

So i started another thread about me and my temporary roommate and it got me to thinking.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they faught with a roommate/parent/sibling/spouse over things that annoy you in the house? What happened? How did you react? Did the situation ever get resolved?

Example

Problem: Rommate leaves lights on because she is scared of the dark.

Resolution: I told her she couldn't do that. I may have hurt her feelings but I can't lose sleep and shouldnt have to pay a high electric bill because your grown behind is afraid of the dark.

My resolution may not be the best but this is how it has played out so far.

I will keep you updated in days to come.

Why dont you just shut your door at night while you sleep. That way the lights being on wont bother you.

You could tell her, if she wants the lights on then ask her to pay half of your electric bills while she is living there. I'd say that's a good compromise.

Who cares if she gets up ten times a night to get water and go to the bathroom. I do the same thing. I mean When you gotta go you gotta go. (saw you put that as a problem in another thread )

You told her she could stay with you, the least you could do is try and compromise here. It kinda sounds to me like your being a bit unreasonable and harsh.

She may be afraid of the dark because something very bad may have happened to her when she was in the dark. There has to be some kind of reason. Why dont you ask her.


Im usually pretty easy going, and i like compromise. As long as someone stays out of my way when i first wake up, im good to go. I love the whole theory of dont sweat the small stuff, because really in the scheme of things, all of this is very very small stuff.

 

[zeroturbulence]

She can get a nightlight. They only use about 10 watts. A 7-watt nightlight run every night for a year will only cost about $2 a year in electricity @ 10 cents per kilowatt hour (thats about average rate in the US).

 

[thimsrebma]

Why dont you just shut your door at night while you sleep. That way the lights being on wont bother you.

You could tell her, if she wants the lights on then ask her to pay half of your electric bills while she is living there. I'd say that's a good compromise.

Who cares if she gets up ten times a night to get water and go to the bathroom. I do the same thing. I mean When you gotta go you gotta go. (saw you put that as a problem in another thread )

You told her she could stay with you, the least you could do is try and compromise here. It kinda sounds to me like your being a bit unreasonable and harsh.

She may be afraid of the dark because something very bad may have happened to her when she was in the dark. There has to be some kind of reason. Why dont you ask her.


Im usually pretty easy going, and i like compromise. As long as someone stays out of my way when i first wake up, im good to go. I love the whole theory of dont sweat the small stuff, because really in the scheme of things, all of this is very very small stuff.

I don't want to make small problems into big ones. But I cannot sleep with light creeping under my door. She can't really chnge having to use the restroom but leaving on all of the lights after you use the restroom is ridiculous.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm also afraid of the dark (no joke) and I sometimes get up several times a night to use the bathroom or get a drink. I have a problem with my kidneys. I think the nightlight is still a good idea. Its not bright enough for you to notice it when your eyes are closed, unless its in your direct line of sight.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I don't want to make small problems into big ones. But I cannot sleep with light creeping under my door. She can't really chnge having to use the restroom but leaving on all of the lights after you use the restroom is ridiculous.

It's really all about compromise, You cant sleep with any light coming up under your door, she cant sleep in the total dark. There has got to be some kind of middle ground.

What you may think is ridiculous may not be to her.

 

[thimsrebma]

It's really all about compromise, You cant sleep with any light coming up under your door, she cant sleep in the total dark. There has got to be some kind of middle ground.

What you may think is ridiculous may not be to her.

And I agree with others about the nightlight thing. That way she has light in her room and I can't see it.

 

[Liamson]

So i started another thread about me and my temporary roommate and it got me to thinking.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they faught with a roommate/parent/sibling/spouse over things that annoy you in the house? What happened? How did you react? Did the situation ever get resolved?

Example

Problem: Rommate leaves lights on because she is scared of the dark.

Resolution: I told her she couldn't do that. I may have hurt her feelings but I can't lose sleep and shouldnt have to pay a high electric bill because your grown behind is afraid of the dark.

My resolution may not be the best but this is how it has played out so far.

I will keep you updated in days to come.

She is a grown behind woman. You should lay down the law and she should get her grown behind over it. I mean seriously, if the dark is such a big behind problem, why don't we all shudder in the dark. Tell her behind to buy a flashlight. This is the 21st century, the bills aren't getting any cheaper and some of that chunk of change better be coming out of her behind too.

 

[NukePooch]

I once had two roommates (first roach-infested apartment), one was a rock drummer who drummed constantly on everything. On the table, the car dashboard, air drumming...the other roommate was a guy who ONLY drove Yugos, ONLY ate fast food and smoothies, and stiffed me for 3 months rent because he was 'broke' when he was actually spending all his money restoring his sailboat.

My first roommate (college dorm) was a guy who ONLY owned/wore plain white t-shirts and blue jeans. He also listened ONLY to his Barry Manilow CD's and told me that it was 'unacceptable' for me to be allowed to watch his ENORMOUS TV that took up most of the wall of the dorm. He moved out 10 days later when he walked in after class and I was watching his TV...unacceptably, of course.

Is it any wonder I want to stay single?

 

[allforfun]

She is a grown behind woman. You should lay down the law and she should get her grown behind over it. I mean seriously, if the dark is such a big behind problem, why don't we all shudder in the dark. Tell her behind to buy a flashlight. This is the 21st century, the bills aren't getting any cheaper and some of that chunk of change better be coming out of her behind too.

I hope your future wife was never raped in the dark and doesn't have that fear.

Just saying...telling people to get with the times doesn't always help.

 

[djness]

I hope your future wife was never raped in the dark and doesn't have that fear.

Just saying...telling people to get with the times doesn't always help.

Or mayybe stubbed her toe in the dark, or broke a favorite dish but im sure throwing the rape card is a quick way to snuff any argument.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Or mayybe stubbed her toe in the dark, or broke a favorite dish but im sure throwing the rape card is a quick way to snuff any argument.

Most rape victims really are raped in the dark.

 

[allforfun]

Or mayybe stubbed her toe in the dark, or broke a favorite dish but im sure throwing the rape card is a quick way to snuff any argument.

Or mugged on the street, or had an accident in a car at night or just doesn't like it. I didn't mean it like that at all. I'm just meant compassion would be nice. "get over it" from a psychology major seems like an oxymoron.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Or maybe she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming like I do if I try to sleep with all the lights off. I'm not joking. I've been shot, stabbed and strangled in my dreams and they feel so real that I wake up screaming. It only happens if the lights are all off, but not every time, just sometimes. I don't know why I'm like this. When I was a small child I had very bad nightmares pretty much every night so it probably has something to do with that. I was never molested or anything, just beaten with my dad's belt a lot but I don't think that is why.

 

[djness]

Or mugged on the street, or had an accident in a car at night or just doesn't like it. I didn't mean it like that at all. I'm just meant compassion would be nice. "get over it" from a psychology major seems like an oxymoron.

Sometimes "get over it" is the actual clinical answer. But anyway that is getting off track

To the original poster, maybe wall timers would be of help, like putthe lights on timers. Some of the lights in my house turn on at6am and turn off at 1130 pm.

 

[countrylizb]

I don't want to make small problems into big ones. But I cannot sleep with light creeping under my door. She can't really chnge having to use the restroom but leaving on all of the lights after you use the restroom is ridiculous.

You could stuff a towel or something under the door.

 

[Liamson]

Allforfun, I'm sorry if I've offended your sensibilities but it was my attempt at making light of what Thimsrebma said earlier cause I thought it was funny.



In all seriousness, a night light might not be too bad.