Family advice

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Aroelofs

Member
#1
May 14, 2019
28
59
13
#1
My mom's extended family has been critizing me because I'm 25 and not seeing anyone, s
My aunt thinks I should be settling down and dating ( yes I want to ) but I can't find guys interested in me. 2nd she was teasing me because I was embarsed to talk about that conversation in genral.... I hate talking to people about romantic interests etc... Itts very private to me and a hurtful subject for me.
Prayers would just be appreciated
 
TamLynn

TamLynn

A heart at rest
#2
Nov 27, 2014
985
1,016
93
#2
People have opinions, and sometimes they feel the need to share them.
Don't let others opinions on what you should be doing right now as far a relationship goes discourage you.
Jeremiah 29:11 says that He knows the plans He has for you. Plans for good and not for harm. Plans for a hope and a future.
Will that future include a romantic relationship? Only Jesus knows.
I do know that if you put your trust in Him and surrender your desires to Him, as you walk in obedience, (and if you allow him to) He will heal your hurt and disappointment! ❤
 
Deade

Deade

Called of God
#3
Dec 17, 2017
16,724
10,530
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77
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#3
Aroelofs said:
My mom's extended family has been critizing me because I'm 25 and not seeing anyone, s
My aunt thinks I should be settling down and dating ( yes I want to ) but I can't find guys interested in me. 2nd she was teasing me because I was embarsed to talk about that conversation in genral.... I hate talking to people about romantic interests etc... Itts very private to me and a hurtful subject for me.
Prayers would just be appreciated
Click to expand...
I will pray for you, just keep Christ at the center of your life. :D(y)
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#4
Sep 17, 2018
3,671
2,889
113
#4
Perhaps you need to read the book Boundaries by Townsend/Cloud and learn how to handle ignorant, pushy people.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
24,914
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#5
"Single" is not "a problem that needs to be fixed." Your family seems to think it is.

Tell them (politely) to mind their own business and live their own lives. If you already have and that has not worked, tell them in a more blunt manner. If you have already tried that and it has failed to get through, ignore them and continue with life.

If they are persistent and hard to ignore... Well, at that point I'd start looking for a flamethrower. But that's just me.
 
Ruby123

Ruby123

Well-known member
#6
Mar 1, 2019
11,912
8,233
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#6
Your aunt may be trying to bring you out of your shell in that area. Maybe she feels like prodding you may push you into changing your circumstances. If you are embarrassed about talking about "romantic interests" maybe you should give it a go. You don't have to go into great detail but at the least it may help you to push past the awkwardness so that it is not an obstacle. I guess I am trying to say use the perhaps insensitivity of your relatives as an opportunity for growth.
 
A

Aroelofs

Member
#7
May 14, 2019
28
59
13
#7
Update to original post my aunt/ uncle who made said comes to me are critizing my sister about failing one college class and told my grandparents about so now everyone knows everyones stuff even though my sister wanted that kept between my mom and her
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#8
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
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#8
Aroelofs said:
Update to original post my aunt/ uncle who made said comes to me are critizing my sister about failing one college class and told my grandparents about so now everyone knows everyones stuff even though my sister wanted that kept between my mom and her
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Sounds like they're giving you plenty of reason to not talk to them about personal important things. So if they try to start something up again just give them a dirty look and say that's not something I'm going to talk about with you. And if they need a reason why tell them the blunt truth (they can't be trusted to keep your secrets and not gossip them all over) so honestly that they'll think twice about asking you for any honest opinions for quite some time.
 
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Aroelofs

Member
#9
May 14, 2019
28
59
13
#9
Thanks cinder for that. This true. This is why I keep my distance from them or try to, because now of! This my grandparents are coming to town ( 4.5 hours away ) to talk to my sister about why she's failed one stinking class
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#10
#10
Tell them that if they really want you to settle down, then they should help you find a good man to date. :giggle:
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#11
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
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#11
LittleMermaid said:
Tell them that if they really want you to settle down, then they should help you find a good man to date. :giggle:
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You only do that if you trust their judgement completely and think they know you well enough that they are capable of looking for someone you'd like instead of someone they'd like.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#12
#12
Aroelofs said:
Thanks cinder for that. This true. This is why I keep my distance from them or try to, because now of! This my grandparents are coming to town ( 4.5 hours away ) to talk to my sister about why she's failed one stinking class
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Sorry to hear they are doing that. Sounds like judgement and gossiping. I would second the recommendation on reading up on Boundaries.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#13
#13
cinder said:
You only do that if you trust their judgement completely and think they know you well enough that they are capable of looking for someone you'd like instead of someone they'd like.
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Yeah, I agree with this!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
24,914
8,167
113
#14
cinder said:
You only do that if you trust their judgement completely and think they know you well enough that they are capable of looking for someone you'd like instead of someone they'd like.
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Yep. Problem is they never do that. Matchmakers always look for people that suit their preferences and expect the person to fit your preferences too.

Which is why I always keep a flamethrower in good operating condition, just for dealing with matchmakers.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#15
Oct 1, 2013
594
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#15
I was in my 30's and my mom "pressured" me about me being single.
I told her I am much more less likely look for someone when being pressured into doing something due to my rebellious streak, especially when it comes to finding that life-long partner; she stopped.

Also, I tell people to back off unless they are willing to be responsible for divorce proceeding and all the cost that comes with it - marriage simply is not something you do because someone/societal pressure. You can't blame anyone but yourself later for rushing into it because it is your life after all and you will have to own up to it regardless of outcome.

Be strong and tell them next time that it's none of your business and mind your own business.
 
A

Aroelofs

Member
#16
May 14, 2019
28
59
13
#16
christian74 said:
I was in my 30's and my mom "pressured" me about me being single.
I told her I am much more less likely look for someone when being pressured into doing something due to my rebellious streak, especially when it comes to finding that life-long partner; she stopped.

Also, I tell people to back off unless they are willing to be responsible for divorce proceeding and all the cost that comes with it - marriage simply is not something you do because someone/societal pressure. You can't blame anyone but yourself later for rushing into it because it is your life after all and you will have to own up to it regardless of outcome.

Be strong and tell them next time that it's none of your business and mind your own business.
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This is true the cost of marriage is huge fincialy speaking. Anyways thanks for that.
I just have been having issues with the family lately ( which I'm thankful that I can talk to my theprist about with no judgement ) but yeah the 2 biggest things they get on my case about I still live at home at 25, and I'm single.
 
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