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Most of us, if not all, have the desire in our hearts to get married and I'm sure everyone can say that they have alot to offer their future bride/groom...and it gets a bit frustrating when you wait so long for someone to come your way, especially when absolutely nothing is happening in your life.
Some of us question God- "When Lord, why me, what do I have to do to get a partner...etc." My pastor always used to tell me that if there's a desire in your heart to get married then there is a partner out there for you. Marriage is God's idea and I'm sure that if He wanted you to stay single He would have taken that desires away. There are many people out there, and that have roamed the earth for centuries, that did not have the desire to marry...Paul, from the Bible, was one of them.
But coming back to the discussion topic...its great when you start courting/dating someone...that feelings of longing to see that someone are constantly there and you dream of the wedding day, the wedding cake, the honeymoon, the raising of your own family, etc. (yes, even guys do that). You have picnics and send her roses, she writes you poems, etc. And there's nothing wrong with feeling that way or doing those things, its part of who we are and many married people will tell you to keep the romance flowing for the rest of the marriage, but many will also tell you that love and fresh air alone is not what will keep a marriage together...
Meeting someone and having strong feelings from your heart for them is a wonderful thing , but have you ever considered if it would be beneficial going into a relationship with this person. Most of us go in using our hearts but not our heads; in fact we choose not to listen to our reasoning as our hearts blind us because we have fallen for this person. We ignore the tell-tale signs and get drawn deeper and deeper into their world until we only realise it when its too late, so we’re stuck in a relationship that shouldn’t have happened and now it has to be broken up, which means you have to go through months and maybe even years of heartache...and funny enough after a long time we land in the same situation again. Did you know that 80% of marriages fail not due to adultery, but because of finances...just thought I’ll put that in there. Common things people usually find out too late is that their partners are: abusive, lazy to get work, anger issues, history of cheating, non-emotional, liars, etc.
To try and prevent this know what you want and have the patience to wait for it...you don’t want to go in circles. I always say that I may not know exactly what I want but I do know what I don’t want. Ask test questions when dating someone to see what’s in their hearts. Ask them about there relationship history, church life, family, work, etc. Don’t ignore the red flags...remember that where there’s smoke there is fire. Don’t fall for the “sympathy” card, i.e. when a woman/man plays with your emotions, eg: “No one loves me now you don’t wanna date me too”, “If you don’t date me I will never get someone” “Another rejection...this always happens to me”, etc. Control your emotions and don’t be swayed or be manipulated by emotional blackmail.
Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great and so is marriage, no-one is perfect, fights will come and go between you and your partner, and every relationship you go in is a risk but be careful...follow your heart but use your head while you’re at it!!!
1 Corinthians 10vs23 says- "’Everything is permissible’—but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’—but not everything is constructive.”
Peace.
Some of us question God- "When Lord, why me, what do I have to do to get a partner...etc." My pastor always used to tell me that if there's a desire in your heart to get married then there is a partner out there for you. Marriage is God's idea and I'm sure that if He wanted you to stay single He would have taken that desires away. There are many people out there, and that have roamed the earth for centuries, that did not have the desire to marry...Paul, from the Bible, was one of them.
But coming back to the discussion topic...its great when you start courting/dating someone...that feelings of longing to see that someone are constantly there and you dream of the wedding day, the wedding cake, the honeymoon, the raising of your own family, etc. (yes, even guys do that). You have picnics and send her roses, she writes you poems, etc. And there's nothing wrong with feeling that way or doing those things, its part of who we are and many married people will tell you to keep the romance flowing for the rest of the marriage, but many will also tell you that love and fresh air alone is not what will keep a marriage together...
Meeting someone and having strong feelings from your heart for them is a wonderful thing , but have you ever considered if it would be beneficial going into a relationship with this person. Most of us go in using our hearts but not our heads; in fact we choose not to listen to our reasoning as our hearts blind us because we have fallen for this person. We ignore the tell-tale signs and get drawn deeper and deeper into their world until we only realise it when its too late, so we’re stuck in a relationship that shouldn’t have happened and now it has to be broken up, which means you have to go through months and maybe even years of heartache...and funny enough after a long time we land in the same situation again. Did you know that 80% of marriages fail not due to adultery, but because of finances...just thought I’ll put that in there. Common things people usually find out too late is that their partners are: abusive, lazy to get work, anger issues, history of cheating, non-emotional, liars, etc.
To try and prevent this know what you want and have the patience to wait for it...you don’t want to go in circles. I always say that I may not know exactly what I want but I do know what I don’t want. Ask test questions when dating someone to see what’s in their hearts. Ask them about there relationship history, church life, family, work, etc. Don’t ignore the red flags...remember that where there’s smoke there is fire. Don’t fall for the “sympathy” card, i.e. when a woman/man plays with your emotions, eg: “No one loves me now you don’t wanna date me too”, “If you don’t date me I will never get someone” “Another rejection...this always happens to me”, etc. Control your emotions and don’t be swayed or be manipulated by emotional blackmail.
Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great and so is marriage, no-one is perfect, fights will come and go between you and your partner, and every relationship you go in is a risk but be careful...follow your heart but use your head while you’re at it!!!
1 Corinthians 10vs23 says- "’Everything is permissible’—but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’—but not everything is constructive.”
Peace.
