For laughs - What you Don’t Want to Hear On A First Date

[GodIsSalvation]

So Jesus' death on the cross is enough to cover every sin, EXCEPT for divorce (unplanned pregnancy, etc.)? In that case, tough cookies.

Or maybe being truly Christ-like is to literally become a father to the fatherless, to redeem a bad situation rather than condemn those in it.

Is this what I said or what you said?

Have I condemned you or have you condemned yourself?

 

[Fenner]

My wife would like me home by 10.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Yep, I nailed it the first time around. Your intentions seeped through even the small amount of text you wrote. I know for certain the tone of your voice when you resort to saying "How knowest thou the tone of my voice."


Here's a tip from one (occasionally) legalistic Christian to another - tone it down a bit. You're ignoring the entire concept of grace and forgiveness here. Hyper legalism only leads to stress and (in many cases) has a correlation with children who ultimately end up rebelling in a big way and spouses who are miserable.

What are my intentions? Have I not made plain my intentions that I am unmarried and do not wish to commit adultery?

Where have I ignored the concept of grace and forgiveness?

Is it not fair for one, such as myself, that is unmarried to not wish to marry one who is all ready married?

What are your intentions that you wish for me to commit adultery when I do not wish to?

 

[lil_christian]

Is this what I said or what you said?

Have I condemned you or have you condemned yourself?

Dude....just stop. It's a losing battle. You've already said what you think about single parents, regardless of how they got there. It's obvious it's the former, not the latter.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Dude....just stop. It's a losing battle. You've already said what you think about single parents, regardless of how they got there. It's obvious it's the former, not the latter.

Aye I said I do not wish to marry a single mom and gave my own personal reasons because they are married and I am unmarried.

Is this fair or not fair?

Why everyone think I should be one that marries a woman married to another man's wife?

 

[Jullianna]

Is it lawful for an unmarried man to marry a woman that is all ready married to another man?

1. This question has nothing to do with the definition of chaste, but I will answer nonetheless.
2. Christians are not under the law, but under grace. However, if you are asking about the laws of man, polygamy is illegal in the US (Your flag indicates you live there) in most states (for now), yes. Are you saying that divorced people are polygamists under the laws of the land?
3. Not everyone who has been married before still is. When a spouse dies, the surviving spouse is no longer married, either by man's law or biblically.

 

[lil_christian]

Aye I said I do not wish to marry a single mom and gave my own personal reasons because they are married and I am unmarried.

Is this fair or not fair?

Why everyone think I should be one that marries a woman married to another man's wife?

You're not obligated to marry anyone. What you ARE obligated to do is be Christ-like, meaning tactful and loving towards others, regardless of what stage of life they are in. God's plan might involve you marrying someone with kids, it might not. I get if they divorced someone on unbiblical grounds, but a lot of them have a legit reason on why they divorced. Even if they never married, God can redeem them. It's not about what they did, it's about who they are now and what Christ is doing in their lives.

 

[Jullianna]

Aye I said I do not wish to marry a single mom and gave my own personal reasons because they are married and I am unmarried.

Is this fair or not fair?

Why everyone think I should be one that marries a woman married to another man's wife?

There are ways of stating that without being unduly insulting to fellow believers.

 

[Fenner]

Aye I said I do not wish to marry a single mom and gave my own personal reasons because they are married and I am unmarried.

Is this fair or not fair?

Why everyone think I should be one that marries a woman married to another man's wife?

I don't think anyone expects you to be a person that marries someone who has been married before and has children, maybe just be a little more open minded about it. I understand personal preferences, you're young and you still have many women to chose from who haven't been married and have kids. There are many here and in life that have had spouses who have done them wrong and been the one who has initiated the divorce. Or there are some who are widowed.

Someday you might find yourself in a situation where you meet someone with a child that is either divorced or widowed. If the divorce was initiated by the other person what's that person to do? Stay unmarried because their spouse chose to leave? I wouldn't stay unmarried. I would just say as someone who is now 44 and was once 25 and thought I knew exactly how I would do things, don't jump to a conclusion until you can honestly say, you'd been there.

 

[ServantStrike]

What are my intentions? Have I not made plain my intentions that I am unmarried and do not wish to commit adultery?

Where have I ignored the concept of grace and forgiveness?

Is it not fair for one, such as myself, that is unmarried to not wish to marry one who is all ready married?

What are your intentions that you wish for me to commit adultery when I do not wish to?

I take it then that you are the first man alive to never find yourself condemned by Matthew 5:27-28

27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.




Remember when you go casting stones, you're going to get brained.
John 8
And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, [SUP]4 [/SUP]They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
[SUP]6 [/SUP]This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.





Look, if someone made mistakes before they found Christ, I'm saying we should cut them some slack. If someone claims they are a Christian and gets divorced without adultery or abuse involved it's an entirely different situation. There is forgiveness to be had, but steering far far away romantically would be a good course of action.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

1. This question has nothing to do with the definition of chaste, but I will answer nonetheless.
2. Christians are not under the law, but under grace. However, if you are asking about the laws of man, polygamy is illegal in the US (Your flag indicates you live there) in most states (for now), yes. Are you saying that divorced people are polygamists under the laws of the land?
3. Not everyone who has been married before still is. When a spouse dies, the surviving spouse is no longer married, either by man's law or biblically.

1. I believe it have everything to do with the definition of chaste.

2. Aye I do believe it is polygamy to be married to more than one spouse

3. How can one that is married not still be married? It is true you may marry a widow and that is no sin, but you must remember she is still married to her previous husband. For me personally, even in the event I would outlive a spouse I personally would not wish to marry another woman, but I am not condemning those that do. I am saying it is not for me.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

"Hey I just met you, and I am lazy. I want your paycheck, cuz I have babies"

 

[Jullianna]

1. I believe it have everything to do with the definition of chaste.

2. Aye I do believe it is polygamy to be married to more than one spouse

3. How can one that is married not still be married? It is true you may marry a widow and that is no sin, but you must remember she is still married to her previous husband. For me personally, even in the event I would outlive a spouse I personally would not wish to marry another woman, but I am not condemning those that do. I am saying it is not for me.

Please copy and paste the part of my post or the definition in the link that refers to the legality or illegality of marriage.

I can't speak for anyone else's marriage vow, but the one I took before man AND God said "until death do we part", meaning the marriage ends at death.

Fortunately for the human race, we are not governed by what you would like. You are needlessly injuring fellow believers. No one has an issue with the choices you are making for yourself. It's your spiteful generalizations that are so incredibly damaging.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Matthew 5:7

 

[ServantStrike]

1. I believe it have everything to do with the definition of chaste.

2. Aye I do believe it is polygamy to be married to more than one spouse

3. How can one that is married not still be married? It is true you may marry a widow and that is no sin, but you must remember she is still married to her previous husband. For me personally, even in the event I would outlive a spouse I personally would not wish to marry another woman, but I am not condemning those that do. I am saying it is not for me.

I'm literally slack jawed at how incredibly insensitive you were just then, whether you knew it or not. You picked the last regular on this forum you should have said that to.

I'm going to just sit back and watch this train wreck unfold. I will say one thing though - the bible never mentions anything about being married to someone who is no longer living on this side of heaven. Follow the train of thought and see that's a euphemism because I'm not going to add to the pain you may have just inflicted.

 

[ServantStrike]

"Hey I just met you, and I am lazy. I want your paycheck, cuz I have babies"

So call me, maybe?

[video=youtube;QF7DFlIv9qQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF7DFlIv9qQ[/video]

 

[GodIsSalvation]

I take it then that you are the first man alive to never find yourself condemned by Matthew 5:27-28

27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.




Remember when you go casting stones, you're going to get brained.
John 8
And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, [SUP]4 [/SUP]They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
[SUP]6 [/SUP]This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.





Look, if someone made mistakes before they found Christ, I'm saying we should cut them some slack. If someone claims they are a Christian and gets divorced without adultery or abuse involved it's an entirely different situation. There is forgiveness to be had, but steering far far away romantically would be a good course of action.

Did I say to stone those that have committed adultery or did I say that I myself am unmarried and wish not to marry someone that is married?

Who is doing the stoning here?

Have not I been told that I should marry a woman that is all ready married on this thread?

Have I not been told I am ignorant because I desire Chastity, Loyalty, and Honesty in a potential spouse?

Have I not been told that I am judgemental for saying I wish to remain chaste for a chaste woman?

Have I not been triple-face palmed for quoting the Scripture?

Have I not been told that I do not believe in Jesus because I believe in Jesus' Words?

Have I not been told my intentions are not good for quoting the scripture?

Have I not been told I am fighting a losing battle because I refuse to accept to marry one whom is all ready married?

Have I not been told I am insulting because I do not wish to marry a woman all ready married?

I forgive ye because I love thee, but please; who is doing the stoning?

 

[rachelsedge]

So call me, maybe?

[video=youtube;QF7DFlIv9qQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF7DFlIv9qQ[/video]

That was...mesmerizing.

 

[Jullianna]

Here lies what was once common decency and common sense. Let's move on, folks. Nothing to see here.



Just pray and keep moving

 

[ServantStrike]

Did I say to stone those that have committed adultery or did I say that I myself am unmarried and wish not to marry someone that is married?

Who is doing the stoning here?

Have not I been told that I should marry a woman that is all ready married on this thread?

Have I not been told I am ignorant because I desire Chastity, Loyalty, and Honesty in a potential spouse?

Have I not been told that I am judgemental for saying I wish to remain chaste for a chaste woman?

Have I not been triple-face palmed for quoting the Scripture?

Have I not been told that I do not believe in Jesus because I believe in Jesus' Words?

Have I not been told my intentions are not good for quoting the scripture?

Have I not been told I am fighting a losing battle because I refuse to accept to marry one whom is all ready married?

Have I not been told I am insulting because I do not wish to marry a woman all ready married?

I forgive ye because I love thee, but please; who is doing the stoning?

As iron sharpens iron so one brother sharpens another, or at least tries to.


Tell me now, and be honest, you've never run afoul of Matthew 5:27-28?

 

[ServantStrike]

Here lies what was once common decency and common sense. Let's move on, folks. Nothing to see here.

View attachment 75015

I think they did each other in. It was one of those murder-suicide pacts, like please and thank you.