For the men: So you want a gf/wife huh?

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Y

yoej_ogart

Guest
#61
The original posters argument is so full of rediculous ideas it is insane. What i have noticed in young people, especially girls in this day and age, is that they place way too much emphasis on this whole church thing, don't people realize that even if you have a group of people meeting in your house every week that is a church? Why in the world would a girl tell us men that to be worthy of a wife we need to make sure to go to church every sunday when most of the churches these days is backwards and liberal????.

Find me a church that tells the parents of the children that we need to take our kids out of the public schools that are brainwashing our children with liberal ideas. Find me a church that teaches to the young and old women alike that their first priority is to the kids and husband and to stop the obsession with careers and college which is helping brainwash our young female generation. Find me a church that stops obsessing over missionary trips and charities when they wont even deal with basic biblical principles in their own congregation, such as homosexuality and females in leadership. We are teaching people that it is ok to use drugs to help with depression when in fact we should be relying only on God for our mental well being.

And another huge issue is our youth. Show me in the Bible where music was ever used as a tool for ministry? Where did this new age term "music ministry" come from? Yet we are using rock and roll music and culture to try and bring the young people into the church.

Dude, you are so right!
 
Y

yoej_ogart

Guest
#62
Im just saying... Good luck finding a church. I think you should complain less and instead of demanding things you're going to be hard pressed to find, if you want to change the world or your country the first place to start is your attitude and your community in that order. And if you find a lot of people up against you for what you want to achieve thats when you join the Amish.

Women are never impressed by men who twiddle their thumbs and do nothing while complaining.
Actually, my church believes in exactly what Hawkfan said. I know, it's pretty hard to find a decent doctrined church now a days. But Amish? Wow
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#63
yeah, im with these guys. I think women should all just shut up and wait to be told what to do.
 
C

ChristianGuru

Guest
#64
that's a valid point. Guys with issues and insecurities is usually because they feel they can't meet up to what they think a christian girl would expect or want of them. Which is why women with lower standards seem more attractive. I personally find girls who don't go to church regularly more attractive, just because they are human and like to watch the news on a sunday morning or something. I couldn't stand a girl who drags you to church every sunday just because you have to go.
Keepin' up with the joneses as they say. I guess that's why some guys feel they have no breathing room within a relationship with a christian woman. I recall being 13 and worried about what a Christian girlfriend might think about all the rated-R action movies I have at home, lol. I better get my car loaded up with christian music "WOW" and get "Facing the Giants" and "Passion of the Christ" on DVD or Blu Ray. Imagine my shock years later to discover one Christian woman fluent in E!, tons of horror movies on DVD and MTV on 24/7.

Still, I'll always be...

"To straight edge for the world and to worldy for the church." - I always say
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#65
yeah, im with these guys. I think women should all just shut up and wait to be told what to do.
Oh hush missy :) Submitting to a man as a woman doesn't mean that. Submitting to a man just means letting the man be a man. Let him act out on his role of a provider, supporter, defender, head of household etc. Some women just don't get it. They take that "I'm an independent woman" thing so far that they tell everyone "I don't need anyone!" and get offended when a man tries to help her in whatever way he can. The problem is, they want to be treated like men so badly, but once they are they start crying because they are not men. Women couldn't handle being treated like a man, so don't act like a man and you will be treated like a princess. Women need a soft touch in terms of how they are treated... men need a hard shove. It may not seem like a big difference at first, but it really really is.

Also, scripture clearly confirms the gender roles of a man and a woman, on top of the patriarchy of a family. Women are NOT to be the head of the household, but some women simply are so selfish they just desire that power, and they ruin relationships and marriages. You can be equal, but all things said and done, the man is the patriarch of his family. He needs that to even feel like a man. Women who don't let him take his place force him to start acting like a woman instead, since she wants to be so dominant and become the male role. This makes him seem like less of a man, her like less of a woman, and it kills attraction for one another. It also breeds bitterness.

My best advice for women like this is just to realize they are not alpha males. They can be alpha females, but treat men with respect and you will get it back. If you cannot respect men without giving "you are inferior" undertones, you will NOT get a real man's respect back. Take it or leave it.
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#66
Do you realize that in 1950 the divorce rate was 2.6 per 1000 population and the current is 4.0 per 1000 population and yes that is an increase but not as significant as people suggest. And as far as the reason for the large amount of older single people on big reason is because people have become disillusioned about marriage due to their experiences, world media, others opinions. And the world is degenerating all the time. Which is better a time when women married men that were horrendous to them, had mistresses, etc or a time where women have finally decided that they should hold out for so much better? Just because men because men have always done something (putting other things over God), doesn't mean its the way it should be. We as men need to stop whining about women's new desire for better husbands and just become better husbands.
I just did a quick google search for a few responses to this, and I can't find anything that comes even close to what you are saying. What I did find are some interesting things:

The Center has released total state and regional marriage and divorce numbers (not the same thing as rates) for the years 2000, 1999 and 1998.
The total numbers of U.S. divorces (excluding the non-counting states) reported finalized annually are 957,200 in 2000, 944,317 in 1999, and 947,384 in 1998.
The total numbers of U.S. marriages (
including those states) reported celebrated annually are 2,355,005 in 2000, 2,366,623 in 1999, and 2,267,854 in 1998. - The National Center for Health Statistics

I hope you look at the numbers. Half of all weddings in this time frame turn into divorces. HALF. Tell me that isn't a significant number? Your original statistics don't count the fact that the much older couples grew up in a time when marriage meant something and people still understood gender roles. Times have changed. The new generation of women are different.

Also, the average age of a marriage was at the age of 20 back in 1960. The average age now is 26. The women of today's generation also have had so many sexual partners by the time they get married that they are jaded, emotional messes. This is also not counting the huge amount of single moms out there. This is strictly the man's fault in lots of cases, but there are specific reasons WHY.

In the 1960s, women didn't just say "I need my jerk alpha male." They went for the best provider. The hardworking, dependable beta male got married. Nowadays, women go for the jerk alpha male, because they don't want a provider, they want the best "catch" on the market they can get. When the alpha male runs through her, he drops her right afterword because he refuses to settle down and lower his standards for that girl. It becomes a revolving door til she wakes up at an older age and says "I need a nice guy now who will take care of me." The problem is, the nice guy now has the power, and he is probably embittered by being rejected so much earlier in life. What he gets is to fix her emotional train wreck, possibly take care of another man's kids, and try to measure up to a dilluded image of a "real" man that the girl now possesses due to her emotionally scarred past encounters with the alpha males. What a deal?

Women want their cake and eat it too. Things don't work out that way though. That's my original point with this whole thing. Kiwi is young, so I can't expect her to realize all of the undertones with today's society, but they aren't good. Women being equal in society is perfectly fine. I'm not against feminism as it originally was meant to be. I am against the sexual revolution type feminism that made women better and men inferior and the huge implications that now follow because of it.

So why do I feel this way when I have no trouble meeting women like some might? It's because I see society today for what it is. It's a huge mess. I get hit on all the time by women who have been divorced, have multiple kids, and they think that it's ok. You women don't realize that I DON'T want to marry a girl who got divorced for stupid reasons and then obviously didn't respect her own marriage as a covenant with God. Some women truly did have bad experiences and divorce was the best option, but a lot of cases turned out to be the woman's choosing not his. It makes me fearful to even want to marry a girl based on how many horror stories you hear.

Want to know another good statistic Merridoc? You should have done better research :)


"No-fault divorce caused already-climbing divorce rates to jump further. As the preceding statistics reveal, divorce rates in America zoomed to new heights under no-fault. Though not all of the increase can be attributed exclusively to the changes in the law, a significant portion can. In a 1989 study by Justec Research in Virginia on the effects of no-fault divorce in 38 states, the findings revealed "very strong evidence" that no-fault increased divorce in eight states and "some lesser evidence" for increases in eight more. The study's author, lawyer and sociologist Thomas B. Marvell, concludes that "on the average, the no-fault laws increased divorces by some 20 to 25 percent." In none of the states studied did no-fault decrease divorce."

Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum, citing Thomas B. Marvell, "Divorce Rates and the Fault Requirement," Law and Society Review 23 (1989), p. 544. Cited in Bryce J. Christensen, "Taking Stock: Assessing Twenty Years of 'No Fault' Divorce", The Family In America, September 1991 , p. 4.



No fault divorce means you can divorce for anything and everything. If you'd like, I'll find evidence to prove that women are the initiators of divorces and breakups 2/3rds of the time. Oh liberalism/feminism has helped society in so many ways, right?
 
Jan 8, 2009
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#67
Well Benny Hinn's wife just asked for a divorce , no reason. I gather it's the woman who has the problem most of the time not the man. There's all these upstanding christian women in church and appear to be miss goody two shoes and wouldn't touch an R rated movie with a pole but they're also on the pill. Go figure.
 
M

mecoffee

Guest
#68
Hmm.. yea people want have gf / bf but the question is What For? is it for having fun? is it for status? Jesus will give u a gf or bf someday 'in His time'.. sometimes a lot of people so obsessed to have a gf / bf with 'what they want' like: i want an asian girlfriend or i want a bf who can play skateboard... But exactly that's maybe not God's want. What God's want is about character.. HE build me, you, gf / bf's character until He think we ready to meet each other. Character of what Jesus want in us is a tower for ourselves or maybe for our marriage.. This character is for Him.. if we get married Jesus want is serve Him together with character His built for us. So that's why Jesus want u still single.. He want us to be focus on him not just gf / bf thing... Focus on Him, serve Him.. Let Him build your character, Let Him build his / her character until Jesus decide to meeting u guys each other... Gbu peeps :)
 
C

ChristianGuru

Guest
#69
Well Benny Hinn's wife just asked for a divorce , no reason. I gather it's the woman who has the problem most of the time not the man. There's all these upstanding christian women in church and appear to be miss goody two shoes and wouldn't touch an R rated movie with a pole but they're also on the pill. Go figure.
Benny Hinn's a fraud. Reason enough to divorce him.

I definately agree with the miss goody two shoes statements. Very true.
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#70
Oh hush missy :) Submitting to a man as a woman doesn't mean that. Submitting to a man just means letting the man be a man. Let him act out on his role of a provider, supporter, defender, head of household etc. Some women just don't get it. They take that "I'm an independent woman" thing so far that they tell everyone "I don't need anyone!" and get offended when a man tries to help her in whatever way he can. The problem is, they want to be treated like men so badly, but once they are they start crying because they are not men. Women couldn't handle being treated like a man, so don't act like a man and you will be treated like a princess. Women need a soft touch in terms of how they are treated... men need a hard shove. It may not seem like a big difference at first, but it really really is.

Also, scripture clearly confirms the gender roles of a man and a woman, on top of the patriarchy of a family. Women are NOT to be the head of the household, but some women simply are so selfish they just desire that power, and they ruin relationships and marriages. You can be equal, but all things said and done, the man is the patriarch of his family. He needs that to even feel like a man. Women who don't let him take his place force him to start acting like a woman instead, since she wants to be so dominant and become the male role. This makes him seem like less of a man, her like less of a woman, and it kills attraction for one another. It also breeds bitterness.

My best advice for women like this is just to realize they are not alpha males. They can be alpha females, but treat men with respect and you will get it back. If you cannot respect men without giving "you are inferior" undertones, you will NOT get a real man's respect back. Take it or leave it.
I completely agree with this.
The hard thing is single Moms whose husbands have left them or died or whatever and they have to become the sole financial providers for their children, so by default this makes them the head of their family. This is very hard and lonely cos theres no support. And they become battered because theyve had to recieve spiritual attack as the head but cannot handle it like a man can.

I heard the verse "Men care and respect your wives as they are the weaker vessal" as described as this: A man is like a titanium thermas. It can handle being dropped and battered because of its layers of insulation which make it strong and it can contain hot liquid thats good for you. A woman is more like a crystal goblet. Precious and beautiful. Its shape actually improves a bouquet when good quality wine is poured in it. But when dropped can smash. A thermas and a goblet both have pros and cons about them. Neither is better than the other. But at the end of the day which one can hold being battered more by Satan. This is why God made men as the leaders, so that they can be the lead fighter in protecting their family spiritually from attack.

Btw, Im not saying a woman cant protect herself spiritually. Women have the right to wear the armour of God and fight with his sword just as much as men do. Just that men are innately built to be warriors.
 
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Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,570
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#71
How do I figure out whether I'm an alpha male or a beta male?
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#74
Hahaha nice.

Based on that:

1. I'm not an alpha male.
2. Alpha males will die alone and lonely.
They usually do die alone and lonely lol. I guess they have their heyday early on, while the beta males actually get married and do their best to make it work. That probably bodes well for people that post on here asking how to get a g/f, although I think bitterness might creep in after too long. That's what I worry about the most. Maybe not, because I think I'm jaded simply because of how many relationships I've had compared to not have had. What I would give to be naive enough to love a girl so easily now... ahhh!
 
D

DABEARS85

Guest
#75
I completely agree with this.
The hard thing is single Moms whose husbands have left them or died or whatever and they have to become the sole financial providers for their children, so by default this makes them the head of their family. This is very hard and lonely cos theres no support. And they become battered because theyve had to recieve spiritual attack as the head but cannot handle it like a man can.

I heard the verse "Men care and respect your wives as they are the weaker vessal" as described as this: A man is like a titanium thermas. It can handle being dropped and battered because of its layers of insulation which make it strong and it can contain hot liquid thats good for you. A woman is more like a crystal goblet. Precious and beautiful. Its shape actually improves a bouquet when good quality wine is poured in it. But when dropped can smash. A thermas and a goblet both have pros and cons about them. Neither is better than the other. But at the end of the day which one can hold being battered more by Satan. This is why God made men as the leaders, so that they can be the lead fighter in protecting their family spiritually from attack.

Btw, Im not saying a woman cant protect herself spiritually. Women have the right to wear the armour of God and fight with his sword just as much as men do. Just that men are innately built to be warriors.

It's nice to finally be able to agree with you on something!! :D
 
Jan 8, 2009
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#76
Are ALL men built to be warriors? I find it hard to believe that men are created to be warriors when God designed Adam to originally live in peace and harmony. In fact compared to the animal kingdom, humans are designed rather poorly for fighting. No sharp claws, no sharp teeth, no hard outer shell or skin or leather. Being bipeds - slow moving, unbalanced and generally lacking the same muscle to body fat ratio as many predator animals. Without a rock or a gun or a stick a human would survive rather poorly.
 
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Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,570
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#77
Personally I think my body was perfectly designed for sitting in a comfortable chair and signing documents all day.
 

Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,570
24
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#79
The pen is mightier than the sword.
LOL.

So there's different types of warriors. I'm an office warrior. I fight other men with paper and ink.

Think of a librarian. He is charged with defending his fortress of books from the rampaging masses.

Or a salesman. He weakens other men by taking their money.
 
Jan 8, 2009
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#80
A garbage collector - defending our society from the perils if poor hygiene, the rat infestations and the plague.