Ok this happened more than 10 years ago - long before I became a christian. I was having a bad day at work and it was a time in my life when I was really tired of living. It seemed like all I ever had were bad days. Something wierd happened on my way home from work that made me really angry inside because I felt like I was being spiritually attacked and it had been going on for several days. I always believed in God and the spirit realm. Anyway, when I got home I was so upset and just wanted the world to end. I cried and shouted into my pillow asking God why he was being so unfair to me and I asked him to please kill me. Actually, I yelled into my pillow with all my strength asking God to please kill me. Right after I did this, I suddenly felt a warm energy come over me. Its hard to explain. It started in my legs and moved up to my head and it felt like a warm, vibrating energy and when it hit me I felt this amazing sense of calm and peace like I had never felt before...or since. I now believe it was either the hand of Jesus comforting me or the Holy Spirit. It was so shocking that I just lay there with my eyes open for several minutes wondering, "What in the world did I just experience?? Was that God? That had to be God!" From then on I felt like there was definitely someone out there who cares for me. Someone I can't see, but is very very real.