How hard is it now days to get married?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
8,787
3,226
113
#21
the not-western world is sad because so many people have died due to wars and famines, that they kinda need to replace the population.

aside from China, which has had population control for decades. In NZ there is not even enough housing for new families. You need to be a millionaire to buy a house.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
1,130
507
113
#22
Why Ask singles about how hard it is to get married? It would be better to ask married people that question, because they have experience in getting married. Just my take on it.

This world looks crazy right now. The last thing I would want to do is get married.

I'm asking questions like.....

What country looks the safest?
How am I gonna survive this?
Is this the end times?
What should I do to prepare for the future?

O.k. let's just say, you find someone to marry?!?!

Here are some questions to ask....

What happens if we get divorced, will I go bankrupt?
Can I afford kids?
Can this relationship last a life time?
Who benefits most from this relationship?
Do we share common values?
How do you see the marriage relationship in the future?
Am I willing to go the distance, if the relationship goes sour?
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
552
235
43
#23
Why Ask singles about how hard it is to get married? It would be better to ask married people that question, because they have experience in getting married. Just my take on it.

This world looks crazy right now. The last thing I would want to do is get married.

I'm asking questions like.....

What country looks the safest?
How am I gonna survive this?
Is this the end times?
What should I do to prepare for the future?

O.k. let's just say, you find someone to marry?!?!

Here are some questions to ask....

What happens if we get divorced, will I go bankrupt?
Can I afford kids?
Can this relationship last a life time?
Who benefits most from this relationship?
Do we share common values?
How do you see the marriage relationship in the future?
Am I willing to go the distance, if the relationship goes sour?

Not trying to be argumentative but singles trying to get married, finding out first hand how easy/hard to get married should provide better feedbacks to the Op's inquiring mind. Personally, I think this is a better time to get married because of what is going on in this world - it will reveal people's true heart, character, and where they stand, thus better opportunity to observe what they are really made out of. And... if you are willing to marry in this time of "craziness," perhaps that's a good indication of how much two love each other.

While I do get questions where you calculate the "costs" of having children and whatnot, if you are asking questions like:

- what happens if we get divorced, will I go bankrupt
- who benefits most from this relationship
- am I willing to go the distance if the relationship goes sour

then I think you are not ready for it.

I find the following quote by Erich Fromm captures well what love is in a non-biblical way:

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee,
to give oneself completely in the hope that
our love will produce love in the loved person.
Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.


Personally speaking, if you aren't ready to give all for him/her, might as well stay single because there is no other way.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
1,130
507
113
#24
Not trying to be argumentative but singles trying to get married, finding out first hand how easy/hard to get married should provide better feedbacks to the Op's inquiring mind. Personally, I think this is a better time to get married because of what is going on in this world - it will reveal people's true heart, character, and where they stand, thus better opportunity to observe what they are really made out of. And... if you are willing to marry in this time of "craziness," perhaps that's a good indication of how much two love each other.

While I do get questions where you calculate the "costs" of having children and whatnot, if you are asking questions like:

- what happens if we get divorced, will I go bankrupt
- who benefits most from this relationship
- am I willing to go the distance if the relationship goes sour

then I think you are not ready for it.

I find the following quote by Erich Fromm captures well what love is in a non-biblical way:

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee,
to give oneself completely in the hope that
our love will produce love in the loved person.
Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.


Personally speaking, if you aren't ready to give all for him/her, might as well stay single because there is no other way.


I appreciate your response. You are correct, marriage isn't for me, but tried to participate in another marriage topic.....lol

Get married, if you want to. Stay single, if you want to. Everyone gets to decide in the free world.

Marriage has a divorce rate of 50%, so I think my questions are valid. You should talk to my neighbor who is divorced, he might change your mind on whether or not my questions are valid, or not.

1605998929953.jpeg
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
552
235
43
#25
I appreciate your response. You are correct, marriage isn't for me, but tried to participate in another marriage topic.....lol

Get married, if you want to. Stay single, if you want to. Everyone gets to decide in the free world.

Marriage has a divorce rate of 50%, so I think my questions are valid. You should talk to my neighbor who is divorced, he might change your mind on whether or not my questions are valid, or not.

View attachment 222922

I do get what you are saying - it has become harder to find success story (or only the failed marriage story makes the news), and I believe the divorce rate is different for Christian couples (I know there are contradicting numbers out there regarding the divorce rate within Christian community but do believe it is significantly lower). They do make you look and think again about the possibility of marriage. But wha I've also learned is not to place them in my life, don't let them influence you but rather place my hope and faith in God and hopefully I do my part faithfully. Thank you for sharing.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
8,787
3,226
113
#26
most singles have no intentions of getting married otherwise they would.
its only the very young people who are already coupled up but cant get married so they are fornicating that you need to ask