How quickly should one forgive?

[Wonderland]

I did my thesis on forgiveness. This is good stuff!

From a counseling standpoint, there are 4 stages to forgiveness. A person does a lot of "emotional work" before the true freedom of forgiveness actually happens. I think a desire to forgive and be free from the poisen of resentment is what God desires from us. In actuality, the moment of "true forgiving" could take months or even years... with the need for forgiveness "boosters" from time to time.

Of course, it all depends on the person, the circumstances, and their life experiences. Forgiveness comes much easier to some than others.

 

[Henry_YZ]

As soon as you can actually do it. Forgiving someone isn't just saying it, but actually letting go of the anger and other feelings. But one should strive towards forgiving fast, rather than keeping a grudge.

 

[hikerki]

True forgiveness is something that can only happen when I have a heart of forgiveness. Even though in my mind I want to (and know I am called to) forgive quickly, I cannot always do that. My heart needs to be in it. I have learned that the longer I hold the anger and hurt the harder it is to forgive, because the anger and hurt turns into hatred. Hate is an ugly thing with a long healing process. Forgiveness is needed to continue and complete the healing process and live according to God's word. One cannot truly heal without forgiveness.