How should i explain bad christian behavior?

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Liz01

Guest
#1
#1
Hi, i really need help here because i dont know what to say.
I was talking the other day with a friend and he was telling me that all the christian ppl that he has known have a very bad behavior and with that he loses faith, I know that faith is not about others but its a personal relationship with God, but it seems that the bad actions of christians is making him trip over.

But how can i explain to him that there are real christians out there if i dont know so many real christian ppl and for example the woman that i work with use to work in church and knows very good the bible but she is cheating her husband? what should i say ? how can i explain that?

I see to my friend so disapointed but i dont really know what to say to make him believe that that faith in God makes life of a person different, good and with a big value?
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#2
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#2
Be more specific. Show him the bible and where it says how a person is suppose to live. YOU be the example in their life.
 
J

just_ed

Guest
#3
#3
sometimes christians mess up or do bad things that are totally out of character. this is pretty normal stop on the path to spiritual maturity, and honest christians will feel bad about their mistakes and demonstrate remorse. other people claim the title christian without even caring about what they do is right or wrong. some people try to say that it is impossible for us to determine who is or isn't a ''true'' christian (the ''no true scotsman'' fallacy), however christ himself gives us this litmus test:

''By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'' (John 13:35)

tell your friend that this is how he can determine if someone is a deeply devoted follower of christ.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
So often we look to other people, especially other christians, to set the standard of behavior when we should be looking at Christ. I would just explain that we all make mistakes and are works in progress. We're saved, not perfect. :)

(Though I do realize that some people don't seem to fully understand how precious grace is and trample on it at will...)
 
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Liz01

Guest
#6
#6
yes, thanks, youre right, we are humans and make mistakes
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#7
#7
Tell them the only perfect person in the world is Jesus Christ, that we are trying to be like Him but we fall short. God doesn't expect us to move mountains by our own strength but for us to have faith in Him to answer our prayers. we are to try our best and if our best is not good enough, to ask God for help. Sometimes people forget to ask for help from God and try to do it by their own strength.
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#8
#8
In recent threads, there have been a number of discussions about Christians and churches that "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk". I have been calling them "CINO's", as in "RINO's". I don't know whether that is original, but it seems appropriate.

I believe that you need to make your friend understand that not everyone who calls him/herself a Christian is really saved. A person can attend church for many years without truly accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Explain that when he sees someone like that, he should not draw the conclusion that all "Christians" act that way. If you belong to a Bible-believing church where the people are loving and supportive, try to get him to come with you so he can see how true Christians behave.

Also, as has been suggested, you can use Scripture to show him what true believers aspire to. You could start with Romans 13, verses 8 to 10, "...for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not covet, and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." This is the guiding principle of all true Christians.


 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#9
Something is wrong if he is losing his faith based on what other christians are doing. That shows that he does not have a strong personal relationship with God and does not have a good basic understanding of salvation. A Christian''s faith should not be swayed by the bad examples of other christians. That is a lack of fatih in Jesus Christ who promises to never forsake, to never abandon, and promises eternal life for the one who endures til the end (Matthew 24:13).

This is from Psalm 91 that shows how and why a Christian's faith should hold up under any circumstance:

You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge—
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

Psalm 91 (5-16 NIV)
 
Thomas60

Thomas60

Banned
#10
Jun 20, 2010
401
1
0
35
#10
Give him a slap from me for weak reasoning :), my christian friends 'as a group' are representing themselves really well (I guess you should be proud of them), but I don't plan that being a reason for gaining faith.

X has Y belief, X behaves contrary to Y belief .. therefore: Y belief causes X behaviour?
His sample size doesn't really help either.
Just some support from me :)
 
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J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#11
#11
Matt 7:21 would "explain" most of America
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
 
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Liz01

Guest
#12
#12
dmdave17 said:
In recent threads, there have been a number of discussions about Christians and churches that "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk". I have been calling them "CINO's", as in "RINO's". I don't know whether that is original, but it seems appropriate.

I believe that you need to make your friend understand that not everyone who calls him/herself a Christian is really saved. A person can attend church for many years without truly accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Explain that when he sees someone like that, he should not draw the conclusion that all "Christians" act that way. If you belong to a Bible-believing church where the people are loving and supportive, try to get him to come with you so he can see how true Christians behave.

Also, as has been suggested, you can use Scripture to show him what true believers aspire to. You could start with Romans 13, verses 8 to 10, "...for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not covet, and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." This is the guiding principle of all true Christians.
Click to expand...
thanks! i will try this
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#13
#13
zeroturbulence said:
Something is wrong if he is losing his faith based on what other christians are doing. That shows that he does not have a strong personal relationship with God and does not have a good basic understanding of salvation. A Christian''s faith should not be swayed by the bad examples of other christians. That is a lack of fatih in Jesus Christ who promises to never forsake, to never abandon, and promises eternal life for the one who endures til the end (Matthew 24:13).


(5-16 NIV)
Click to expand...
yes, youre right, despite my friend grew with christian values, is very recently that he tried to be near to God, so his faith seems to be weak, in the begining of growing
 
superdave5221

superdave5221

Senior Member
#14
Jul 28, 2009
1,409
31
48
#14
Liz01 said:
Hi, i really need help here because i dont know what to say.
I was talking the other day with a friend and he was telling me that all the christian ppl that he has known have a very bad behavior and with that he loses faith, I know that faith is not about others but its a personal relationship with God, but it seems that the bad actions of christians is making him trip over.

But how can i explain to him that there are real christians out there if i dont know so many real christian ppl and for example the woman that i work with use to work in church and knows very good the bible but she is cheating her husband? what should i say ? how can i explain that?

I see to my friend so disapointed but i dont really know what to say to make him believe that that faith in God makes life of a person different, good and with a big value?
Click to expand...
Hey Liz,

That is a real problem with Christians, because we are not perfect. We all do things at times that set bad examples for the world. However, we should not be judged by one or two mistakes, but by our overall lifestyle and habits.

We should stress what God has done for us, and not what we do for Him. When we make mistakes, we need to repent, and God will forgive us. We also need to confess our sins to other brothers and sisters in Christ, so that we can have help with our problems, and to be held accountable to each other. We have a High Priest (Jesus) in heaven propitiating our sins before the Father. We know that we are in need of a Savior to save us, because we can't do it ourselves. The world needs to know this as well.
 
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Liz01

Guest
#15
#15
thank you very much to all, your advices help me a lot :)
 
E

ElBo

Guest
#16
#16
Not all Christians are saived. Its not enough just to say - Jesus, Jesus. Explain to ur friend that only Bible is the right instruction to follow. No other people can be a good example - because all are weak. Those will be saved who agrrees with the facts of their sins and keeps struggling for purity of minds and hearts.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#17
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
11
0
51
#17
Liz01 said:
Hi, i really need help here because i dont know what to say.
I was talking the other day with a friend and he was telling me that all the christian ppl that he has known have a very bad behavior and with that he loses faith, I know that faith is not about others but its a personal relationship with God, but it seems that the bad actions of christians is making him trip over.

But how can i explain to him that there are real christians out there if i dont know so many real christian ppl and for example the woman that i work with use to work in church and knows very good the bible but she is cheating her husband? what should i say ? how can i explain that?

I see to my friend so disapointed but i dont really know what to say to make him believe that that faith in God makes life of a person different, good and with a big value?
Click to expand...

How do you explain *bad christian behavior??* By living a life that shows good christian behavior.

It is proven that It takes 10 possitive things to wipe out one negative thing. I don't know if that is our sinful nature or what...but it seems to be the way our minds and hearts work. Esspecially those who feel hurts deeply.
Sounds like your friend has been hurt and has not seen enough possitives to tip the scales.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#18
#18
I'd be prone to say..WELL DUH! But that wouldn't be very spiritual.

I think we really need to get in folk's shoes and see why they are saying what they're saying about Christians. Why do they feel that way?

Maybe instead of a silver bullet come back, you can try to really get in their shoes and see why they're feeling that way.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#19
#19
*hides her shoes*
 
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