I don't want to get married.

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laoshanlung

laoshanlung

Senior Member
#1
Apr 21, 2015
122
17
18
#1
As stated above, I really don't like the concept of getting married. I know that it's normal to do so, and that many married people are happy with their marriages. But... I'm kind of scared of the responsability, hardship and stress that come with it. Plus, I don't think I'd ever have the strength to provide or care for a wife and children, especially in the case of the children. Is it bad that I don't want to get married? I've asked my mother this question before, and she acts like I'd be throwing a huge part of my life away. Is that really true!?
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#2
#2
Lao, you're only 16. I remember at 16 I was thinking the same thing. Ten years later I do want to get married and have children, if it's the Lord's will. Don't worry about it. You are way too young to be thinking about that. I'm glad that you're not interested in it for now. You need to get your career going before you can marry someone and provide. Life is much easier that way.

A lot of my friends got married young and had children in their teens. Life didn't turn out too great for them. They struggle a lot, especially financially and emotionally. I'm not saying all of them, but for the most part.

Also, not everyone is supposed to get married. It's Biblical. Maybe you are going to be one of those people. Either way, don't worry. You are still a teenager. Enjoy life for now. You have a long time to think about all that. :)

I also wanted to tell you to develop your relationship with the Lord right now. The younger, the better. Read the Word and study it. Talk to him and lean on him for support and understanding.

Blessings!
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#3
#3
No, there's nothing wrong with it. Many societies still hold onto the traditions of marriages and even within the western world it can be expected. But if you find yourself happy and not hold the burdens of marriage and children then more power to you. Often times when seeing older people with no kids or a marriage, they often seem more youthful in appearance and personality. Like the other person said, you're only sixteen and still have plenty of time to think over this subject. But to directly answer your question, no, it is not bad.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
#4
laoshanlung said:
As stated above, I really don't like the concept of getting married. I know that it's normal to do so, and that many married people are happy with their marriages. But... I'm kind of scared of the responsability, hardship and stress that come with it. Plus, I don't think I'd ever have the strength to provide or care for a wife and children, especially in the case of the children. Is it bad that I don't want to get married? I've asked my mother this question before, and she acts like I'd be throwing a huge part of my life away. Is that really true!?
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16 is really far too young to be making that type of decision. Marriage is a big decision to be made carefully and prayerfully.You cant possibly make that decision now. If the time ever comes you will be old enough and mature enough to make it.Dont worry about it now. :)
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#5
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#5
Neither would I say that it's bad to not want to get married nor would I say that it's right to want the opposite. All I can say is that it is perhaps too young to think about such a major life-changing commitment at this point.

When I was 18, I was in a relationship with a girl who was my childhood crush. Life was a bed of roses and I couldn't wait to be done with college, land a job and get married to her. Now I am 27, and my life is very different from what I imagined it to be. I am putting away the thought of marriage because there are other other priorities in my life which have to be sorted out now - my career, my spiritual life and my finances.

Give it time, buddy. You will find that everything will change once you start becoming independent. Most of all, if you believe that God is in-charge of your life, things will fall into place at the right time. :)
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#6
#6
The apostle Paul actually exhorts unmarried, unattached believers to stay single if they can, as it allows them to focus completely on serving the Lord. When one is married, he states, one must also be concerned with the well-being of one's spouse, which divides your attention and resources. (He does state, however, that if you are inclined to burn with desire, that there is nothing wrong with being married, either.)

So, at least according to Paul, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to get married.

I would also add my two cents to Molly's response - she is quite correct. While you may feel that you are certain as to what you want now, at the incredibly young age of 16, you will be surprised to find how your viewpoints and desires can change in 20, 10, 5, even a single year!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#7
Aug 13, 2014
25,102
8,251
113
#7
Also how they change when you meet someone...

Right now I don't want to get married. If I meet a lady I want to marry, that will change. Wanting to get married just because "I need someone else in my life" is the wrong reason. Too many people get desperate to find a partner and settle for way less than they desire or deserve.

And don't let ANYONE tell you that you should marry when you don't want to.
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#8
May 25, 2015
6,119
821
113
#8
laoshanlung said:
As stated above, I really don't like the concept of getting married. I know that it's normal to do so, and that many married people are happy with their marriages. But... I'm kind of scared of the responsability, hardship and stress that come with it. Plus, I don't think I'd ever have the strength to provide or care for a wife and children, especially in the case of the children. Is it bad that I don't want to get married? I've asked my mother this question before, and she acts like I'd be throwing a huge part of my life away. Is that really true!?
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Your mindset might change. Being in high school is great, because you are developing who you are and what you're all about for adulthood. Some ideas and opinions will change throughout this time.

However, if you find yourself at 26 and still don't want to be married, I have thing to say to you:

I. Think. That's. Great.

Who says you have to be married and who says you need to have that desire? No one. To each his own. It's okay for you not having a desire to be married. Just, enjoy life. Find out who you are, fall deeper in love with Christ, and allow yourself to develop into the person you were meant to be. Your opinions and thoughts will come and go throughout life and that's completely okay.
 
Utah

Utah

Banned
#9
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#9
Marriage?

RUN FORREST! RUN!
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#10
#10
Wish I was 16 again...back then of course.
I would make sooooo many changes!
Don't rush marriage...I hope your family or friends are not pushing this button for you.
You need to learn who you are, find your calling, etc.
Life is too complicated to jump in living someone else's idea/plan, don't do it...Ask the Lord. Follow him. And follow your heart, with wisdom of course.
 
E

erikanutella

Guest
#11
#11
kaylagrl said:
16 is really far too young to be making that type of decision. Marriage is a big decision to be made carefully and prayerfully.You cant possibly make that decision now. If the time ever comes you will be old enough and mature enough to make it.Dont worry about it now. :)
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LAO at 16 i was still a papa's girl :p and now im 26 all im praying to God is that He will give me a Partner who will marry me and start my family :)

I agree on what kaylagrl said :)

God Bless You ^_^
 
G

Galahad

Guest
#12
#12
laoshanlung said:
As stated above, I really don't like the concept of getting married. I know that it's normal to do so, and that many married people are happy with their marriages. But... I'm kind of scared of the responsability, hardship and stress that come with it. Plus, I don't think I'd ever have the strength to provide or care for a wife and children, especially in the case of the children. Is it bad that I don't want to get married? I've asked my mother this question before, and she acts like I'd be throwing a huge part of my life away. Is that really true!?
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Marriage does require responsibility. But if you marry a Christian woman, you'll be with a helper. She's going to build you up, strengthen you many ways, as you will do the same for her.

Do want to move out on your own? You will have to work. You will have to pay for your housing, your health, your car. Whether you are single or not, you will have responsibilities.

Your mom apparently has had some positive experience with marriage in her life. I don't know all the facts. She's your mother, and she's a woman, so if she thinks there will be some loss in not being married, you might want to listen to her and not so much to your fears.

Throwing away a huge part of your life away? No. Not necessarily. What I suppose she means is she knows you and has every bit of confidence in you that you will be a great man and will have much to offer to a wife. She's not thinking along the lines of offering a wife a material stuff.

Wonder what your dad would say?

I think it's great you know and realize responsibility is part of marriage and having a family. That's commendable.

Okay, now school is in session. Get back to your homework.

Good post.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#13
#13
laoshanlung said:
As stated above, I really don't like the concept of getting married. I know that it's normal to do so, and that many married people are happy with their marriages. But... I'm kind of scared of the responsability, hardship and stress that come with it. Plus, I don't think I'd ever have the strength to provide or care for a wife and children, especially in the case of the children. Is it bad that I don't want to get married? I've asked my mother this question before, and she acts like I'd be throwing a huge part of my life away. Is that really true!?
Click to expand...

Paul in the Bible wasn't married...
That's the answer of my Mom when
I talked to her about singleness!
 
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