I like a guy who has a girlfriend...

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RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#21
yes I know the right answer to my own question, but it is hard to let him go. I felt like I met the one. I told my parents to pray for him. how silly I am.
:) How silly we all are
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#22
I understand that I do not want any one except him in my life. He is the one. and I will wait for him as long as it takes. I respect him and his relationship right now. I will grow as a christian and in my faith. God will help me somehow I know it.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#23
I understand that I do not want any one except him in my life. He is the one. and I will wait for him as long as it takes. I respect him and his relationship right now. I will grow as a christian and in my faith. God will help me somehow I know it.
I had a close friend with the same devotion to whom she thought she would marry. Without going into the details, it cost her dearly.

You have no right to claim this man; he is not yours. The only one you should cling to so tightly is Christ. To do otherwise is idolatry.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#24
thanks a lot! I love God more than anyone more than that guy and I need a good community. I am not jealous or something, but I think his gf is a really lucky girl. I thought that he is the one when I met him. all I want is that he will be happy. if he is happy with her, I am more than happy for him :) PS I hope that it is a bad joke or something. I just started to pray for us ( a week) and this situation happened. and I could not believe in it.
I'd like to suggest the possibility that if you had just started to pray about it, this might be God's answer. If so God is answering that he isn't the guy for you. The door is closed.

I understand that I do not want any one except him in my life. He is the one. and I will wait for him as long as it takes. I respect him and his relationship right now. I will grow as a christian and in my faith. God will help me somehow I know it.
I hope as time passes and you get past the infatuation this attitude of he's the only one I want will change. Please be careful about making declarations like " I'll wait as long as it takes", especially if you strive to be someone who lives up to your commitments such declarations can make it harder to move on when you're ready to.

But mostly I wanted to tell you a story about acting in a godly manner in a similar situation and what God did.
Back, actually it was back when I was about your age (no matter how much of an old geezer it makes me sound by saying it) there was a group of guys at my church that I hung out with a lot. One of them was just a really great all around guy. The strong silent type, but hardworking, respectful, came from a good stable family, just a really great guy. I developed a crush on him (though I didn't tell anyone about it), and then one night about 6 months after I'd met him, I was hanging out with some of the other guys in the group before a church event and they were talking about how he'd gone to meet this girl a week ago and was already saying he thinks he might want to marry her. Oh and she was going to be coming to church that night. Well I was somewhere between shocked and hurt. Mad at God a bit in a how could you do this to me way. And during the service God just asked me what if she was God's best for him and told me that I had to go meet her and welcome her. I told God in no uncertain terms that he was going to have to change my heart before I would dare even try to do that. He did, and she and I hit it off pretty quickly. At the same time I knew that the only right and decent thing to do was to be friendly but not try to interfere between the two of them, so that's what I did.

A couple months later, I was up at one of my favorite hiking spots. When I parked I saw his truck and immediately thought to myself "OK they're here, but I'm not going to look for them, I'm just going to go do my own thing." I didn't get more than about 3 steps away from my car before they came walking back to the vehicle to get something. We said hi and they insisted that I join them and hang out, so I did. And then I got invited back to his parents' house for supper (I went to church with the family so I already knew them). After that and for about the next 3 months (until I left town to go participate in an overseas program) I was hanging out with them about every other week after church and we became good friends. They did get married. I attended the wedding, and I still say that for me their wedding was the wedding that put the holy in holy matrimony.

Fast forward 8 years since the wedding. I realize how much better suited she is to him than I ever would have been. I realize that I wanted something more than settling down into marriage at that point. I saw them become a couple that was so "spiritual" that it was excessive and would have driven me crazy. And I'm not at all sorry that I never dated him or that things ended up the way they have. His mother is like a second mother to me, I've stayed at his sister's house several times and she is one of my closest and most trusted friends. As for the two of them, I haven't heard from them in several years, but I would still call them friends and I think they would say the same for me. I've been really blessed by that family, and I am quite sure that had I not conducted myself in a Godly manner I wouldn't have those blessings today.

All that to say keep going strong and looking to God. He can bless you through this disappointment more than you ever imagined, but so much depends upon walking out godly character (and that's one thing God is always willing to help you develop more of).
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#25
I'd like to suggest the possibility that if you had just started to pray about it, this might be God's answer. If so God is answering that he isn't the guy for you. The door is closed.

All that to say keep going strong and looking to God. He can bless you through this disappointment more than you ever imagined, but so much depends upon walking out godly character (and that's one thing God is always willing to help you develop more of).

Thanks so much!!! it is a great story. God bless you
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#26
Just focus on the Lord, sister! Please don't intervene in their relationship. Think about it, if you get with him, you will always wonder if some other young lady will come over and intervene in your relationship. You wouldn't want another girl doing that in your relationship, would you?
Pray and read the Word and you will see that Jesus can give you the peace and happiness that you are looking for. If this is the man God has for you, he will come in Jesus' timing.
God bless you! :)
 
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skylove7

Guest
#27
Just remember...billions of people on the earth, and you like a man who loves another because.....? Yes I understand it hurts. But in time it heals. A good woman that is kind, caring, and loving definitley deserves love from one man! If he loves another, please for the sake of your heart, find another man. Don't have breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday in pain over this man. He has another woman. Its obvious he is not worried about you. Good luck in your true love search. Its out there. Praying will lead him to you. God bless you all.
 

jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
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#28
May I suggest journaling? I do not believe I've heard someone suggest this so far. A prayer journal, where you jot what you are thinking, or would like to say to God. Not only is this shown to be far more therapeutic than just talking or thinking it through, but you would be recording how you feel, in the moment, as the moment is passing.

Hold on to that journal. Read it later, after you are completely over him. Read it when you get married, if God has that for you. I have lots of entries of struggling with feelings over this dude or that dude... and when I go back and read them, I see lots of hurt, but not much justification for that kind of pain. I don't mean that it's not important, or not real right now, but as you go through life - and reviewing your journals time to time - you see how superficial or misguided some of your feelings were, even though in the moment you couldn't imagine anything else being more suited for you. You could have SWORN God spoke this, and this was His will - but turns out it wasn't.

And so, reviewing your history of limited perspective helps you remember that whatever challenge you face NOW, is also viewed through limited vision, albeit a more experienced one. To me, it's a reminder that we don't know it all, and that feelings really are fleeting and not as important or reliable as we think. And, you have some records of your walk with God; you can see your growth and that helps encourage you if you feel "stuck." Not saying journal everyday, but there are far more benefits to it than just letting it out, esp for a spiritual journey.
 

jamie26301

Senior Member
May 14, 2011
1,154
10
38
39
#29
NOTE: My last post is not a conclusion of the situation drawn from what you said - that it's not meant to be or something. I was only showing how over long term, journalling is beneficial.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#30
You have no right to claim this man; he is not yours. The only one you should cling to so tightly is Christ. To do otherwise is idolatry.[/QUOTE]


You do not know what you are talking about... you do not know me at all. I live by myself. my family live far away from me. Christmas and St Valentines day I usually spend with my cat. or I go volunteer these days. I am a very lonely person. I have not like anyone for the last 3 years, so this feeling is very precious. I love God more than anyone. it is just a feeling... Have you ever love someone?
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#31
I had a close friend with the same devotion to whom she thought she would marry. Without going into the details, it cost her dearly.

You have no right to claim this man; he is not yours. The only one you should cling to so tightly is Christ. To do otherwise is idolatry.
You do not know what you are talking about... you do not know me at all. I live by myself. my family live far away from me. Christmas and St Valentines day I usually spend with my cat. or I go volunteer these days. I am a very lonely person. I have not like anyone for the last 3 years, so this feeling is very precious. I love God more than anyone. it is just a feeling... Have you ever love someone?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#32
You do not know what you are talking about... you do not know me at all. I live by myself. my family live far away from me. Christmas and St Valentines day I usually spend with my cat. or I go volunteer these days. I am a very lonely person. I have not like anyone for the last 3 years, so this feeling is very precious. I love God more than anyone. it is just a feeling... Have you ever love someone?
So maybe it's time to ask what you really want. Do you want to get over this infatuation (and yes sounds like it's infatuation not love) and move on or do you want to cling to the warm fuzzy feelings and daydreams about how wonderful it could be if only if only if only?

And yeah, disappointment stinks, but it is always your choice what you will do in response.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#33
You do not know what you are talking about... you do not know me at all. I live by myself. my family live far away from me. Christmas and St Valentines day I usually spend with my cat. or I go volunteer these days. I am a very lonely person. I have not like anyone for the last 3 years, so this feeling is very precious. I love God more than anyone. it is just a feeling... Have you ever love someone?
You shared a problem on a public forum; and as a more experienced and more mature believer, I took the time to share valuable insight with you. You don't have to follow my advice, but you would be wise to at least consider it.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#34
So maybe it's time to ask what you really want. Do you want to get over this infatuation (and yes sounds like it's infatuation not love) and move on or do you want to cling to the warm fuzzy feelings and daydreams about how wonderful it could be if only if only if only?

And yeah, disappointment stinks, but it is always your choice what you will do in response.

I want to move on. I am praying to away my feelings. I am going to find a different church in September and I do not want to meet him personally any more.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#35
You shared a problem on a public forum; and as a more experienced and more mature believer, I took the time to share valuable insight with you. You don't have to follow my advice, but you would be wise to at least consider it.
I am sorry Misty77. I appreciate your advice. God bless you and thanks.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#36
Oh,
I see..
Poor little thing!
Eh,
I'm 17 and my mom told me all
about relationship, christian, sex and stuff like that!
I'm able to stay virgin and single because of my mom and God!
I'm clever because I never had a boyfriend!
And I had full of bullied at school because
of my skin color, I have an eye who's bigger than the other eye...
I wear like 2 in my shoes because I have children feet!
And I'm not tall so I was rejected in School!
So don't be tempted by a ''guy''
In fact, humans are bull¨¨¨¨