If I'm going to be Single indefinitely, I should make the best of it...
- Thread starter Liamson
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I don't want to Monk it up. I just want to LIVE.
The first time I fell in love, I wasn't looking, I was LIVING. I was being alive.
And for too long, the thought of being adventurous without a Love, seemed lonely. Which is silly and ridiculous.
I need to quit living in the future and living in the past. Life is happening right Meow, right in front of my face.
I don't want to live cloistered off in my own library, hunting Unicorns from my laptop.
I used to go backpacking, fishing, exploring, cliff jumping or whatever I wanted to do. I haven't been that guy in years.
The first time I fell in love, I wasn't looking, I was LIVING. I was being alive.
And for too long, the thought of being adventurous without a Love, seemed lonely. Which is silly and ridiculous.
I need to quit living in the future and living in the past. Life is happening right Meow, right in front of my face.
I don't want to live cloistered off in my own library, hunting Unicorns from my laptop.
I used to go backpacking, fishing, exploring, cliff jumping or whatever I wanted to do. I haven't been that guy in years.
This was a good day for me to read this. Very inspiring.
The past few days, for various reasons, I was struggling with my singleness.
This morning I woke up, initially in my morning grump because my room is dark, my bed is warm, and the time I woke up was too early (in my opinion, though 7 AM isn't too bad for others). But once I got ready and went outside, the morning was so quiet, still, and beautiful. I thought to myself, "This day is God-given." And it had nothing to do with things that happened that day, because it was actually a rather stressful, patience-testing day at work, and it had nothing to do with my singleness or anything. It was because it was God-given. And that is how every day should be. (I don't know if that makes sense)
Then I read this thread later today, and I realized that I do many of the things you mentioned: I imagine life with someone, I spend my thoughts and energy trying to obtain something I don't have, or try to get the attention of someone who doesn't feel the same, and I just realized...I'm tired of that. I'm through with expending energy on imaginary things, on wishes, on worrying whether or not something will happen, or someone will notice. I am going to live life as if I wasn't waiting on someone to come along and "fulfill" it because that's just...kinda dumb, really. I mean, if someone does come along while I'm being myself, then great, but I'm not going to sit and pine and waste away in the meantime. I already feel more free and energized, just knowing that.
I feel like that was all over the place.
TLDR; Inspiring post, I relate, good job.
The past few days, for various reasons, I was struggling with my singleness.
This morning I woke up, initially in my morning grump because my room is dark, my bed is warm, and the time I woke up was too early (in my opinion, though 7 AM isn't too bad for others). But once I got ready and went outside, the morning was so quiet, still, and beautiful. I thought to myself, "This day is God-given." And it had nothing to do with things that happened that day, because it was actually a rather stressful, patience-testing day at work, and it had nothing to do with my singleness or anything. It was because it was God-given. And that is how every day should be. (I don't know if that makes sense)
Then I read this thread later today, and I realized that I do many of the things you mentioned: I imagine life with someone, I spend my thoughts and energy trying to obtain something I don't have, or try to get the attention of someone who doesn't feel the same, and I just realized...I'm tired of that. I'm through with expending energy on imaginary things, on wishes, on worrying whether or not something will happen, or someone will notice. I am going to live life as if I wasn't waiting on someone to come along and "fulfill" it because that's just...kinda dumb, really. I mean, if someone does come along while I'm being myself, then great, but I'm not going to sit and pine and waste away in the meantime. I already feel more free and energized, just knowing that.
I feel like that was all over the place.
TLDR; Inspiring post, I relate, good job.
This whole line of reasoning occurred to me....
How do guys who smoke pot and play video games with no job and no skills, consistently get girlfriends and women fighting over them and hanging out all the time?
I realized I was looking at it from the wrong perspective. The guys I'm talking about haven't really tried to BE anything, they just are what they are, the take care of what is important to them and whatever else strikes their fancy. They are not pretending to be anything and what you see is what you get.
Not that I would jump ship and head for weed infested waters but, maybe just maybe, I have been trying too hard for too long, that I lost who I am or why anyone should even want to be with me.
For those guys its easy. Women know exactly what they are getting into. Its a fun game where people meet the expectations of the group they are with. The values, the music, the lingo, the whole nine yards is all apart of the culture.
Like Liberals like being around Liberals. Conservatives like being around conservatives. Potheads like hanging out with potheads. Women who sell scentsy hang around women who buy scentsy. Artsy women hang around the Artsy scene. Hipsters are notoriously into being Hipsters. Rednecks seem to enjoy themselves with Rednecks.
But the same things that can be said of one group can be true of another. Each group has its lingo, its values, its music, its whatever that makes it culturally distinct.
Frankly Christian Mingle has made a killing, off of targeting the stereotypical Christian Culture person. Good for them I suppose. If they have found God's match for you, then by jobe, you've got nothing to worry about in that department.
But I'm not here to talk about Christian mingle. I'm here to talk about me. I don't really fit into the culture. In fact most Christians around the world don't either. (I would hazard to say that most people on CC don't either)
The odd thing is that I don't really want to fit in. I tried fitting in back when Jesus Freak came out, and then it was Take me to your Leader and then it was the Books... Wild at Heart, Captivating, a Purpose Driven Life, then Francis Chan stuff. And somewhere along the way, jumped off.
But thats Culture... it goes through Phases. Christians Collect C.S. Lewis books the way Football families collect Bill Walsh's "finding the winning edge" or the way that Hunter S Thompson is to counter culture.
But what drove me a little bit crazy is that to me Christianity was something I expected to find everywhere. If I went to the dark streets of Mexico City, I expected to find Christians and people who longed for Salvation. After all needy people are EVERYWHERE, literally. They are in every culture, every profession, every tax bracket and every city in the US, and in the world.
And to a degree my prejudices were confirmed BUT, the notable exception was that each place had different Christians. Yes Christ was our connecting thread but, they didn't care about all WWJD bracelets or the NOTW shirts. And I didn't realize it but in that epiphany I had simultaneously connected with Christians and yet I cut myself off of Christian Culture.
This whole thing comes full circle because, I don't fit in and people don't know what to expect from me. I'm not trying to fit in. And Frankly I don't even like Chris Tomlin's music or Whatserface Jobe or whatever thing is in now. I don't draw that artificial line in the sand that says Our Culture is special and everything that isn't us, is "Secular".
"Secular" its such a funny thing. "Denoting attitudes which have no religious or spiritual basis" Yet its the Buzzword that everything that doesn't fit, gets tossed into.
Is this a Secular Radio station? NPR, ESPN, BBC... Is Johann sebastian Bach a Secular Composer?
Can a Radio station be Christian or Saved or Ordained? Does it REALLY "Anoint the Airwaves with God's Love"
Is Christian Mingle CAPABLE of finding God's Match for you?
Does any of this leave a bad taste in anyone else's Mouth?
Like I'm being coerced into swallowing this pill which makes settling into the nice Christian home, with wife and kids and church and culture all neatly wrapped up. And this place has walls, private schools, home schools, segregated radio stations, Christianese, Tim Tebows and Popular books making the rounds.
How do I keep my God, and my faith, and not lose my mind over all of the commercialization of it all. Its like conflicting Values are raging a war inside of me.
Ambition Vs. Humility.
Ingenuity Vs. Social Cohesiveness.
"If you ever want to get married, you have to fit in again and play along. Settle down and don't stir the pot. You might just get a man cave out of it."
OR...
"You have to Do it without any Compromise, Prove that a person can break out of all this garbage and still have a life that is representative of God to show for it."
I guess, my point is that Pot Smokers don't have to pretend, to belong. I don't have to act like I'm enjoying singing Jesus is my boyfriend songs at church, but if I'm going to give all of it up, I'm going to do it with every intention of Success.
Because I know I'm not alone but, right now it sure feels like it.
How do guys who smoke pot and play video games with no job and no skills, consistently get girlfriends and women fighting over them and hanging out all the time?
I realized I was looking at it from the wrong perspective. The guys I'm talking about haven't really tried to BE anything, they just are what they are, the take care of what is important to them and whatever else strikes their fancy. They are not pretending to be anything and what you see is what you get.
Not that I would jump ship and head for weed infested waters but, maybe just maybe, I have been trying too hard for too long, that I lost who I am or why anyone should even want to be with me.
For those guys its easy. Women know exactly what they are getting into. Its a fun game where people meet the expectations of the group they are with. The values, the music, the lingo, the whole nine yards is all apart of the culture.
Like Liberals like being around Liberals. Conservatives like being around conservatives. Potheads like hanging out with potheads. Women who sell scentsy hang around women who buy scentsy. Artsy women hang around the Artsy scene. Hipsters are notoriously into being Hipsters. Rednecks seem to enjoy themselves with Rednecks.
But the same things that can be said of one group can be true of another. Each group has its lingo, its values, its music, its whatever that makes it culturally distinct.
Frankly Christian Mingle has made a killing, off of targeting the stereotypical Christian Culture person. Good for them I suppose. If they have found God's match for you, then by jobe, you've got nothing to worry about in that department.
But I'm not here to talk about Christian mingle. I'm here to talk about me. I don't really fit into the culture. In fact most Christians around the world don't either. (I would hazard to say that most people on CC don't either)
The odd thing is that I don't really want to fit in. I tried fitting in back when Jesus Freak came out, and then it was Take me to your Leader and then it was the Books... Wild at Heart, Captivating, a Purpose Driven Life, then Francis Chan stuff. And somewhere along the way, jumped off.
But thats Culture... it goes through Phases. Christians Collect C.S. Lewis books the way Football families collect Bill Walsh's "finding the winning edge" or the way that Hunter S Thompson is to counter culture.
But what drove me a little bit crazy is that to me Christianity was something I expected to find everywhere. If I went to the dark streets of Mexico City, I expected to find Christians and people who longed for Salvation. After all needy people are EVERYWHERE, literally. They are in every culture, every profession, every tax bracket and every city in the US, and in the world.
And to a degree my prejudices were confirmed BUT, the notable exception was that each place had different Christians. Yes Christ was our connecting thread but, they didn't care about all WWJD bracelets or the NOTW shirts. And I didn't realize it but in that epiphany I had simultaneously connected with Christians and yet I cut myself off of Christian Culture.
This whole thing comes full circle because, I don't fit in and people don't know what to expect from me. I'm not trying to fit in. And Frankly I don't even like Chris Tomlin's music or Whatserface Jobe or whatever thing is in now. I don't draw that artificial line in the sand that says Our Culture is special and everything that isn't us, is "Secular".
"Secular" its such a funny thing. "Denoting attitudes which have no religious or spiritual basis" Yet its the Buzzword that everything that doesn't fit, gets tossed into.
Is this a Secular Radio station? NPR, ESPN, BBC... Is Johann sebastian Bach a Secular Composer?
Can a Radio station be Christian or Saved or Ordained? Does it REALLY "Anoint the Airwaves with God's Love"
Is Christian Mingle CAPABLE of finding God's Match for you?
Does any of this leave a bad taste in anyone else's Mouth?
Like I'm being coerced into swallowing this pill which makes settling into the nice Christian home, with wife and kids and church and culture all neatly wrapped up. And this place has walls, private schools, home schools, segregated radio stations, Christianese, Tim Tebows and Popular books making the rounds.
How do I keep my God, and my faith, and not lose my mind over all of the commercialization of it all. Its like conflicting Values are raging a war inside of me.
Ambition Vs. Humility.
Ingenuity Vs. Social Cohesiveness.
"If you ever want to get married, you have to fit in again and play along. Settle down and don't stir the pot. You might just get a man cave out of it."
OR...
"You have to Do it without any Compromise, Prove that a person can break out of all this garbage and still have a life that is representative of God to show for it."
I guess, my point is that Pot Smokers don't have to pretend, to belong. I don't have to act like I'm enjoying singing Jesus is my boyfriend songs at church, but if I'm going to give all of it up, I'm going to do it with every intention of Success.
Because I know I'm not alone but, right now it sure feels like it.
J
We talked about the marketing of Christianity years ago, Liamson. Finding Christ at the local bookstore (rather than in His Word and presence in our lives) or by wearing the latest catch phrase t-shirt is not going to cut it any more than scuba diving in the heart of Jesus waiting for Prince SuperChristian will improve our love lives. I would rather get to know Him myself than read the words of a stranger who might or might not.
It is right to chuck playing church and seek the Savior. It is right to stop being a pew sitter and become a disciple. It is right to stop hiding from life and start living it. It is right to stop living for some day and be alive in the now.
Proverbs, James, Matthew and Paul all tell us that we don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, save our security in Christ. We have today and the cares of each day are more than enough. The rest we trust to Him or we don't.
You know me, my friend. I say jump in with both feet and on the flip side it will have been a heckuva ride.
It is right to chuck playing church and seek the Savior. It is right to stop being a pew sitter and become a disciple. It is right to stop hiding from life and start living it. It is right to stop living for some day and be alive in the now.
Proverbs, James, Matthew and Paul all tell us that we don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, save our security in Christ. We have today and the cares of each day are more than enough. The rest we trust to Him or we don't.
You know me, my friend. I say jump in with both feet and on the flip side it will have been a heckuva ride.
This morning I woke up, initially in my morning grump because my room is dark, my bed is warm, and the time I woke up was too early (in my opinion, though 7 AM isn't too bad for others).
S
Yes. And no. Like many composers of the day, he wrote music that was sacred (music written specifically for religious functions) and music that was secular (music that was not specifically purposed for religious functions).
That's how we define secular in the historical music perspective. ^_^
Just to be a clown and throw it out there.
That's how we define secular in the historical music perspective. ^_^
Just to be a clown and throw it out there.
No its totally kind of where I was going.
Seriously.
We live lives that are not so different from Bach's composition. And when we can realize that Christianity happens both inside and outside of the traditional places, when we expect it and when we don't, when we can recognize it and when we can't, there is much to life beyond the bubble of Christian Labels.
P
I found that seeking what is Real, genuine, authentic, away from Christianese has led me away from the church. I find that seeking God is real when it's me and Him. Talking, listening and praying. Speaking one on one to other Christians. I feel as though I am settling for a brand of Christianity that is less than what I have on my own.
J
I've talked with a number of pastors about this very thing lately. Some had been pastors of megachurches, where it had become more about numbers, people pleasing, having a hipster worship leader and an unmanageable number of programs than sharing Christ. A watered down gospel. Where is the power in that?
It was a blessing to hear how energized they'd become at this revelation.
We need to pray for those in leadership in the church. Pray that God would speak to them. Lift them up and encourage them. They must get so discouraged and tired dealing with people who are more concerned with what type of music is being played and what color the seats are than whether truth is being shared or that the Body of Christ is doing what it has been called to do while we are still here. It's crippling.
The Church was not called to stumble around in darkness. We need to rise and walk. That means we need to, as my militarized stepdad woulda said, "get off our butts and on our feet". Live.
I know it's corny, but if love is only a noun, what value is there in it? Love for the Lord. Love for others. Love for life. Even romantic love. Something to share, not just talk about or dream about.
[video=youtube;o7qi2KlUffs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7qi2KlUffs[/video]
It was a blessing to hear how energized they'd become at this revelation.
We need to pray for those in leadership in the church. Pray that God would speak to them. Lift them up and encourage them. They must get so discouraged and tired dealing with people who are more concerned with what type of music is being played and what color the seats are than whether truth is being shared or that the Body of Christ is doing what it has been called to do while we are still here. It's crippling.
The Church was not called to stumble around in darkness. We need to rise and walk. That means we need to, as my militarized stepdad woulda said, "get off our butts and on our feet". Live.
I know it's corny, but if love is only a noun, what value is there in it? Love for the Lord. Love for others. Love for life. Even romantic love. Something to share, not just talk about or dream about.
[video=youtube;o7qi2KlUffs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7qi2KlUffs[/video]
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