I'm not a poet and I know it

[AzureAfire]

Okay....you're asking for more ridiculous from me huh??? XD EN GARDE!!! >o<;

Roses are red
Like the bugbite
On my back, itching
Irritating since Friday last

Violets are blue
Like the bruise
On my right elbow
Violently swollen since
I forgot when

I don't know how
To give life, unless
It comes with
Wires, pluggable to
Empty electric sockets

I don't think i could inspire
Anything good, unless
By good, you actually mean
Incredibly crazy
Then, i'd have a ball
Watch out, and don't get hit!!!

Chaos and strife
That sounds like fun!!!
Like feeding coins to
Garbage disposal units
Will metal chips end up
Flying, or will there be
Glittery confetti?
(i wish!)

Haven't tried smothering
Yet.
Thanks for the idea!!!

You can have the crown.
When it goes on sale
After i wear it
After i win this

 

[Descyple]

Okay....you're asking for more ridiculous from me huh??? XD EN GARDE!!! >o<;

Roses are red
Like the bugbite
On my back, itching
Irritating since Friday last

Violets are blue
Like the bruise
On my right elbow
Violently swollen since
I forgot when

I don't know how
To give life, unless
It comes with
Wires, pluggable to
Empty electric sockets

I don't think i could inspire
Anything good, unless
By good, you actually mean
Incredibly crazy
Then, i'd have a ball
Watch out, and don't get hit!!!

Chaos and strife
That sounds like fun!!!
Like feeding coins to
Garbage disposal units
Will metal chips end up
Flying, or will there be
Glittery confetti?
(i wish!)

Haven't tried smothering
Yet.
Thanks for the idea!!!

You can have the crown.
When it goes on sale
After i wear it
After i win this

Irritating bug bites? Swollen elbows? Garbage disposal units? This competition is going to be much tougher than I thought!!!

 

[Descyple]

After just two of your poems
I'm tempted to concede
The crown of worst poetry to you
So my pride will not bleed

You've bested me with length of verse
And I've been duly eccentrified
If I said you haven't rose to the challenge
I would have clearly lied

But who am I kidding?
I can't give up without a fight
So prepare for part two of my bad prose for you
Feel the wrath of my poor poem delight

(actually I don't have part two written yet, so please ignore that specific line for now - lol).

 

[AzureAfire]

Irritating bug bites? Swollen elbows? Garbage disposal units? This competition is going to be much tougher than I thought!!!

Well, well, well...is it whining that i hear in the air??? XD

I haven't eaten yet, by the way. So my brain is most probably running on ketone bodies instead of sugar (it's a crappy energy source, but apparently, it works wonders here? XD)

You do know that i am crazy, right, Descyple? XD my insane mind has all sorts of objects floating here and there. But i think you are insanity waiting to happen yourself! Don't hold back now!!! (why can't i stop encouraging you?!? XD)

Come on, give me your best shot!!! >o<; ROWWRRRR!!!

 

[Descyple]

Well, well, well...is it whining that i hear in the air??? XD

I haven't eaten yet, by the way. So my brain is most probably running on ketone bodies instead of sugar (it's a crappy energy source, but apparently, it works wonders here? XD)

You do know that i am crazy, right, Descyple? XD my insane mind has all sorts of objects floating here and there. But i think you are insanity waiting to happen yourself! Don't hold back now!!! (why can't i stop encouraging you?!? XD)

Come on, give me your best shot!!! >o<; ROWWRRRR!!!

I wouldn't call it whining, its more like "crying desperately to the bad poet ghosts of the past for help".

Let's hope they answer my whine (I mean my plea!!!).

 

[Descyple]

Alas, my brain must now rest
And parting is such sweet sorrow
But I shall return with more bad poetry
And inflict it on the masses tomorrow

Goodnight my fellow paltry poeteers!!!

 

[AzureAfire]

Alas, even i can't stop
The call of your mistress...
Your mattress
That may or mayn't be
Covered with prints of
Laughing teddies
Wearing shorts with
Pink heart prints

As you prepare your slumber
To dreamstates weaving
Otherworldly fancies,
I'll thus prepare
A feast so humble
For a partaker of one
Maybe pasta, sauced red
Or fried rice with tuna
Or stewed meats galore
My choice, yet unsure
My stomach is mum
Though my head is now numbing
But hopefully i've
Unwittingly caused
Some other's stomach's
Panging

'Til next time, Adversary
Who's hands must now rest
And who's thoughts must
For now stop
Thinking of ways
To parry my
Choice insanity

GOD bless you, dear one
GOD bless you true
Pleasant dreams and
More pleasant wakings
'Til our next duel session
I bid you "Adieu"

 

[AzureAfire]

Thought i could write
bad poetry
today.

My head feels
weird
"When does it not?"
You might ask...
Now, that'd be quite
rude, but
yes, it always is
weird.
My mind
anyhow.
But maybe the
better word is,
for now, quite
moody.

So this is what
it's like
when i write without
inspiration...
I forgot.

No wonder i
wrote nothing in
years past....

Words just get
strung, like
unpretty pebbles,
rough and odd...

No humor
No light
No warmth
No wonder
Just...
...

Maybe i just
need to rest
'coz today i'm
truly not
my best...

But then again,
I was right.
I didn't want to,
but knew it...

I'd write
bad poetry
today.

*Not proud of this post, but it's what i do feel today...sigh. Will be writing something better next time*

 

[Descyple]

Alas, even i can't stop
The call of your mistress...
Your mattress
That may or mayn't be
Covered with prints of
Laughing teddies
Wearing shorts with
Pink heart prints

As you prepare your slumber
To dreamstates weaving
Otherworldly fancies,
I'll thus prepare
A feast so humble
For a partaker of one
Maybe pasta, sauced red
Or fried rice with tuna
Or stewed meats galore
My choice, yet unsure
My stomach is mum
Though my head is now numbing
But hopefully i've
Unwittingly caused
Some other's stomach's
Panging

'Til next time, Adversary
Who's hands must now rest
And who's thoughts must
For now stop
Thinking of ways
To parry my
Choice insanity

GOD bless you, dear one
GOD bless you true
Pleasant dreams and
More pleasant wakings
'Til our next duel session
I bid you "Adieu"

With such a heartfelt goodnight
As the one you've given to me
How could I possibly reply in jest
Or in verse with comedy

But one thing I must correct
Of your thoughts on my teddy-bear sheets
They're really Winnie the Pooh collectibles
With him near my sleep is complete

I hope you were able to attain
A meal worthy of your appetite
So you can regain enough energy
To prolong our bad poetry fight

 

[Fenner]

Darn mosquito you big dummy, why don't you go home to your Mummy?

 

[Descyple]

Darn mosquito you big dummy, why don't you go home to your Mummy?

Oh no, AzureAfire, we have a new challenger for "Worst Poet" in Fenner (and by the looks of her poetry, she will be a worthy opponent - lol).

 

[tdawg23]

Oh bright sun so high in the sky, when I look at you, you hurt my eyes
why dost thou hide when the moon comes out, you cover your rays what's that all about?
dont be shy is what I have been taught, and besides, why worry, the moon thinks you're hot
so come over here and give me a hug, we can be friends forever and... Ouch.

Whoever mentioned a check, I expect it by this time tomorrow.
I can brag about being the best worst poet ever now.

 

[Descyple]

Oh bright sun so high in the sky, when I look at you, you hurt my eyes
why dost thou hide when the moon comes out, you cover your rays what's that all about?
dont be shy is what I have been taught, and besides, why worry, the moon thinks you're hot
so come over here and give me a hug, we can be friends forever and... Ouch.

Whoever mentioned a check, I expect it by this time tomorrow.
I can brag about being the best worst poet ever now.

Bravo tdawg.

That is a great (and you know I mean bad) poetry submission. But the "worst poet" check will not yet be mailed out, because I see it's time for this bad poetry contest to rise up (or lower down) to a whole new level!!!

 

[Descyple]

The prose of this contest
Has reached the level of "hugs from the sun"
The weirdness here has made sanity disappear
What in the world have we begun

I can see us all being fitted
For straight jackets and very soon
Where the only stage for a bad poetry sage
Will be our own little padded room

At least we'll have our awful poems
To roll around in our eccentric heads
To amuse and entertain our painfully weird brains
From whence all good poetry has fled

 

[AzureAfire]

Let's see if i can revive this thread, and take another shot in the name of war XD (yeah, Descyple it ain't over yet!!!)

Sleepy-head
On my slump shoulders...
Please stop bobbing now!!!

Lest you want to hit
The keyboard where
You're typing these all down...

*Ouch!* XD

Maybe i should drink
Some coffee
And get my thoughts
T' run even

But i've retired from
That addiction
Since i was
age 11

I really need a
A strong
Disturbance
This numb head's
kept a steady state

Or maybe, i should
Just refrain
From playing, staying up
So late?

...Nah

Can someone please
Sing really
Loud?
I have to refrain
From doing
That

'Coz someone might
Come knocking
Now...
And ask me
"Can you sing
more of that?"

...XD

That didn't happen.

Not yet, at least XD

Well, this girl
Can have
Strange, cool
Dreams

 

[Fenner]

There once was a fly named Mable.
She liked to sit on a table.
One day she sat to long and
became squished.

 

[Descyple]

Let's see if i can revive this thread, and take another shot in the name of war XD (yeah, Descyple it ain't over yet!!!)

Sleepy-head
On my slump shoulders...
Please stop bobbing now!!!

Lest you want to hit
The keyboard where
You're typing these all down...

*Ouch!* XD

Maybe i should drink
Some coffee
And get my thoughts
T' run even

But i've retired from
That addiction
Since i was
age 11

I really need a
A strong
Disturbance
This numb head's
kept a steady state

Or maybe, i should
Just refrain
From playing, staying up
So late?

...Nah

Can someone please
Sing really
Loud?
I have to refrain
From doing
That

'Coz someone might
Come knocking
Now...
And ask me
"Can you sing
more of that?"

...XD

That didn't happen.

Not yet, at least XD

Well, this girl
Can have
Strange, cool
Dreams

Well look who returns to this poetry war
My rival and arch-mesis
With another submission as good as before
So let's resinstate our looney-ness

 

[AzureAfire]

Ahahaha!!! XD

The madness resumes,
Indeed, noble Descyple!!!

I've taken a break
From my constant
Sword-wielding
'Gainst scores of my
Fellow Undead,
Quite unyielding XD

Your poetry's
Excellent
Written with skill
I expect
Nothing less from
My Adversary's quill

So, there too
There's a chill
That your warmth
Doth escape
Should i send you
A warm and stylish
New cape? XD

 

[Fenner]

As I sit on the sidelines and watch this war with a gigle, my chairth doth wiggle.

 

[Fenner]

Twas the night before black Friday and all the through the town not a creature was stirring, not even clown.
Then out on the street arose such a clatter, I jumped out of bed to see what's the matter. And to my wandering eyes did appear a large Grey Hound tour bus with 8 tiny Canadian deer!

Oh no I screamed and gave my husband a fright, "Whats wrong" he asked and looked all a fright. "The Canadians have come ! They've come with their Doughnuts, they've come with their bacon, they've come with their pink Canadian cash, they've come to raid our Wal-Mart and take all our stuff! They'll take all our TV'S and our toys, they'll take all our candy for our good girls and boys"!

"Come back to bed" my husband said meekly. "Not a chance" I said sort of creeply. "Get out of bed, were going to Wal-Mart." "What shall we do with the children?" he asked, "We will take them, they're small and fast. They can run through the people, they can weave and bob, they can get us a TV and a Yule log!"

Off to the Impala we went, we didn't even take the time to listen to 50 cent! As we pulled in I saw them standing there, sticky doughnut fingers galore, smiles and ahy's all at the door. "I can't stand the happiness, the goodness" I say, "Avert your eyes honey" my husband did say.


We stand in the line shaking with fury, we will beat those Canadians we will hurry. "Come" I say, "The doors are open!" "The children must bob and they must weave they must get us that yule log and TV!"

My husband says, "Relax honey, we have time." "Oh no, those TV'S will be gone in no time!" Please I think, get out of my way, I have no time for these Canadian's today. I push and I shove them all to the floor, those Canadians just say, "It's OK, ahy, here have a doughnut" I ask, "What's wrong with you people!???, Why don't you go nuts??"

I get my TV, my Barbies, my Lego's I even got the last box of extra large Ego's! On our way home I say with a grin, "The Canadians may have come, but they didn't win."