Is it possible to be too ugly to get IRL friends?

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Oct 23, 2022
47
17
8
#1
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
 

Forever_Saved

Active member
Oct 4, 2022
149
128
43
#2
I think if you know your true identity in Christ and believe it, you wouldn't care what people tell you. Especially those who bully, abuse or bring you down. Don't believe them, try to renew your mind to erradicate those lies and accusations.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I personally don't think someone can ever be physically ugly, I never use that adjective to describe a person's appearance because beauty is a subjective opinion.

Anyway, surround yourself with positivity, with people who bring you up and appreciate you for who you are. Read the word, in his word there are a lot of beautiful things about us, that's what should be important.

I pray God opens your eyes to see how wonderfully made you are because he has made you in His image and he showers you with his beauty and happiness :)
 
Nov 17, 2022
49
18
8
#3
You have the answer. We are living in a shallow modern society.

One thing to think of in that if the people you meet reject you for the sole reason of your looks, they're not the ones that will make the best kind of friends in the first place. There is possibility that God is helping you by keeping them away from you so that they will not become a true curse for you.

This said, you need also to look at the mirror and ask yourself, is there some other way I can compliment my shortcomings? While your looks will probably stay, you may change the way you introduce yourself, behave and treat people. If you are meeting people while holding the latent feeling that you are entitled to have friends, you will for sure be condemned to loneliness for life.

Either way, know there is always a possibility for a perfect friendship: believe in the Lord with all your heart, and persevere in obedience to His commandments for as long as you live, and your reward will be big. If you want earthly friendships, consider solutions from both mentioned perspectives. But always remember nothing in our planet is anything close in importance to the relationship with God.

Best wishes.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
21,640
6,563
113
#4
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
Here we go again...

All I know is, if I knew you in real life and all you did was complain about yourself all the time, I would make sure to see you as little as possible.

It has nothing to do with your looks. Somebody who complains about himself incessantly is tedious to be around.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,244
2,267
113
#5
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
I think you are far more obsessed with looks than most other people. Whether being too ugly to make friends is possible or not, if people don't run away screaming when you walk into a room ugly looks isn't the problem. Ugly personality, like the kind that's always negative, never shows any growth or takes any responsibility, and can't find the joy in life, well that can drive people away pretty quickly no matter how you look.

So unless you look like a guy who had his head smooshed in a trash compactor, then set on fire, then had a poor job done of the reconstruction.... it's not your looks that are keeping people away.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
2,896
1,170
113
#6
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
You just need a lovely friend like this.where you live. 😉


If the world's ugliest dog gets kisses from this gal and adoration from the most unfriendly city in America (so by reputation), then perhaps the Lord will give you a best friend?

Proverbs 18
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Who's the friend that sticks closer than a brother?
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
10,264
8,815
113
#7
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
Can you post your picture?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
2,896
1,170
113
#8
That wouldn't post because Mr. Happy Face broke the camera. Don't despair...

 

MsMediator

Active member
Mar 8, 2022
221
142
43
#9
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.
I would just cut off ties with these people. Yes, there are people like this, especially when it comes to dating. This may even be the norm. If you are handicapped, etc. and people are making fun of you, you need to cut ties with them now.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,382
1,318
113
#10
Hi! @KJ91 😊

I've been there...People called me ugly...and it wounded my heart deeply...




The people who told you that you are ugly are the ugly ones... I don't call people ugly by their appearance I call them ugly by their personality....





I've been there...I suffered from not liking my appearance....I did braces to correct my sticking out teeth but after my teeth done...I started to see other ugly features of me lol ....what I am gonna say is ...correcting my teeth was not the problem... the people who called me ugly they were not the real problem...my appearance was not my problem the problem was my heart....


Here's I'm gonna say the reality is you are you...no one will going to live your life but you...so it is all up to you if you will choose to feel that way or you will choose to go out there to shine brightly...


You don't have the looks this world is obsessed with...that's fine...they are not as important as your personality....here are the most important ones ... your heart that loves the LORD, your kind heart ,your gentle heart ,your warm heart your honest heart,your humble heart and your loving heart...


Have that kind of heart have that kind of personality that shines beyond your physical appearance that kind of personality will definitely attract true friends...😊


Good looks with ugly heart will only attract fake friends but your good heart will definitely attract the real ones...


So my brother regardless of your looks always remember this you are you no one can live your life better than you do...don't let this world kill that light inside you...shine...shine brightly from within because that's the most worthy in God's sight 🙏🏻❤


God bless you ❤
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
2,896
1,170
113
#11
If you want to see the short video that didn't connect, just click the " watch on YouTube" in that grey box.

Here's a word from 1 Samuel

"And he sanctified Jesse and his sons, and called them to the sacrifice. 6And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD'S anointed is before him. 7But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. "
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
7,441
3,322
113
#12
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
People who have been told they’re ugly their whole lives tend to believe it even if it isn’t true. Starting in elementary school, I saw and experienced firsthand how utterly ruthless young children can be once a seed of corruption is planted in their midst.

I’m not ugly or anything like that, but I was quiet and tended to be more of a loner in school. The more they poked at me the more it confirmed why I wasn’t talking to them or playing with them in the first place.

That defined me in my early days, but eventually I realized I can be whoever I wanted to be. So, long story short, I did exactly that.

So don’t let self-esteem issues hold you back and try not to be self-conscious about it. This is your life so enjoy it within the guidelines Jesus gave us.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
2,896
1,170
113
#13
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
Hi again kj91,

I hope you got a little laugh out of those two videos. They say laughter is the best medicine and you sounded like you needed some cheering up. The one about the best friend is the important one. That's the foundation for true friendship. I'd like to hear what you think of it tomorrow.

Back in school there used to be boys who thought that cruelty was masculinity. They had no idea what a man was supposed to be like. As they got older, some would look for anything they could find to pick on to establish their fake dominance. They acted like chickens and would peck....peck on names, some little difference that they didn't have, make up whatever they couldn't find to try to exploit a weakness in other boys. Sometimes they turned violent and from words to fists and weapons. Even though many were the jocks in basketball and football, some of them died from poor lifestyle and drugs at early ages. One guy they went after to harm in serious ways ended up a lifelong athlete that was sought by serious people for serious training.

I still see what grown men on some of the forums are like. They never grew up and talk about ugly: they have hideous sin problems. David talks about that type in the Psalms. He describes the kind that he committed to God to handle.
There are solutions and the Bible has them all. I provided a link that describes the first step. It's highlighted blue.

Have a good weekend.
To your health and happiness
☕🙂👍
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,196
4,088
113
#14
If someone is 1 of 10 on the look scale, and is horrible ugly with no chance to improve his looks, is it not possible then that people
will be ashamed to be viewed with this person? This person would drag down their social status. Its hard
being friend with someone who everytime they look at you they are almost puking because of how unattractive you are.

Many have told me that im so ugly that nobody is gonna want to have me as a friend IRL. Im so ugly people dont even view
me as a human, they view me as some alien species from Star Trek or something.

Im talking about IRl friends now, not internet friends.


I know, nobody is ugly in Gods eyes, and that is what is most important. Im talking about human beings now only. We are living in a shallow modern society.
A while back, we had another young man declaring the same thing -- that he had no friends and it must be because he was too ugly. He eventually posted a picture and I don't know if it was really a picture of him or not, but he wasn't physically ugly at all.

We all have insecurities and this world seems determined to reinforce them, but have you considered that perhaps your lack of friends might be in regards to the way you respond to people, rather than how you look?

I have been trying to keep up with all the threads you've written here, as I find them interesting. But there is a distinct and undeniable pattern throughout all your writings and replies to those who answer you. Here's a good example.

You asked if women prefer a virgin or someone who is "experienced," and a Christian woman answered you sincerely, saying that the most important thing to her was to find a man with a heart for God.

Your reply to her was this:

thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
First, you accused her of not marrying a virgin, when she said nothing about this. Second, you automatically restate virginity is "a turnoff for women, even if they don't admit it," claiming, "It's something deep inside, something biological."

And this appears to be a hallmark throughout your threads and posts.

1. You have a certain set of very ingrained beliefs about how the world is (and we all do, I get that.) BUT...

2. You argue with anyone who has anything even remotely different to say, rendering their own beliefs and experiences invalid in your eyes. How many people want to talk to someone who completely dismisses anything they have to say?

3. You have no interest in anything else anyone posts unless it backs what you already firmly believe to be true.

I'm not trying to sound critical and I normally like to be encouraging, but I'm honestly shocked that you apparently don't see any problems here and blame it all on appearance. I'm not saying that appearance doesn't matter, because we all know it does (along with personal hygiene.)

But when you ask yourself, what do I have to offer as a friend, and what would I hope for a friend to be?

Are you hoping for friends who all have their own set-in-stone beliefs about how the world and people are, and won't listen to anything you have to say if it differs from what they believe? Are you looking for people who, when you try to sincerely share what you truly think, will then cut you off and say something like, "No, no, that's not what you really think or believe because I know better. THIS is what you really think and THIS is how the world really is..."

I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but at least in writing, you project an attitude of only caring about stating and reinforcing your own thoughts and not even listening to anyone else's. And I understand that we all do this to a certain degree, but there is a breaking point. People don't want to spend what little spare time they have trying to talk to those who are impossible to talk to.

I'm not sure if you are looking for what you do to others in your posts -- ignoring and dismissing their contributions -- but I can assure you that most people aren't looking for this and definitely won't put up with it for long. Everyone, and I would guess you are included in this, is looking for someone who will at least listen to what they have to say and demonstrate some ability to be able to understand their point of view and learn from it.

And I'm certainly not going to tell you that finding friends is easy. I haven't had an "in real life" nearby friend in about 10 years, due to situations in my own life. But I do have old friends from my hometown, as well as long-distance friends I've met online (right here on this site), so now I try to save up in order to visit as many as I can throughout the year. I understand this doesn't work for most, but I've always been outside the box myself.

Can I ask you, if you focused on the aspect of really listening to people and wanting to learn from them instead of trying to make up their minds for them, what do you think you might find?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
21,640
6,563
113
#15
1. You have a certain set of very ingrained beliefs about how the world is (and we all do, I get that.) BUT...

2. You argue with anyone who has anything even remotely different to say, rendering their own beliefs and experiences invalid in your eyes. How many people want to talk to someone who completely dismisses anything they have to say?

3. You have no interest in anything else anyone posts unless it backs what you already firmly believe to be true.
Say that DOES sound familiar...

KJ91 have you been here before under another name?
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
2,884
1,119
113
Mesa, AZ
#16
Hi! @KJ91 😊

I've been there...People called me ugly...and it wounded my heart deeply...




The people who told you that you are ugly are the ugly ones... I don't call people ugly by their appearance I call them ugly by their personality....





I've been there...I suffered from not liking my appearance....I did braces to correct my sticking out teeth but after my teeth done...I started to see other ugly features of me lol ....what I am gonna say is ...correcting my teeth was not the problem... the people who called me ugly they were not the real problem...my appearance was not my problem the problem was my heart....


Here's I'm gonna say the reality is you are you...no one will going to live your life but you...so it is all up to you if you will choose to feel that way or you will choose to go out there to shine brightly...


You don't have the looks this world is obsessed with...that's fine...they are not as important as your personality....here are the most important ones ... your heart that loves the LORD, your kind heart ,your gentle heart ,your warm heart your honest heart,your humble heart and your loving heart...


Have that kind of heart have that kind of personality that shines beyond your physical appearance that kind of personality will definitely attract true friends...😊


Good looks with ugly heart will only attract fake friends but your good heart will definitely attract the real ones...


So my brother regardless of your looks always remember this you are you no one can live your life better than you do...don't let this world kill that light inside you...shine...shine brightly from within because that's the most worthy in God's sight 🙏🏻❤


God bless you ❤
Dear God you are not ugly Kireina. Whoever told you that probably has a scratched cornea or something. And, I can see this from standing 400' feet over you!
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,317
2,389
113
Georgia
#17
Ive never in my 39 years of life met anyone that was "too ugly" to have friends. Saying that is basically saying that everyone around that person is wrapped up in vainity . I dont believe that.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
21,640
6,563
113
#18
Ive never in my 39 years of life met anyone that was "too ugly" to have friends. Saying that is basically saying that everyone around that person is wrapped up in vainity . I dont believe that.
Ah thank you. That's a great way to put it in words.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,286
2,529
113
#19
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Each person has his/her preferences. For a long time I thought I was ugly because I was only pursued once in my adult life. But my attitude communicated that I didn’t need anyone in my life.

The Lord healed my heart. I later met the man I married.
 
Nov 17, 2022
10
9
3
#20
Hi! @KJ91 😊

I've been there...People called me ugly...and it wounded my heart deeply...




The people who told you that you are ugly are the ugly ones... I don't call people ugly by their appearance I call them ugly by their personality....





I've been there...I suffered from not liking my appearance....I did braces to correct my sticking out teeth but after my teeth done...I started to see other ugly features of me lol ....what I am gonna say is ...correcting my teeth was not the problem... the people who called me ugly they were not the real problem...my appearance was not my problem the problem was my heart....


Here's I'm gonna say the reality is you are you...no one will going to live your life but you...so it is all up to you if you will choose to feel that way or you will choose to go out there to shine brightly...


You don't have the looks this world is obsessed with...that's fine...they are not as important as your personality....here are the most important ones ... your heart that loves the LORD, your kind heart ,your gentle heart ,your warm heart your honest heart,your humble heart and your loving heart...


Have that kind of heart have that kind of personality that shines beyond your physical appearance that kind of personality will definitely attract true friends...😊


Good looks with ugly heart will only attract fake friends but your good heart will definitely attract the real ones...


So my brother regardless of your looks always remember this you are you no one can live your life better than you do...don't let this world kill that light inside you...shine...shine brightly from within because that's the most worthy in God's sight 🙏🏻❤


God bless you ❤