Kissing before marriage?

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love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
638
704
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#41
I don't believe there is a right or wrong, just personal preference and convictions.

Like many have suggested, it probably has a lot to do with what the intent is.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,181
4,034
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#42
just dont kiss anyone whos got germs
cos you will come down with whatever they have.

I think people are on high alert now this coronavrius is going round.

This thread reminds of this book I read called Kiss! Kiss! Yuck! Yuck!

maybe the boy in it should say to his aunty shes only allowed to kiss her husband.
 
C

CozHElivesIcanface2morrow

Guest
#43
just dont kiss anyone whos got germs
cos you will come down with whatever they have.

I think people are on high alert now this coronavrius is going round.

This thread reminds of this book I read called Kiss! Kiss! Yuck! Yuck!

maybe the boy in it should say to his aunty shes only allowed to kiss her husband.
Your comment makes me think...How would you know if they got germs? Are you going to ask for the person's oral/dental records? Are you gonna ask if He/She goes to the dentist regularly? Or You will bring him/her first to the doctor? Or you will check it by yourself to know if the person is carrying a disease-causing germs? how ? 🤔 I wonder how you would know without hurting the person... Please let me know @Lanolin 😊


Remember that...there are billions bacteria in human mouth and everytine you drink water you swallow millions of bacteria 😊 that is according to Science 😊



I remember a joke when I was in highschool it says "if you smell something stinky...remember that your mouth is near your nose 😂😂😂😂
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,166
813
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#44
I think a romantic kiss even french is fine but if you are kissing/making out to "turn on" yourself, that falls into the category of lust and we are warned about that.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,166
813
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#45
I agree sex/sexual acts should be confined to marriage, but I'm not sure we should confine all forms of affection with the opposite sex to marriage. Forms of affection would include kissing, holding hands, hugging, embracing, being "playful" such as picking up the girl and swirling her, sitting on lap, etc. If we raise the importance of kissing and other types of affection, it kind of puts pressure to marry the first person you date, or kiss, etc, and this may not be a wise decision.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,358
2,138
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#46
I would be interested in reading different people's opinions on this. I personally think you shouldn't kiss someone who you aren't married to. What are your thoughts? and why?
I say it is up to the individuals to know their limits.


If someone is scared of kissing before marriage because they know if they cross that line for them they may be more willing to do something they shouldn't before marriage, then that person would be wise to set limits so early.


If someone and their husband/wife to be, can kiss and not cross any line we aren't to cross before marriage.... then for them it is fine but they should still be careful and mindful of where to set their own limits.


If we are in love with someone and their limit starts long before ours, we respect theirs.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,181
4,034
113
#47
Your comment makes me think...How would you know if they got germs? Are you going to ask for the person's oral/dental records? Are you gonna ask if He/She goes to the dentist regularly? Or You will bring him/her first to the doctor? Or you will check it by yourself to know if the person is carrying a disease-causing germs? how ? 🤔 I wonder how you would know without hurting the person... Please let me know @Lanolin 😊


Remember that...there are billions bacteria in human mouth and everytine you drink water you swallow millions of bacteria 😊 that is according to Science 😊


I remember a joke when I was in highschool it says "if you smell something stinky...remember that your mouth is near your nose 😂😂😂😂
Haha go out with a dentist. I know one lady at church who married a dentist. Not for me though. He was kind but then he was retired so I never went to see her husband while he was practising. If he was still alive I would ask him for his thoughts on that.

But in general I avoid dentists, as I had bad experience with some of them. Its very painful to go more for your bank balance than anything else. If you were married to one you would probably have a lovely home though, as I recall the home they lived in was pretty spotless. You would have to be the kind of wife that would be very fastidious about hygiene.

some people carry wet wipes, but actually they are very bad for the enviroment as they are soaked in chemicals and plastic fibres. Use disposable tissues or a clean hanky..which you wash!
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#48
I would be interested in reading different people's opinions on this. I personally think you shouldn't kiss someone who you aren't married to. What are your thoughts? and why?
I was watching a Duggar wedding once and they waited until their wedding ceremony for their first kiss. I thought that was super cute.
Melly, I think waiting for marriage for a kiss is an awesome idea!
 

Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
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#49
I personally want to wait until my wedding day. The Holy Spirit convicted me of that. Kissing is a very intimate thing and I believe it shouldn't be happening until two people are already in a covenant relationship with each other (marriage). It's like an act of "agreement" between two people and an intimate one at that.

Also, I really love Dan Mohler's take on the whole issue of sexuality and kissing before marriage, and encourage everyone to watch this video, it's quite challenging (to the flesh) but also very inspiring, in my opinion:

 
Apr 26, 2012
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#50
I've never raised teenagers,
but social boundaries are sacred. Social boundaries are unseen spiritual and emotional personal space rules that guide relationships.

Such as any intimate interaction must be between opposite sexes, such as holding hands and walking down a beach. Even ways of social relations such as body language, distance between people, what they are saying and how they are saying things can be trespassing someone else's personal or emotional distance. Any unwanted contact, even media texts, emails, or disclosure of someone's private life, can be considered a violation of someone's sanctity or personal sanctuary.

Intimate marital relations are not allowed by the Bible unless Christians are married, but there are always ways to recover if unplanned things happen. And babies have a right to life. Many Christian parents want their maturing sons and daughters to date alone only with a responsible adult chaperone present.

One good guide is if what someone is doing makes you feel uncomfortable. You can call upon the Name of Jesus in severe cases, and God will intervene to save your life or defend your soul and spiritual well-being, or your honor over time according to your emergency.

Talk it over with your pastor or some responsible members of your church.

 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,181
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#51
people may be deducing from my post that my teeth are horrible. Um..well they arent dead straight one is slightly crooked but...I am not a vampire and wont bite.

this isnt the teens forum but when I was a teen I dont remember being told much about kissing - the education at school was more about AIDS and being protected from that.

I dont know if the churches ever touch on this in youth groups, as by the time I attended church I was too old to hang out with the youth group, even though some of the elders at church thought I should be in them. yea, sometimes I might look as if Im still in high school.

Hey I work in a primary school now and some of the year 6s think im just a teenager and not much older than them.
But I think young people need to know a few things before they copy what they might see on tv or read in any trashy magazine on how to conduct themselves with the opposite sex, how to deal with messy stuff that comes out of your body. (or in) cos by the time they reach puberty its all on, flood gates are open people.
 

Lon1934

Active member
Feb 13, 2020
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#52
I would be interested in reading different people's opinions on this. I personally think you shouldn't kiss someone who you aren't married to. What are your thoughts? and why?
It depends on the circumstances. For many, a kiss is no more than a hand shake.
 
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Phenom1960

Guest
#53
I would be interested in reading different people's opinions on this. I personally think you shouldn't kiss someone who you aren't married to. What are your thoughts? and why?
On a first date, I think a kiss on the cheek is appropriate at the end of the night. French kissing should not be done because that is usually done as a prelude to having sex. It's best to avoid that temptation! A man should always show proper respect for the woman He is with. I feel that is a healthy boundary for couples to have. Sex and sexuality should be reserved for when you're married.
 
Dec 23, 2019
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godfoundme.weebly.com
#54
I can see the merit of both opinions and respect them. For myself, I think I’d have to say it depends. Before I get to kissing, let’s talk about friendship. With some you just instantly click and can talk to them for hours about anything and laugh about nothing. With others it’s harder to keep the conversation going once you catch up. Some friends are huggers and others are uncomfortable with that. No one person is the same and no relationship between two people will be the same nor run on the same timetable with the same steps. What’s right for one couple may be wrong for another for various reasons and considerations.

Back to couples then. If one couple finds it hard to resist going further, then perhaps that couple should consider not kissing. If one partner is uncomfortable with kissing, then the other should respect their boundaries. It also depends how long they know each other. Maybe to some a kiss is like a handshake, but to me it is more intimate. I may start with a handshake and sometimes have to work my way up to a hug with an acquaintance. If they are huggers then sometimes they move things along faster and I end up initiating some too.

If I were dating someone, then is this a friend I’m already close with or a blind date I don’t know? If I just met them, I would not be comfortable with even a kiss on the cheek. As for a kiss on the lips, I don’t think that should be done with just anyone nor right away. Maybe once the relationship starts to get more serious, but even then, maybe just a “peck” and no tongue. I could also go for the purity idea, it’s kind of cute and sweet. And if they had previously kissed people I don’t think that’s a deal-breaker. That’s in the past so how would that affect your future with them if they love you? Also, the thought of having our first kiss be on our wedding day is kind of scary to me. I’d rather practice before doing it in front of an audience! And I don’t think I’d like PDAs other than hand-holding so… Again, I think it depends on each person and couple. Each couple should check in with each other and make decisions that are right for them. In the end I don’t know what I would do or what would be right and I don’t think I’ll know until it comes up with the right person. However, do all to the glory of God and not for the flesh.
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
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#55
I prefer to engage organically. If we reach a point in our interaction where a kiss is desired, I’ll address it then. I don’t believe in micromanagement and supposition is easy when you’re not in a position to test the theory. I’ve kissed men in the past. Intimacy is not a precursor for more and rules don’t beget restraint. Conviction is enough (for me).
 
Dec 23, 2019
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godfoundme.weebly.com
#56
I agree with Princesse. I don’t plan everything out and generally go with the flow. I may over-think things beforehand, but in the end decisions are sometimes made in the moment and it’s like Shel Silverstein’s poem. All the “coulda woulda shouldas” are scared away by one little “did.” Some things can be talked about and agreed on before (like stating you don’t believe in sex before marriage). However, other things may rely on subtle (or not so subtle) body language cues. Are they smiling up to their eyes or just giving a polite smile? Are they stiffening? Leaning towards or away from you? And not everybody picks up on body language so things must sometimes be stated. Anyway, I think what every couple will be comfortable with will be different. Some choose to wait to kiss until they marry, and others kiss before. It’s up to each couple. The Bible is clear about adultery and promotes modesty, but does not give specific guidelines for things like this. If you think God wouldn’t like it, don’t do it. And even if you don’t sin, don’t put a stumbling block for another if you know your actions would cause them to sin (like meat sacrificed to idols). Not that their sin is your fault, but it’s like adding logs to their fire so to speak.
 

oksana123

New member
Feb 16, 2020
23
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#57
I didn't kiss my ex husband before marriage and we got divorced. I don't think kissing or not kissing makes a big difference in the way your future will turn out.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,181
4,034
113
#58
People seem to be putting too much value on kissing.

Women do wear lipstick though to leave a mark on whoever they kiss. This is so we can remember. Men in general dont.

I prefer a happy stamp.
 

Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
225
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#59
I didn't kiss my ex husband before marriage and we got divorced. I don't think kissing or not kissing makes a big difference in the way your future will turn out.
Naturally!

It's just that some of us prefer to have very defined boundaries when it comes to that kind of act.

I am fine with hugs, though. I know some people avoid them too, which is totally fine and I respect that. (I don't mean specifically in relationships but in general in the church.)
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
540
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#60
I would be interested in reading different people's opinions on this. I personally think you shouldn't kiss someone who you aren't married to. What are your thoughts? and why?
Your a smart woman, I wish I had that conviction when I was younger, if kissing before marriage doesn't lead to other things, it still creates the temptation. Your wise to wait until after your married and sharing your first kiss with your husband.