George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.
George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.
George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man continued to peruse the ceiling.
George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "Yes I am."
George W. asked him why he was so uppity, and the man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I had to spend forty years in the desert."
Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team's game. They promised whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did.
He said to Bob, "I have good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good news first. There IS baseball in heaven."
Bob said, "That's the best news!"
Then Earl said, "Time for the bad news...you're pitching tomorrow night."