Liking your stepbrother's girlfriend... covetousness

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prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#1
Feb 10, 2011
40
0
6
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#1
Hello everyone,

I've been having feelings for my stepbrother's girlfriend. They've only been together for just over a month. I talk to her from time to time and I find myself liking her. I find her pretty and I like what she has to say, etc.

I feel very guilty about this and I feel like I might try to do something with her. I really don't want to, but the thoughts appear in my head.

I deleted her number from my cellphone. I told my stepbrother that I've been thinking about her. He hasn't responded yet by text.

I would not even touch her... it's just my sexual desires are too strong for my comfort. Though, I was just as attracted to women at church today. Hm... I do spend a lot of time at home, because I care for my mother. I don't see women too often, and my stepbrother's girlfriend is often at my family's house. Am I just sprung on her because she's there often and is attractive or... do I really "love" her?

Well, no matter. I won't do anything with her since my stepbrother saw her before I did. I prayed today that I stop thinking about her and that I stay out of her sight. I'll continue to pray to keep sexually pure. It's a real fight at times.

Thanks for reading if you read this.

-- Aaron
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#2
#2
Sounds like you know how you need to handle it, so...*thumbs up*

Will pray for you on this, though. I know it can feel like fighting an uphill battle.
 
SweetShelly35

SweetShelly35

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2012
289
3
18
#3
Aaron,

It sounds like you are doing very well at resisting this temptation. Keep praying on this! The woman that the Lord has for you will be beautiful and is worth the wait.
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#4
#4
prodigious1one said:
Hello everyone,

I've been having feelings for my stepbrother's girlfriend. They've only been together for just over a month. I talk to her from time to time and I find myself liking her. I find her pretty and I like what she has to say, etc.

I feel very guilty about this and I feel like I might try to do something with her. I really don't want to, but the thoughts appear in my head.

I deleted her number from my cellphone. I told my stepbrother that I've been thinking about her. He hasn't responded yet by text.

I would not even touch her... it's just my sexual desires are too strong for my comfort. Though, I was just as attracted to women at church today. Hm... I do spend a lot of time at home, because I care for my mother. I don't see women too often, and my stepbrother's girlfriend is often at my family's house. Am I just sprung on her because she's there often and is attractive or... do I really "love" her?

Well, no matter. I won't do anything with her since my stepbrother saw her before I did. I prayed today that I stop thinking about her and that I stay out of her sight. I'll continue to pray to keep sexually pure. It's a real fight at times.

Thanks for reading if you read this.

-- Aaron
Click to expand...
I commend you too on how you are handling it. Strong desires like this are tough to combat, but it sounds that you are choosing the right responses to keep yourself from acting upon them.

Don't be too condemning of yourself though. Being stuck at home and caring for a loved one can be very taxing. I'm sure it is extra difficult at your age wanting to be out and interacting with others, filling your time with others who are establishing their lives as well. Naturally when someone is brought into your secluded life that represents the things that you are searching for in a spouse, you would be attracted. Mixing that with your natural levels of hormones can be quite explosive. Not to mention the amount of time you have to sit and think. Yes, you are caring for your mother, but your activities are limited. Idle hands make the devil's workshop.

So continue to protect yourself from your desires, to have them is normal, only to nurture and act upon them is a sin. To help fill your time with wholesome activity, dive deep into this website. Read as many posts and threads as you can. Respond to as many of them as you feel compelled to do. This site has been very beneficial with my walk with God, to make positive connections, and to busy my hands. Many have benefited, so can you.
 
T

Trudes

Guest
#5
#5
I strongly encourage you to stay away from her. If she should reject you your heart will be broken. she is with someone else, let her go because there are plenty of single women out there who you may find yourself equally attracted to. Protect your heart and look for someone else.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
Don't confuse lust, infatuation or attraction with love. You do not love this woman.
Don't feel guilty for being attracted. We can't determine who we're attracted to. Only how we handle ourselves in light of the attraction.
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#7
Feb 10, 2011
40
0
6
38
#7
Thanks for your responses. Yeah, this is probably lust and maybe jealousy, both are bad.

I'll try reading and keep myself busy. My stepbrother only said that I should look for a girl who has similar qualitites to his girlfriend's. He wasn't too bothered by my reaction.

I'll be alright in time. I start working this Tuesday so that will give me a sense of the future. I've been out of work since April 30th.
 
J

jb

Senior Member
#8
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
591
113
#8
prodigious1one said:
...it's just my sexual desires are too strong for my comfort. Though, I was just as attracted to women at church today...
Click to expand...
This is simply a "flesh" problem, take your mind out of your genitals by keeping yourself occupied with practical things, things that you have to actually think about to accomplish...Gal 5v16-26

Also, spend time in prayer in the Lord's Presence so that you partake of His Grace, Blessing and Strength to enable you to resist temptation and read your Bible, don't watch/look at images/videos that may incite your sexual desires. 1Cor 10v13, 2Cor 12v9

And remember, "...where sin abounded, grace abounded much more!" Rom 5v20

Yahweh Shalom...
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#9
Feb 10, 2011
40
0
6
38
#9
Hey, JB,

thanks for the swift advice!

Yes, I notice that this is lust. I will try to follow your advice. I will focus on what I want to accomplish as one of God's disciples.

I started working as a French/Spanish tutor this week. I had work today and that made me feel REALLY good to help students to practice French and Spanish. I'm glad to have work and thus something to preoccupy my mind.

I think my lust was worse while I was unemployed. I walked past my stepbrother's girlfriend tonight without feeling lusty towards her, so I feel alright now.

Thanks for everyone's help.
 
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