Love Advice with Dr. Des

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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#1
Singles, Non-Singles,


Are you feel'n lonely? :cry:


Are you have'n trouble with your significant other? :mad:


Are you so attractive that you just can't find a way to keep the ladies off your case? (I'm projecting here, of course) :whistle:o_O


Look no further than this thread where Dr. Des will be serving up some consistent spoon-fulls of wisdom.




DISCLAIMER: This thread is for comedic purposes only. Do not try this stuff at home unless you want to deal with a psychiatrist or law enforcement.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#3
My first question comes from "Lonely in Long Island"

He wants to know how he can find this girl. It can be done in five easy steps:



Step 1: Locate the seeing stone.

Step 2: Kill the evil wizard guarding the seeing stone.

Step 3: Ask the seeing stone for the location of the girl.

Step 4: Confirm location.

Step 5: Thow a cloth over the seeing stone before the Dark Lord sees what you're up to.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#4
My first question comes from "Lonely in Long Island"

He wants to know how he can find this girl. It can be done in five easy steps:



Step 1: Locate the seeing stone.

Step 2: Kill the evil wizard guarding the seeing stone.

Step 3: Ask the seeing stone for the location of the girl.

Step 4: Confirm location.

Step 5: Thow a cloth over the seeing stone before the Dark Lord sees what you're up to.

Dear Dr. Des,

I'm not looking for a girl, but rather, a certain gentleman (who owes me $50 bucks.)

Normally, I wouldn't go through all the trouble, but it's that time of the year, and unfortunately, my mustache isn't just going to wax itself (besides, what woman WOULDN'T choose to have her mustache waxed by a professional when given the choice!)

I believe I've found the seeing stone (who knew it would be at the bottom of my roommate's fish tank), but have found that it's actually guarded by a Wampa (the Star Wars version of the abominable snowman) instead of an evil wizard.

What should I do?

(Please don't go all Rise of Skywalker on me and tell me I need to find an endless chain of other McGuffins, such as a lightsaber to kill the Wamba, in order to find the first McGuffin - the seeing stone - that you're already telling us to look for.) I'm not diving into my roommate's fish tank more than once.

Besides, I can only fit so many useless plot devices into one story (which is why I've never gotten a job as a Hollywood writer.) :LOL:

Sincerely,

You Told Me It Would Be a Wizard!!!

And, It's. Not. a. Wizard.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#5
Dear Dr. Des,

I'm not looking for a girl, but rather, a certain gentleman (who owes me $50 bucks.)

Normally, I wouldn't go through all the trouble, but it's that time of the year, and unfortunately, my mustache isn't just going to wax itself (besides, what woman WOULDN'T choose to have her mustache waxed by a professional when given the choice!)

I believe I've found the seeing stone (who knew it would be at the bottom of my roommate's fish tank), but have found that it's actually guarded by a Wampa (the Star Wars version of the abominable snowman) instead of an evil wizard.

What should I do?

(Please don't go all Rise of Skywalker on me and tell me I need to find an endless chain of other McGuffins, such as a lightsaber to kill the Wamba, in order to find the first McGuffin - the seeing stone - that you're already telling us to look for.) I'm not diving into my roommate's fish tank more than once.

Besides, I can only fit so many useless plot devices into one story (which is why I've never gotten a job as a Hollywood writer.) :LOL:

Sincerely,

You Told Me It Would Be a Wizard!!!

And, It's. Not. a. Wizard.

P.S. Are you fully licensed?

Regardless, you should be hearing from my attorney soon.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#6
Dear Dr. Des,

I really want to follow your advice because it's probably the most feasible and realistic suggestion I've heard in a while.

But, I also really want lunch.

What should I do?

Signed,

Do Wampas Like Sandwiches?
 

SigP226

Active member
Sep 5, 2018
162
83
28
#7
While I do find this funny.....

Are we openly bashing this guy instead of trying to actually help him? I'm not saying we should track down the mystery girl, but shouldn't we help/council him?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#8
While I do find this funny.....

Are we openly bashing this guy instead of trying to actually help him? I'm not saying we should track down the mystery girl, but shouldn't we help/council him?
I understand your concern. I know the original thread is a long read, but if you read through it, you will see that many, many people there have been repeatedly trying to counsel and help the original poster there.

This thread is not meant at all as a bash, nor is it meant to have anything to do with any particular person or any other thread.

It's simply an idea that was born out of a discussion, which happens quite often here (I don't write as many threads as I used to, but when I did, at least half of my ideas came from things going on in the forum here and had nothing to do with anyone in particular.)

Rather, this is meant to be a general, relaxed conversation that pokes gentle laughts at anyone who has been willing to do, or has done, something crazy for the sake of love.

And this, of course, would be all of us. :)

It's basically an opportunity to laugh at ourselves. :geek:
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#9
This is the spinoff. There will be more episodes.

While I do find this funny.....

Are we openly bashing this guy instead of trying to actually help him? I'm not saying we should track down the mystery girl, but shouldn't we help/council him?
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#11
Licenses and attorneys are for chumps. I live by the old rules in this country where if you show up and are qualified, you get the job.

P.S. Are you fully licensed?

Regardless, you should be hearing from my attorney soon.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#12
Not all problems need to be solved with violence.

Wampas are food-driven. Bring a cow, pig, or some other form of livestock as a piece offering. He'll gladly exchange it for a stone.


Dear Dr. Des,

I'm not looking for a girl, but rather, a certain gentleman (who owes me $50 bucks.)

Normally, I wouldn't go through all the trouble, but it's that time of the year, and unfortunately, my mustache isn't just going to wax itself (besides, what woman WOULDN'T choose to have her mustache waxed by a professional when given the choice!)

I believe I've found the seeing stone (who knew it would be at the bottom of my roommate's fish tank), but have found that it's actually guarded by a Wampa (the Star Wars version of the abominable snowman) instead of an evil wizard.

What should I do?

(Please don't go all Rise of Skywalker on me and tell me I need to find an endless chain of other McGuffins, such as a lightsaber to kill the Wamba, in order to find the first McGuffin - the seeing stone - that you're already telling us to look for.) I'm not diving into my roommate's fish tank more than once.

Besides, I can only fit so many useless plot devices into one story (which is why I've never gotten a job as a Hollywood writer.) :LOL:

Sincerely,

You Told Me It Would Be a Wizard!!!

And, It's. Not. a. Wizard.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#13
Easy,

Send me your bank account number, routing number, and mother's maiden name. All your problems will be solved!
Are you a Nigerian Prince?

Forget this, I'd rather battle it out with the Wamba.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,580
692
113
#17
Well one job I worked there was a male intern and a female intern.

They're married, have two kids and a house. I'm a taller, more rugged cupid.

Can we see a list of your qualifications?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#18
Not all problems need to be solved with violence.

Wampas are food-driven. Bring a cow, pig, or some other form of livestock as a piece offering. He'll gladly exchange it for a stone.
Personally, I'm hoping this Wampa has a taste for seafood.

And I sure hope my friend won't miss their goldfish(es.)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,169
3,371
113
#20
Well one job I worked there was a male intern and a female intern.

They're married, have two kids and a house. I'm a taller, more rugged cupid.
You worked as a male intern... and then you worked as a female intern???

Are you a rugged Cupid... or just a confused one? :LOL:

How many arrows do you carry?

And if you say an unlimited number that just magically appears ala Hawkeye, I know it's time to promptly exit this thread. :whistle: