Meant to be single

[finaldesire]

After being engaged for 2 years and have my fiance cheat on me with someone else, it took me a long while to heal and to see God's plans for me. I decided I was not going to look back, and that I was going to allow God's plan to flow in my life. I finally felt ready to go out there and see if I could find this mystery girl. After, being aware and being available not much comes my way. I can talk to someone for awhile or meet them and have a wonderful time. Nothing goes anywhere, no one really cares anymore. I was more with a sensitive heart and selfness that you do not find today. The world hurts me, dating hurts me, and specifically women hurt me. I have an understanding about how people feel, I understand where they are at and the pain they are going through. My life has never been easy, and I have been through a lot of trauma. Never less, I still go out into a work that only seeks to hurt me and change who I am. I should be angry at the world, at women, at everything, but I am not. I still love, I still want to help and I still go out into hoping that just one person has the heart, that just one person cares. The reason I feel, I am to be single is simple. No one has the heart I have, feel what I feel, has the deep understanding of how other feel, and no one has a Selfless nature like me anymore. The world has changed, and it is always changing but in 4 years I would have never known dating would change so much. It has changed for the worse, the people who give you a chance, they do not even believe that you are different or have a different heart. It hurts someone like me, that all they want is to love someone else...without needing anything else in return.

No one can love you more rightly, more caring, more accepting than the Lord your God, and my God and everyone's God.

You dig?

 

[PennEd]

After being engaged for 2 years and have my fiance cheat on me with someone else, it took me a long while to heal and to see God's plans for me. I decided I was not going to look back, and that I was going to allow God's plan to flow in my life. I finally felt ready to go out there and see if I could find this mystery girl. After, being aware and being available not much comes my way. I can talk to someone for awhile or meet them and have a wonderful time. Nothing goes anywhere, no one really cares anymore. I was more with a sensitive heart and selfness that you do not find today. The world hurts me, dating hurts me, and specifically women hurt me. I have an understanding about how people feel, I understand where they are at and the pain they are going through. My life has never been easy, and I have been through a lot of trauma. Never less, I still go out into a work that only seeks to hurt me and change who I am. I should be angry at the world, at women, at everything, but I am not. I still love, I still want to help and I still go out into hoping that just one person has the heart, that just one person cares. The reason I feel, I am to be single is simple. No one has the heart I have, feel what I feel, has the deep understanding of how other feel, and no one has a Selfless nature like me anymore. The world has changed, and it is always changing but in 4 years I would have never known dating would change so much. It has changed for the worse, the people who give you a chance, they do not even believe that you are different or have a different heart. It hurts someone like me, that all they want is to love someone else...without needing anything else in return.

I understand that it is hard to think clearly and move past pain into a situation that may cause the same pain.

But dude, your post here reeks of selfishness, and self-pity!

My mom used to say when we would act and talk like you are "the worlds ALL wrong and YOU'RE right!"

She meant get over yourself. And I got news for ya, if you think it's only women that can hurt you, you are in for a BIG surprise. ALL people are broken and hurting, and sometimes those people hurt others to assuage that pain.

Be the guy to ease that pain, by showing Grace. You CANNOT be hurt by showing Grace.

 

[Jay333]

It's normal for you to go through what your going through brother. It's all part of the process of dying to self. Just let go as you said. Trust in the Lord.

 

[CeCe0000]

You seem young. I think you should try your best to move forward. I'm sure you will find someone who cares as you do when you are older. I'm 30 & I have never been married. I am planning to get back on the dating scene soon. I am open to acceptance, rejection and differences.

 

[Ugly]

I'm sure you will find someone who cares as you do when you are older.

Such platitudes are often more damaging than helpful. Not everyone finds someone. God did not promise this, either. People will be more helped by them learning to be content in whatever situation than building up hopes that may, or may not, ever come to fruition.

 

[Gabriel2020]

That's not the problem. The problem is that they don't want to seek the kingdom of God first, and let God add all these things as they devote their time to him. he will fix it where nothing will work for you. Been there ,done that, and failed. had to do what he wanted me to do, and lo and behold, he added all that I needed. I'm speaking about Christians, not those of the world, because they have it all, and we as christians are not to envy them.

 

[CeCe0000]

I disagree. If you want a companion it will happen. People want love before they are not mature enough to be responsible. Waiting until you get older if your emotional development is good can work out better for you. Do you know anyone who wanted to get married & didn't? What do they believe is the reason.

 

[cinder]

After being engaged for 2 years and have my fiance cheat on me with someone else, it took me a long while to heal and to see God's plans for me. I decided I was not going to look back, and that I was going to allow God's plan to flow in my life. I finally felt ready to go out there and see if I could find this mystery girl. After, being aware and being available not much comes my way. I can talk to someone for awhile or meet them and have a wonderful time. Nothing goes anywhere, no one really cares anymore. I was more with a sensitive heart and selfness that you do not find today. The world hurts me, dating hurts me, and specifically women hurt me. I have an understanding about how people feel, I understand where they are at and the pain they are going through. My life has never been easy, and I have been through a lot of trauma. Never less, I still go out into a work that only seeks to hurt me and change who I am. I should be angry at the world, at women, at everything, but I am not. I still love, I still want to help and I still go out into hoping that just one person has the heart, that just one person cares. The reason I feel, I am to be single is simple. No one has the heart I have, feel what I feel, has the deep understanding of how other feel, and no one has a Selfless nature like me anymore. The world has changed, and it is always changing but in 4 years I would have never known dating would change so much. It has changed for the worse, the people who give you a chance, they do not even believe that you are different or have a different heart. It hurts someone like me, that all they want is to love someone else...without needing anything else in return.

Ok first off being cheated on by a fiance or spouse totally stinks, I'm sorry it happened to you and it's understandable for you to be done with relationships for a bit and have a hard time trusting after something like that. The rest of what you said though is basically you're too sensitive and selfless for a relationship because you're so far above the rest of the world in those qualities that no one can compare to you. Up to you how long you want to play the martyr here, but that's basically what you're doing. And it doesn't sound like any of this is necessarily written in stone as God's plan but just based on feelings and the natural desire of all of us to avoid pain. But here are a few suggestions if you want to try to move on:

1) Find people you can care for and do good to as a single, without any expectation of getting something back but just because its in you to do good to people and care for them.

2) Put energy into building friendships. There is no one magic woman who's going to be able to meet all of your social and emotional needs; build the social foundation that's going to enable you not to put too much pressure on a great woman to meet all your needs.

3) Might be helpful to read up on Highly sensitive people (HSP's) the one introvert blog I frequently visit talks about them so at least some people are convinced that's a thing. And you might find some stories about people who have a lot of heart and how they've learned to cope with life and how deeply it can hurt them.

4) Get involved in some community activities. Because sometimes getting out and doing something you're interested in or enjoy that also involves people is a great cure for feeling lonely and disconnected.

 

[Lynx]

42 never married. Still alive. I've wanted to get married since I was little. Hasn't happened. I'm still alive.
I wanted to be in music. No skills. Still alive.
I wanted to be in psychology. No education. Still alive.
These were all things I've badly wanted and never gotten.
If you base wanting to live or die off of getting what you want you're going to be a miserable person.
Happy people are thankful for what they have, first and foremost. Nothing wrong with going after more, but often times you end up constantly chasing happiness and never finding it rather than being content where you're at.

It iften amazes me how many people under 25 are Convinced they'll never marry, despite wanting to.

Much wisdom here, not just for people who want to find a spouse but for everyone. The part I bolded and underlined is especially worth paying attention to.

Unfortunately the "Still Alive" song from that Portal game is now running through my head...

 

[Maranatha925]

Hello. I am 34yrs old and I have been going through something similar, for years. I had a Christian relationship and God told me to get out of it. No one cheated or anything. I didn’t understand why because I thought I was going to marry that man. It was so painful for me. It was like I had to break my own heart. I didn’t want to stop dating this guy but I had lost my peace from God. Ever since then which was about 4yrs ago I haven’t been in an actual relationship. Now everytime I start to get into a relationship I lose my peace from God right away. I’m able to recognize it more clearly now that I have been through it. I feel that God was teaching me to learn his voice through that. I did talk to a couple guys after that relationship but nothing came of them because like I said I lost my peace. Now I am learning a lot about being friends with guys. Before I would jump into relationships by my emotions without getting to know the guy or finding out what he was like. There is Godly wisdom in every decision we make. So God is teaching me to guard my heart and be able to be friends with guys without automatically thinking they are my husband or that they like me. It’s a good season to be in. I’m learning a lot. I still don’t know if I’ll be in a relationship but I don’t really care anymore. Before it bothered me so much but now I’m at a place where I don’t realky even think about it too much anymore. What I do think about is being right with God. It helps if you don’t have close relationships with the opposite sex. That makes things so much more confusing. We are supposed to guard our hearts in relationships. When we are having intimate relationships with the opposite sex without commitment, that’s not good. I’m not just talking about sexual intimacy I mean emotional too. I hope this will help your anxiety to know that there are other people in the same position. Have a blessed night.