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Oh! Thanks! I understand it better now. (...) I wish I had found the safest formula, but I quitted. 
He is a retired ex-congressman and she is a retired professor who often changes from Dr Jekyll to Mrs Hyde... I think commited Christian don´t need to drink, but I don´t know how they came to that point which made me to feel sad for her spouse who, more than twice, has shown he loves her but, listening he will be sent to another place, as he wasn´t a person, but a thing she owns or have bought, makes me feel I´m going to cut that relationship, because I have tried to bring some imaginary peace I see nowhere when Mrs N.R. drinks alcohol, and they are in the mist of their late 60.
Those fights reminded me those times when I undermined that one I was supposed to love, to care in the marriege... But she was one person with the same wrong actitude, altive mood or "leadership", that we both hurt one another and, doing it, we spoiled the children, and the good image they needed to keep as grown up.
Alcohol is as bad as any ROLE discussion.