I’m not sure why I feel The Lord is pushing me to posting this at this time.
Maybe it’s cause it’s been a very long time since I’ve shared any part of my testimony. Maybe it’s someone out there that is reading this and going through the same thing I am and this will encourage them.
Maybe it’s to help myself. I really don’t know.
However I do know that He is pushing for me to do this. I’ve felt it since I got out of church this afternoon.
My testimony is no where near as “exciting” as most others you have heard and or read. I was in church for as long as I can recall. I was saved and baptized when I was 5. I was in church with both my parents up till I turned 7 or 8 years old. On the outside we were the “perfect” family. Father Mother 2 boys family dog the whole works. My parents even ran the bus ministry for the church we went to.
Well one Saturday after church my dad slapped my mom like has happened my whole life. This time it was in the church parking lot and the Preacher just happened to see it. He said something to my dad my dad has not been back to a church since in the 32 years since that happened. As the years passed.
I still remained in church still watched my dad beat the crap out of my mom. I remember sometime around 12 or 13 years old making a promise to 4 people. First and most important The Lord, second my future wife, third my mom, forth myself. I would never lay a hand of anger on my wife to be.
In 1989 I moved to my 9th state OH. I was 15 when we moved here. We (family of 4) spent 8 days living in a Dodge Omni. Went 4 of those days with no food. Day 5 we finally got a little bit of money so my parents went to the store got lunch meat and all four of us ended up with food poisoning. After my dad’s job kicked and we had some money coming in. We stayed at a truck stop till the house was that my parents wanted was ready. While staying at this motel/truck stop my little brother was hit by a truck. He was on his death bed for several days. Doctors gave him less then 24 hours to live. The Lord pulled him through. Healed him over night. The doctors didn’t know what to say or do. They couldn’t believe how quickly he healed.
About a year later it was 2 weeks before my little brother’s 12th birthday and my 17th. I’m at work It was 18 May 1991. I remember it like it was yesterday. A police officer comes in looking for me. After my boss gets me this officer tells me that my brother shot himself. I knew was not true. So the officer rushes me to the emergency room my brother had already been pronounced dead. In fact he was DOA. A so called friend had came over to our house. Both my parents were gone. Mom was at work. Dad went to help her so she could get off early.
The one that had shot my brother had ram sacked my parent’s bed room and found my dad’s .357 and found the hollow points as well. The bullet entered under the left arm. My brother was dead before his body hit the floor.
Since this time I have been struggling with staying in church and keeping where I need to be with The Lord.
I stayed just enough to allow Him to get me through this. But didn’t feel I should do any more for him.
I stopped reading my Bible. I stopped praying all the time. I would only pray when I thought about it or wanted something.
I made a very huge mistake I no longer put The Lord first in my life. I guess I felt he didn’t deserve it for taking my brother from me.
I never did get into drugs or heavy drinking. I did drink some though. I was very angry and went to a very dark place. I was always trying to cause myself as much pain as I possible could. I would cut myself. I would smack myself all over the body with a razor blade. I survived over the years. I didn’t really live or have life. I was just there. I allowed this to almost destroy me. I finally decided that this was not going to cost me anymore of my life. I went through the motions of going to church and all that. Part of it was real but not all of it. I was there just so I could say hey Lord I’m in Your house You now have to take care of me. You have to do this for me. You have to do that for me. As all you know this is not the reason to be in church. Over the next 10 plus years I ended up getting engaged which was broke off 2 weeks later. Some details are fuzzy I have had a lot of concussions. Some of them due to sports I played baseball football I wrestled and was in track & field. Some of them were self inflected from the time I was trying to cause myself harm.
In Jan 2012 I met someone and we both claimed we were meant to be together. However I knew in my heart this was not true but I wouldn’t listen. In March of the same year I moved in with her. I was never happy from day one. It was nothing but screaming yelling and cussing with her, her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. Well going against what I knew was the right thing to do. We got married in June of 2012.
Spent the next 11 months in the same turmoil and being very unhappy. Finally in May of 2013 I felt relief. She came to me and wanted a divorce. Now I know this is not what The Bible teaches. However I do feel this was the first thing that I had done that was part of The Lord’s Will in a long time.
Since than I’ve been going to a few different churches. I am looking for MY HOME. I am ready to come home.
On 1 Sept 2013 during service I felt The Lord come through me. I rededicated my life to Him.
I am here to do His will. My life will be lived by Him from this day forward.
Will I slip and screw up again? Yes I am human. However when I do He will be there to catch me.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with all of you.
Rick
Maybe it’s cause it’s been a very long time since I’ve shared any part of my testimony. Maybe it’s someone out there that is reading this and going through the same thing I am and this will encourage them.
Maybe it’s to help myself. I really don’t know.
However I do know that He is pushing for me to do this. I’ve felt it since I got out of church this afternoon.
My testimony is no where near as “exciting” as most others you have heard and or read. I was in church for as long as I can recall. I was saved and baptized when I was 5. I was in church with both my parents up till I turned 7 or 8 years old. On the outside we were the “perfect” family. Father Mother 2 boys family dog the whole works. My parents even ran the bus ministry for the church we went to.
Well one Saturday after church my dad slapped my mom like has happened my whole life. This time it was in the church parking lot and the Preacher just happened to see it. He said something to my dad my dad has not been back to a church since in the 32 years since that happened. As the years passed.
I still remained in church still watched my dad beat the crap out of my mom. I remember sometime around 12 or 13 years old making a promise to 4 people. First and most important The Lord, second my future wife, third my mom, forth myself. I would never lay a hand of anger on my wife to be.
In 1989 I moved to my 9th state OH. I was 15 when we moved here. We (family of 4) spent 8 days living in a Dodge Omni. Went 4 of those days with no food. Day 5 we finally got a little bit of money so my parents went to the store got lunch meat and all four of us ended up with food poisoning. After my dad’s job kicked and we had some money coming in. We stayed at a truck stop till the house was that my parents wanted was ready. While staying at this motel/truck stop my little brother was hit by a truck. He was on his death bed for several days. Doctors gave him less then 24 hours to live. The Lord pulled him through. Healed him over night. The doctors didn’t know what to say or do. They couldn’t believe how quickly he healed.
About a year later it was 2 weeks before my little brother’s 12th birthday and my 17th. I’m at work It was 18 May 1991. I remember it like it was yesterday. A police officer comes in looking for me. After my boss gets me this officer tells me that my brother shot himself. I knew was not true. So the officer rushes me to the emergency room my brother had already been pronounced dead. In fact he was DOA. A so called friend had came over to our house. Both my parents were gone. Mom was at work. Dad went to help her so she could get off early.
The one that had shot my brother had ram sacked my parent’s bed room and found my dad’s .357 and found the hollow points as well. The bullet entered under the left arm. My brother was dead before his body hit the floor.
Since this time I have been struggling with staying in church and keeping where I need to be with The Lord.
I stayed just enough to allow Him to get me through this. But didn’t feel I should do any more for him.
I stopped reading my Bible. I stopped praying all the time. I would only pray when I thought about it or wanted something.
I made a very huge mistake I no longer put The Lord first in my life. I guess I felt he didn’t deserve it for taking my brother from me.
I never did get into drugs or heavy drinking. I did drink some though. I was very angry and went to a very dark place. I was always trying to cause myself as much pain as I possible could. I would cut myself. I would smack myself all over the body with a razor blade. I survived over the years. I didn’t really live or have life. I was just there. I allowed this to almost destroy me. I finally decided that this was not going to cost me anymore of my life. I went through the motions of going to church and all that. Part of it was real but not all of it. I was there just so I could say hey Lord I’m in Your house You now have to take care of me. You have to do this for me. You have to do that for me. As all you know this is not the reason to be in church. Over the next 10 plus years I ended up getting engaged which was broke off 2 weeks later. Some details are fuzzy I have had a lot of concussions. Some of them due to sports I played baseball football I wrestled and was in track & field. Some of them were self inflected from the time I was trying to cause myself harm.
In Jan 2012 I met someone and we both claimed we were meant to be together. However I knew in my heart this was not true but I wouldn’t listen. In March of the same year I moved in with her. I was never happy from day one. It was nothing but screaming yelling and cussing with her, her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. Well going against what I knew was the right thing to do. We got married in June of 2012.
Spent the next 11 months in the same turmoil and being very unhappy. Finally in May of 2013 I felt relief. She came to me and wanted a divorce. Now I know this is not what The Bible teaches. However I do feel this was the first thing that I had done that was part of The Lord’s Will in a long time.
Since than I’ve been going to a few different churches. I am looking for MY HOME. I am ready to come home.
On 1 Sept 2013 during service I felt The Lord come through me. I rededicated my life to Him.
I am here to do His will. My life will be lived by Him from this day forward.
Will I slip and screw up again? Yes I am human. However when I do He will be there to catch me.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with all of you.
Rick
