need a guy's perspective on this..

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A

AnandaHya

Guest
#21
#21
Jullianna said:
He's asking an abnormal amount of questions about other guys he knows have been in the lady's life. Seems a little odd... Do you think that indicates insecurity on some level? To ask questions in a way that make it seem that the guy is comparing himself to them?

Seems like it would be better to find ways to help him be MORE secure rather than answer questions like that.. I don't normally ask questions like that, is that normal? I dunno...maybe I'm the wierdo for not asking. :)
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lol tell said girl to talk about the perfection of JESUS without using the name of Jesus and see if he tries to be perfect like Jesus :) "questions about other guys he knows has been in the lady's life"

He knows about Jesus right :) lol. If he was an ideal to try and beat give him the Ultimate one :)

then you can show him that any person worth their salt will love the other person for THEM not who they try to be but who they really ARE! If you want to talk about love and measure it, then hold it against God's agape love and realize that we are all fall short and in need of grace :)

My husband did checks on the guys in my life while we were dating but he was more subtle about it and didn't ask me but the people around me and just meet them himself and noticed more things then I did concerning them. I didn't really notice since he checked out my friends and family too and I did the same to him and his family and friends.

I would expect more elegance then texting the questions out of the blue, it shows a lack of ......

ok that would be mean but let me say intelligent was high on my list of a required trait of my future mate.

I wanted to be able speak to my husband and not have to explain what I mean and look at him and have him be smart enough to notice I was pissed at something he just said. lol :) i try to pay attention and give him the same respect and attention :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#22
#22
Matthew said:
Put simply you can flatter his ego, that'll work with most guys......that said it'a a very bad idea that will have dire consequences if and when the relationship goes south because the house of cards will fall and the guy will be even worse off.
This will happen even if everything that's said to build him up is true, his inability or unwillingness to believe makes that irrelevant and he will feel worse.

It sounds like insecurity, he either has a control issue and needs full disclosure to give him that feeling or he has a fear of inadequacy, either way it is a red flag so proceed very slowly and cautiously.

I think there's nothing you can do, one person can't fix another person's insecurity, it is something they have to do themselves and the best anyone else can do is give support, if this guy wants a relationship with you and is seeking to scrutanise your past I'd run fast and far, seems like he has issues that aren't being dealt with and getting in a relationship won't help anyone.
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This is SO true! Thanks for the reminder, Matthew.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#23
#23
AnandaHya said:
lol tell said girl to talk about the perfection of JESUS without using the name of Jesus and see if he tries to be perfect like Jesus :) "questions about other guys he knows has been in the lady's life"

He knows about Jesus right :) lol. If he was an ideal to try and beat give him the Ultimate one :)

then you can show him that any person worth their salt will love the other person for THEM not who they try to be but who they really ARE! If you want to talk about love and measure it, then hold it against God's agape love and realize that we are all fall short and in need of grace :)

My husband did checks on the guys in my life while we were dating but he was more subtle about it and didn't ask me but the people around me and just meet them himself and noticed more things then I did concerning them. I didn't really notice since he checked out my friends and family too and I did the same to him and his family and friends.

I would expect more elegance then texting the questions out of the blue, it shows a lack of ......

ok that would be mean but let me say intelligent was high on my list of a required trait of my future mate.

I wanted to be able speak to my husband and not have to explain what I mean and look at him and have him be smart enough to notice I was pissed at something he just said. lol :) i try to pay attention and give him the same respect and attention :)
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LOL He's actually a VERY smart guy and had the class to tactfully bring the questions up over the phone, rather than text them.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#24
#24
P.S. - Just an FYI - The guy is not a CC person or it would have been very uncool for me to ask this here :)
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#25
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#25
Jullianna said:
P.S. - Just an FYI - The guy is not a CC person or it would have been very uncool for me to ask this here :)
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I dont know why but I thought this was funny.............actually if I was the guy you could probably ask it and I would never know who it was...............I would probably even have still answered the question..................lol lol lol

Jules I am going to help you out..........just forget men and buy a tractor.........think about it when they make you made you can just sell them to the nearest scrap iron dealer........problem solved...........
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#26
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#26
After reading through it, the only conclusion that I can draw is that he's testing to see if there is any further emotional attachment to the other guys.

When I ask questions about a woman's past, I'm not usually going for the bad stuff. Everyone has bad stuff. I want to know is there something else? Am I a rebound? Does she have a best friend that she dates on and off and will eventually marry? I usually want to know about emotional investment and even though she is single and willing to date, a woman may sometimes be unavailable.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#27
#27
You may be right, Hommer. Tractors do seem easier to understand. *sigh*
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#28
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#28
Jules maybe you need to look for a different type of man.............................
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#29
#29
I'm not looking, Hommer...they just seem to show up sometimes.
 
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