Hi all,
Firstly - thank you for taking a moment to click on this post. You've found me in a rough place. I have a friend, who has a girlfriend, but who I have fallen in love with. I can't shake it off, even though I know full well how destructive and foolish it is to allow these feelings and thoughts to linger and fester. They keep growing, and he is a genuine friend who cares for me as a friend should; completely naive to the fact that he is breaking my heart by his very friendship. I would talk to him and explain that being his friend is hurting me and actually making me a little crazy and unbalanced; but like I say he has a girlfriend, who is lovely and also a friend of mine (I know, I am horrible). Hence why I am posting this anonymous post on a little corner of the internet where nobody knows me - I can't talk to my friends as they know both of them and I am too ashamed. I am going to try and distance myself from him, but the thing is we are both from the same church, friendship group, and youth team within the group. I see him at least three times a week for church and/or youth related things, and potentially a fourth time some weeks (for church stuff again). In avoiding him, I will be stepping back from youth things that I really enjoy being involved in - simply because I don't have the willpower to avoid him if we are in the same place at the same time - and to be fair we are part of the same team so kind of need to talk and pray together anyway. There is one thing each week that I can forego but I don't want to lose the rest of these things as I love them and the young people I am with during them. I don't understand what is happening, why God is allowing these feelings to be in my heart. Maybe I am not as sincere as I think I am when I ask Him to take them away? Maybe part of me doesn't want to let go of this love I hide away, for whatever crazy reason. Maybe I am fighting God here without even knowing it.
If you have made it to this point - thank you even more than the first time. I really appreciate you sticking with me. Any advice or encouragement would be amazing, my heart desperately needs it right now.
Firstly - thank you for taking a moment to click on this post. You've found me in a rough place. I have a friend, who has a girlfriend, but who I have fallen in love with. I can't shake it off, even though I know full well how destructive and foolish it is to allow these feelings and thoughts to linger and fester. They keep growing, and he is a genuine friend who cares for me as a friend should; completely naive to the fact that he is breaking my heart by his very friendship. I would talk to him and explain that being his friend is hurting me and actually making me a little crazy and unbalanced; but like I say he has a girlfriend, who is lovely and also a friend of mine (I know, I am horrible). Hence why I am posting this anonymous post on a little corner of the internet where nobody knows me - I can't talk to my friends as they know both of them and I am too ashamed. I am going to try and distance myself from him, but the thing is we are both from the same church, friendship group, and youth team within the group. I see him at least three times a week for church and/or youth related things, and potentially a fourth time some weeks (for church stuff again). In avoiding him, I will be stepping back from youth things that I really enjoy being involved in - simply because I don't have the willpower to avoid him if we are in the same place at the same time - and to be fair we are part of the same team so kind of need to talk and pray together anyway. There is one thing each week that I can forego but I don't want to lose the rest of these things as I love them and the young people I am with during them. I don't understand what is happening, why God is allowing these feelings to be in my heart. Maybe I am not as sincere as I think I am when I ask Him to take them away? Maybe part of me doesn't want to let go of this love I hide away, for whatever crazy reason. Maybe I am fighting God here without even knowing it.
If you have made it to this point - thank you even more than the first time. I really appreciate you sticking with me. Any advice or encouragement would be amazing, my heart desperately needs it right now.