never had a gf. don't see much hope of ever getting one. any suggestions?

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Dec 15, 2013
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#61
Women will drive you insane if you have no friends or support system. It's nice to be able to be with other people with different personalities.
I dont think so. im perfectly willing to have just one close person in my life. But i wont be obsessive. she is free to go be alone with her friends.

Believe me, i have already driven myself insane with being so alone all these years, so no worries.
 
I

IloveyouGod

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#62
I am not surprised this reply is coming from you Jhana. You too need to read my words for him carefully. But at any case. FORGET about me. FOCUS on Jesus Christ Himself. He is PERFECT and He is the ONLY one who can solve our problems WE CANNOT solve our own problems and OTHER HUMAN BEINGS CANNOT solve our own problems either. And as long as God is not in our lives, we will end up being lonely for the rest of our lives, period.

IF both of you don't wanna believe that, then THAT'S your problem.


That's a demeaning response on several levels.

His problem IS his loneliness. His problem is that his loneliness makes him FEEL lonely. These things are called EMOTIONS. How do you expect him to believe in a loving God when you, the person promoting your version of him, don't have the empathy or understanding of a toddler?
 
I

IloveyouGod

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#63
Well said Grace. THANK YOU!! :)


Hey Arcynaculr, I saw your other post in Misc, and I've been praying for ya. Here's the deal... that loneliness you are feeling is because there's a hole in your life. Humans were created for a purpose. That purpose is to glorify a living God. To have a personal relationship with him, through Christ. When we don't fulfill what we were created for, there will be a sense of loss. Some people seem to be able to go through their lives not doing this, and never feel the loss very keenly. But others are more sensitive to what they are missing, what they NEED to be fulfilled. You seem to be one of these.

Other humans (a girlfriend, a best friend) will help, but nothing can replace what you are missing, except God himself. It looks to me as though he is hanging on to you, struggling with you so that you will notice and acknowledge him. That's a really good sign Arc. He will get what he wants in the end.

Do business with the Lord. That is the one and only solution to your sense of loneliness. Blessings to you.
 
Dec 15, 2013
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#64
It's more than that. If you do them without pinning your desire on having a female partner, you'll fulfill yourself and be happy. Then when the time comes where you attract someone else who is also fulfilled and happy, there is none of this expectation or dependency on each other to cure all your problems.

You'll be two happy people, comfortable in yourselves and great for one another.
I dont know if it can work like that for me...

And no one can solve all my problems. i dont expect that.
 
Dec 15, 2013
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#65
I've felt that too. One small act of kindness at a time man, that's all it takes. That's enough to be happy with. Be true to yourself, help who you can, when you can, and be at peace about it. The first person you need to love is you, man. If you demean yourself and bite and snap at yourself and beat yourself up because you can't save the world, you will chomp away at everything that gives you hope.
Love myself. I could never seem to do that :/
 
Feb 5, 2014
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#66
I am not surprised this reply is coming from you Jhana. You too need to read my words for him carefully. But at any case. FORGET about me. FOCUS on Jesus Christ Himself. He is PERFECT and He is the ONLY one who can solve our problems WE CANNOT solve our own problems and OTHER HUMAN BEINGS CANNOT solve our own problems either. And as long as God is not in our lives, we will end up being lonely for the rest of our lives, period.

IF both of you don't wanna believe that, then THAT'S your problem.
So we should sit and do nothing and say 'God, solve my problems'? Open your eyes. If we do nothing on this planet then nothing gets done. God didn't send us to rest on our laurels and say 'God, do this for me', 'God, do that for me'. You say on one hand that it's not God's fault he doesn't have a girl, and on the other 'if God wants you to have a girl he'll give you one'.

Never heard a more contradictory statement.

If NOBODY CAN SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS and WE CANT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS then should we just close the hospitals, psychiatrists, stop giving water to thirsty kids and let half the world stave while we pray to God for food and water?

Don't be so ridiculous.

If a man is lonely, you show him friendship, not tell him 'oh you'll be lonely forever if you don't know God who loves you'. YOU don't even love the young lad enough to offer him understanding and kindness. How do you expect him to desire YOUR god? Your philosophy is false.
 
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Dec 16, 2012
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#67
Yea... only 20... But you never know when you could die. i could die at 22. would be nice to know a special person loves me before i die...
dude for the love of God - you are 20 years old!!! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!!! You know what makes a person attractive? When they're independent, happy, free spirited and have lots of other things going on in their life! I've never met you but but just reading your posts make me cringe. Do you know who has loved you in all this time and who will never leave you?
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start being happy about things, start nurturing all areas of your life, have faith in God for this, He wants to see a positive attitude in you!!

Do you know that when we ask God for something, the whole idea is to walk away, leave it in Gods Hands and smile and be happy knowing He's doing something? He doesn't want despair, no hope or a despondent attitude He wants your FAITH in Him.

But in the mean time dude, 20 years old man, GET FREAKING HAPPY!!!!
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#68
I ALREADY said God is not our genie for us to ask Him to do what we want and what we don't want. So to answer your question, NO, we are not gonna sit there doing nothing for God to work His magic. And I definitely did not say we should close the hospitals, and doctors should stop working and all the nonsense that you've mentioned. This boy already knows I prayed for him because we communicated in his other thread in the Misc. forum.

However, both of you with this mentality and way of thinking that lacks God's existence will never get anywhere. So good luck for both of you n' I'm really sorry you guys are the way you are n' I hope n' pray that you will get it one day. You will never understand what I said unless you have God in your lives, believe it or not.

I said his real problem is not being lonely. His real problem is the none existence of God in his life. Maybe when God is in his life, he'll work on things in him and then get him that girlfriend. Anyway, like I said, I hope one day you understand at least one word of what I said.

You two make the best friends!! :D


So we should sit and do nothing and say 'God, solve my problems'. Open your eyes. If we do nothing on this planet then nothing gets done. God didn't send us to rest on our laurels and say 'God, do this for me', 'God, do that for me'. You say on one hand that it's not God's fault he doesn't have a girl, and on the other 'if God wants you to have a girl he'll give you one'.

Never heard a more contradictory statement.

If NOBODY CAN SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS and WE CANT SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS then should we just close the hospitals, psychiatrists, stop giving water to thirsty kids and let half the world stave while we pray to God for food and water?

Don't be so ridiculous.

If a man is lonely, you show him friendship, not tell him 'oh you'll be lonely forever if you don't know God who loves you'. YOU don't even love the young lad enough to offer him understanding and kindness. How do you expect him to desire YOUR god? Your philosophy is false.
 
Aug 15, 2009
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#69
I see a niche for a new career. Think I oughtta purchase a fleet of 'em?



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>JUST KIDDIN'!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<​
 
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I

iTOREtheSKY

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#70
oh my iTore - do you ...do you really think I'm original? Here's a little something about myself - ALL my stuff is stolen. I don't even know who this was from. I've never told an original joke in my life. Now - that's akin to telling people how you sawed a girl in half, but, when your hand is forced, then what else.
See,now I actually believed you when you sawed the girl in half! ;)
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
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#71
Love myself. I could never seem to do that :/
Without the love of Christ in you, it is difficult to love yourself, but it is vital that you do. Not the self-love this world proclaims, but rather the true love from 1 Corinthians 13...the selfless love, that can then be given to others. :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#72
Not to be Captain obvious here, but it's not a wonder you don't have a girlfriend. You're to busy feeling sorry for yourself.
 
Dec 15, 2013
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#73
dude for the love of God - you are 20 years old!!! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!!! You know what makes a person attractive? When they're independent, happy, free spirited and have lots of other things going on in their life! I've never met you but but just reading your posts make me cringe. Do you know who has loved you in all this time and who will never leave you?
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start being happy about things, start nurturing all areas of your life, have faith in God for this, He wants to see a positive attitude in you!!

Do you know that when we ask God for something, the whole idea is to walk away, leave it in Gods Hands and smile and be happy knowing He's doing something? He doesn't want despair, no hope or a despondent attitude He wants your FAITH in Him.

But in the mean time dude, 20 years old man, GET FREAKING HAPPY!!!!
Do you tell someone with cancer to "just get better"? No. Its the same with depression. People with depression cant "just be happy". I should know.

And that whole "being happy makes you attractive" thing is not always true. I could very easily find a depressed suicidal girl attractive, even if i was not depressed. i will not reject someone simply because they are depressed.

If you find depression cringe worthy then thats your opinion but you cant say that its a standard rule.
 
Dec 18, 2013
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#74
Well I myself had one real girlfriend at age 16 lol, so I can't say I never had a g/f but I can say its been a long time. Plus that relationship only went as far as kissing and it ended in quite an angsty drama mess pretty quickly too. To be honest for a while this upset me and bummed me out as is natural, but I ended up re-becoming friends with the girl and honestly I know so much about her life that I am actually amazingly greatful I never went any further with her. Not that I hate her nor am glad her life from what she last told me circa 5 years ago has had much dreadful harship. Indeed I pity her all the more for it and often wonder about her as I haven't talked to her for a while and hope she is better now.

For a while I wanted a girlfriend and proposed such arrangement with some fine ladies who are still my friends that are good women despite their flaws and keeping in mind we were all younger back then and much changed between then and now. All them rejected me outright lol. At first one struggles with the rejection, pretty much not mad at being rejected you just wonder what you doing wrong and how you might improve, but since those friends are still a part of the community and get to pretty much keep abreast on me local mythos, and know much about that person as a member of my community its like okay, I am actually glad we never hooked up lol, saves me much of that MTV/Jerry Springer Drama that I absolutely do not want in a marriage.

So then for last few years until back in 2013 around time I found this website and of course before I finish the Bible I fall into that Lonely Single Guy complex don't even bother trying to date. I get it, I get the mentality, but at the same time since learning more about the Bible, that there is a God, that Jesus is God and the state of our current world and time that I had to ask myself somethings and still do of course. Since I always wanted kinda selfishly to just have a good wife and a family and all that good American Dream white picket fenced goodness I never questioned that I want to marry a good woman, and even won't have sex with anyone and expect my equal half to likewise never have lay with anyone. After reading the Bible and knowing much about philosophy, history, just all the knowledge attainable and questionable I can think of and of course having so much of that answered by the many books and letters of the Bible and just the Truth shown unto my face in my time with my eyes; I am kinda unsure now whether I want to be Married or not.

I mean I personally would love to get married to a righteous and beautiful woman. What man wouldn't? At the same time though I look at myself, I look at all of humanity, I look at today, I look at the past, and I guess at the future and I have to say maybe that be unfair to a mate and unfair to myself. I just feel it would be so selfish right now while so much is happening and going to happen and while I myself am vastly unworthy still. Right now I myself have much more to learn and not only that but based off what I have learned I now have some undestanding that there is some real peril for our entire human family in our time now, but also a real chance to avoid that peril and turn back. So at the same time I am not sure if it be faithful to myself or God to just go get married and live my little American Dream fantasy while it is so readily apparant that humanity is devouring itself at a faster pace than ever just from what I do know and from what I do not know that's of course always the craziest pieces of the puzzle and since I am a piece as we all are pieces, where I fit in is also of my great interest at the moment, for I do not know, and is what I am trying to learn more about.

I think even though you (Arcy) are of a different backsground and thinking than I am, that you probably feel some of the same things or have at least felt some of the same things I felt in different periods of my life thus being able to relate somewhat. To you I say, let's just for a moment theorize that you will never have a girlfriend (if you want let's say I will never get married and have sex :) ) Remember this is just a hypothetical situation. Is this really such a depressing thing my brother? Right now we are free to learn about and help save ourselves and the people of our time era just by speaking and thinking about Jesus without any worries that the many enemies of this world could use a lover as leverage against us. This in fact makes you much more powerful as individuals than many people in this whole planet since the many enemy forces of the world could use a lover as leverage against us. Plus hey that's just going by the theory we shall never have good women mates. Perhaps that theory will not come to pass and some good women made equal to us that wanna marry us will present themselves in due time. If that theory that we will have our missing ribs is correct it be wise to try to make ourselves individually better in expectation for our theoretical future wives.
 
Jun 30, 2011
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#75
Love myself. I could never seem to do that :/
It's really self that is the problem, the good news - the Gospel - is that you don't have to worry about yourself -

Self love is why we act the way we do; the Bible says nothing good about Self

God can define us
Jesus Christ is more real than our depression
Jesus Christ never leaves us or forsakes us

And yes - I was diagnosed Bipolar, and have gone through depression and if God can get me through and save me - He can with you

I don't think people who have not gone through serious depression themselves should even answer, unless they actually care - I saw the waambulance picture - in the measure you judge... but yes even those who have gone through it can get attitudes
 
Jun 30, 2011
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#76
Do you tell someone with cancer to "just get better"? No. Its the same with depression. People with depression cant "just be happy". I should know.

And that whole "being happy makes you attractive" thing is not always true. I could very easily find a depressed suicidal girl attractive, even if i was not depressed. i will not reject someone simply because they are depressed.

If you find depression cringe worthy then thats your opinion but you cant say that its a standard rule.
I tended to do that - depressed attracts depressed - I called it the broken bird syndrome - if I can't fix myself - i can fix her... which was me trying to be a functional savior
 
Jun 30, 2011
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#77
dude for the love of God - you are 20 years old!!! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself!!! You know what makes a person attractive? When they're independent, happy, free spirited and have lots of other things going on in their life! I've never met you but but just reading your posts make me cringe. Do you know who has loved you in all this time and who will never leave you?
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start being happy about things, start nurturing all areas of your life, have faith in God for this, He wants to see a positive attitude in you!!

Do you know that when we ask God for something, the whole idea is to walk away, leave it in Gods Hands and smile and be happy knowing He's doing something? He doesn't want despair, no hope or a despondent attitude He wants your FAITH in Him.

But in the mean time dude, 20 years old man, GET FREAKING HAPPY!!!!

So you are telling him either way to follow his emotions? Which neither of them are good or Biblical

You can be happy on your way to hell, just as you can be depressed on your way to hell

Joy is probably the answer we are looking for here, and that is supernatural
 
Dec 15, 2013
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#78
Not to be Captain obvious here, but it's not a wonder you don't have a girlfriend. You're to busy feeling sorry for yourself.
I fail to see how that is relevant.

How am i feeling sorry for myself? Im just discussing/explaining my issues.

What am i supposed to do? Enlighten me.
 
Jun 30, 2011
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#79
I fail to see how that is relevant.

How am i feeling sorry for myself? Im just discussing/explaining my issues.

What am i supposed to do? Enlighten me.

Well - what do you want to do? because we can make suggestions - but unless we pull what you want to do from you, you won't do it!

That's the thing about adults - unless they see it, and own it themselves, they wont' do it

it's just how adult education works really
 
Dec 15, 2013
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#80
I tended to do that - depressed attracts depressed - I called it the broken bird syndrome - if I can't fix myself - i can fix her... which was me trying to be a functional savior
If i like a girl, i like her. happy or depressed.
But of course if you can help her feel better and she can help you feel better. seems like that would work pretty good.