Online dating questions...

[garet82]

[h=2]Online dating questions...[/h]

Here's some questions I've been wanting to ask, based on some stuff I've seen from folks who date online.

1. How emotionally attached should you get before actually meeting?

2. What does it say if both people say they love eachother before meeting?

3. Can meeting once give a couple a good idea if they'll get along?

4. Can chemistry be measured by email, chat and telephone correspondence only?

5. Do people fall in love with a person or an idea of that person before they actually meet?

6. Can you be in an exclusive relationship before you meet?

7. Is it ok to talk to more than one person that you're interested in at the same time?


Well these are hard questions but i think this all possible if you both have good communication and understand if he/she is not perfect and you both are respecting n give positive things to each others. Specially if He?she from away and from different place with you. So, Its hard but possible
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[Grace-Like-Rain]

Before anyone says anything about zombie threads... I'm glad this one resurfaced. Great questions!

 

[cinder]

Oh boy, another chance to air my opinions that are backed by absolutely zero experience!

1. How emotionally attached should you get before actually meeting?
Not sure there's a right or wrong level. I'd just say that attachment should be based on actual shared experiences and conversations. Online it's probably even more important to avoid daydreaming about how wonderful it will be and all the things you will do when you meet. But sharing can get pretty personal over the internet and that can create attachment too.

2. What does it say if both people say they love eachother before meeting?
If they're saying it 5 minutes after meeting each other online, I think that says they're both very desperate to feel loved. If they've known each other for a while, well if emotional attachment is possible then certainly love is possible. And hard to judge the wisdom of a situation without particulars.

3. Can meeting once give a couple a good idea if they'll get along?
I wouldn't base such a conclusion solely off of the impressions I got from meeting someone only once in person, but if you honestly ask and answer a lot of the right questions, then you can probably come to a good conclusion after just meeting once in person.

4. Can chemistry be measured by email, chat and telephone correspondence only?
A lot of it probably can, but I think it would be important to spend some time together and in each other's worlds / communities before making things permanent.

5. Do people fall in love with a person or an idea of that person before they actually meet?
I think people do a mixture of this in real life as well, it isn't an either or situation. But I think that it's easier to maintain a false idea of someone if you only interact with them online.

6. Can you be in an exclusive relationship before you meet?
I could. Don't think it would be my preference, but under the right circumstances it would make sense. With the caveat that once you enter into an exclusive relationship, you really ought to be making plans to meet.

7. Is it ok to talk to more than one person that you're interested in at the same time?
Honesty is key here. Relationships require a lot of trust and it is really easy to be hide things online. If someone has given me the impression that they are seriously interested in me and only me and then I find out they've been giving the same impression to several other girls, it's over. If someone is honest about his interest in several women and I'm one of them, but he's still trying to make a decision about what is the best choice; I'll respect him the more for being upfront about it and be willing to keep talking to him. (I'm really trying to figure out why I keep using a neuter they for these examples when it will only be one man at a time that I care about being interested in me)

 

[AAAPlus]

These are excellent questions!

1. How emotionally attached should you get before actually meeting?

Not very. Until you meet about 50 times, you're pretty much still strangers. Internet does not replace real life. People are different in real life, whether you want to accept that fact or not.

2. What does it say if both people say they love eachother before meeting?

They are just wanting to say that to someone, probably.

Those people should find out what "love" actually means, and they would realize that they haven't had the opportunity to love that person, having never met.

3. Can meeting once give a couple a good idea if they'll get along?

Yes, but they still can't claim to actually know each other. They've just met.

To put it in perspective, I went to Disneyland once and it was awesome. Then I went ten more times, and it was still awesome. Me and Disneyland appear to get along. But friends that work there every day assure me that you can indeed get sick of it.

4. Can chemistry be measured by email, chat and telephone correspondence only?

No. You don't know someone until you see how they conduct themselves in an non-controlled environment over a period of several months. Chat and phone are too controlled.

5. Do people fall in love with a person or an idea of that person before they actually meet?

The idea.

6. Can you be in an exclusive relationship before you meet?

Yes.

7. Is it ok to talk to more than one person that you're interested in at the same time?

Yes. Especially online, you're dealing with a complete stranger. It would be foolish to commit yourself to that stranger.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Here's some questions I've been wanting to ask, based on some stuff I've seen from folks who date online.

1. How emotionally attached should you get before actually meeting?

2. What does it say if both people say they love eachother before meeting?

3. Can meeting once give a couple a good idea if they'll get along?

4. Can chemistry be measured by email, chat and telephone correspondence only?

5. Do people fall in love with a person or an idea of that person before they actually meet?

6. Can you be in an exclusive relationship before you meet?

7. Is it ok to talk to more than one person that you're interested in at the same time?

As a person who has had several long-distance relationships started via online:

1. Enough to not regret paying the money, taking the time, and traveling. So, more than just a casual friend level of investment, but not the 'I would die for you' level. ^_^

2. Hard to say. It could say they don't know what love is. It could say how easy saying it is, but it remains to be seen. It's hard to tell. In what I considered my most intimate and dedicated relationship, she didn't say 'I love you." until about 3 or 4 months into the relationship. Some would think this fast, and others slow... We're all different.

3. No, not really. Honestly, you never know. For example, by no means do I think an unmarried couple should live together (too much temptation, not to mention 'fleeing from the very appearance of evil'), but on that note...you can never really know what it's like to live with someone until you move in together. You might have a good idea prior (same as the case of the online/LD relationship), but you never really know until you try.

4. No, and yes. In my case, same girl I referenced previously, we 'clicked'. Whether online, phone, Skype...whatever, was just a new, exciting way we grew ever closer. We spent hours of every day and night giving each other attention, and even toward a year's worth of time... Still never wanted to hang up the phone, end the chat session, etc... In other cases, maybe you can't really know unless you're physically together.

5. Both. The true test is whether or not you can reconcile the two, and get to love the person and idea of them in reality vs. a fantasy version you may have created, once and after you meet. For me, I really have no expectations nor many preconceived notions of people, so it's it's pretty easy for each to form in my head based solely on their words, actions, etc.

I've been in relationships that grew both stronger and weaker after that initial meeting. It largely, as most things, depends in the people.

6. Yes. From my side, I believe being reserved or exclusive is a choice. If this one is the one I'm 'talking with' or dating, then she's the only one. That's me, though. For others, it may be different.

7. Talk, as in, befriend, yes. Talk with dating intention, as when people say 'we're talking', then no. That seems little different to me than any other 'cheating' type situation. Monogomy = Just 1 at a time. Hopefully only 1 ever, but most of us aren't that lucky.

 

[Practice-English]

Seriously,
I don't know
what I'm really thinking
about this Topic...
I can tell that I'm only seventeen
so I want to relax and to not panic
about theses things there.
Nowadays, I see a lot of
Non-Christians relationship
unhappy 'cause of the Divorce,
the arguments, they spend their
energy to be mad and to yell to each others...
I'll finished by putting a verse..

 

[Rapunzel]

1. How emotionally attached should you get before actually meeting?

If you talk to someone for awhile prior to meeting you are more likely to see red flags. In my experience, guys that want to meet immediately just want to have sex and don't want to put in the effort of actually building a friendship or relationship. I don't think there is an exact amount of time you should wait, but it's a good idea to know someone well enough that you aren't going to waste an evening being miserable with them in person. I prefer to know I like someone before meeting them in person.

2. What does it say if both people say they love each other before meeting?

That you love each other lol. I think it is acceptable to say you love each other before meeting assuming you know each other well enough and feel that way.

3. Can meeting once give a couple a good idea if they'll get along?

Possibly, if the person turns out to be rude or something but generally I think the first time meeting is awkward so you are both probably a little shy and not very relaxed. Unless the first meet was just awful, I would say go out again just to get a better idea of what you would be like together. However, if it went great and you already know enough about them (from talking prior to meeting) then I think you would probably get along well.

4. Can chemistry be measured by email, chat and telephone correspondence only?

In my experience, you can have chemistry with someone before meeting. If it is there before you meet, it should be there after (unless the person had fake pictures and you never went on Skype or something).

5. Do people fall in love with a person or an idea of that person before they actually meet?

I think you can fall in love with the person before you meet, but I'm sure there are also people that just see what they want to in the other person and like the idea.

6. Can you be in an exclusive relationship before you meet?

Yes, you can be in an exclusive relationship before you meet, if that's what you both agree to.

7. Is it ok to talk to more than one person that you're interested in at the same time?

Interested in, yes.. "dating" no.. If you are just getting to know each other that is fine. However, if a girl is starting to really like you and you are thinking about being with someone else, then I think you have an obligation to let the girl know you are considering other girls.