Online Dating Websites

[kiwi_OT]

I dont think anyone intentionally ignored that question I think you had alot of questions in the original post and we just picked one or two to answer.

I do agree with you about asking the hard questions. THose things are important to ask anyone not just someone you meet online.

Generally online there is a guided protocal in asking questions. Eharmony lets you read each others profiles, then ask pre selected multiple choice questions then short answer or essay questions and then later you can call each other or send email. So maybe for some people they never get to that point online where they are asking those types of questions. Online is actually alot easier to weed people out. In person you may meet a "nice guy" but its usually sugar coated stuff in the beginnig before you relaize who they truely are. Online you can view their profile and see by certain answers to questions who they are. Just like the guy who was messaging me. I new from his initial profile that I wasnt interested.

How do you think online profiles and answers to multiple choice quizes and essays on themselves are as reliable compared to finding out things in person? Things like profiles, and multiple choice quizes are incrediably easy to to manipulate. So you may be weeding out the stupidly obvious ones but what about the clever, manipulative chronic liars? In person (or if you're continents apart via skype) you can see their faces, you can see the majority of their body language. People do not have the same amount of freedom of time to think carefully over questions and formulate fake scenarios without their facial expressions and long pauses giving it away.

The thing about picking out the liars from the sincere people is picking out details from what theyve written down or previously said and cheerfully throwing them in the conversation unexpectantly, and watching how they react to having things verbally thrown at them (bearing in mind you can see their face). If their genuinely sincere, they will be able to talk about it effortlessly and with passion. If their not sincere, they will verbally stumble and stutter and try to pull their "facts" back together but in a very disjointed manner while putting themselves in a trap knowing that you have figured out their lie or half truth.

 

[thimsrebma]

How do you think online profiles and answers to multiple choice quizes and essays on themselves are as reliable compared to finding out things in person? Things like profiles, and multiple choice quizes are incrediably easy to to manipulate. So you may be weeding out the stupidly obvious ones but what about the clever, manipulative chronic liars? In person (or if you're continents apart via skype) you can see their faces, you can see the majority of their body language. People do not have the same amount of freedom of time to think carefully over questions and formulate fake scenarios without their facial expressions and long pauses giving it away.

The thing about picking out the liars from the sincere people is picking out details from what theyve written down or previously said and cheerfully throwing them in the conversation unexpectantly, and watching how they react to having things verbally thrown at them (bearing in mind you can see their face). If their genuinely sincere, they will be able to talk about it effortlessly and with passion. If their not sincere, they will verbally stumble and stutter and try to pull their "facts" back together but in a very disjointed manner while putting themselves in a trap knowing that you have figured out their lie or half truth.

I never said that they were more reliable. I was just saying that there is a fair amount of weeding out before you get to that point where you meet in person. If you are trying online dating because you wanna meet "the one" then your plans are to meet them in person at some point anyway.

I am not saying that anyone should meet online and date online only. Everyone I know who has done online dating, including myself, views it as a way to meet online then date in person, not in order to have a full on relationship over the internet or phone. It is a tool to open up a larger pool of people who you may not otherwise meet.

Yes there are people who meet online and have a "relationship" for many months before ever meeting. But for me personally I will only talk to people who live close by so that if I do become interested thru initial contact then we can see each other on a regular basis.

I hope that is more clear.

 

[thimsrebma]

Shows that you cant make an effort and go out in the real world and find some1 youre compatible with so you go online as a fake most of the time, and you get to know some1 who in most cases are completely different to what they explained and you will probably be disapointed.

I think its unfair to assume that people aren't making "an effort" to meet people just because they are dating online.

I am 27 years old I have a full life, a career, attend church and fellowship, I have hobbiess and I know lots of people but I have not yet met anyone compatible. I am happy that others have met people the traditional way of just bumping into someone at the store or thru mutual friends, but it doesnt happen for everyone like that. I know several awesome couples that met online. Not because they didn't try to meet people in other ways but they dated online because they didnt meet people in other ways.

 

[Tatz]

I think its unfair to assume that people aren't making "an effort" to meet people just because they are dating online.

I am 27 years old I have a full life, a career, attend church and fellowship, I have hobbiess and I know lots of people but I have not yet met anyone compatible. I am happy that others have met people the traditional way of just bumping into someone at the store or thru mutual friends, but it doesnt happen for everyone like that. I know several awesome couples that met online. Not because they didn't try to meet people in other ways but they dated online because they didnt meet people in other ways.

True that girl...and with this day and age of skype, facebook, twitter, CC, etc...its easier dating online than those days of posting letters. I also know awesome couples, happily married who met online.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I currently use eharmony. I have never met anyone in person from there but have breifly messaged back and forth.

One of the first guys I met was professing Christ but was surely not walking the walk. First off he sent me a message that said "**** girl you fine!" as the title. here is a word for word transcript of our emails

Him: I notice that you have look at my profile and did not leave a massage. Whta you not interested.
Me: In your profile you stated that your relationship with God is very important to you. You also said one of the things you cannot live without is sex. Isn't that contradictory?
Him:What do god get to do with sex. I f you ask every on that you know that ,than tell me the responds you get. with loving sex get to do with loving god. Do you know what your asking me??????????????????????????
Me: God has to do with everything. If you truely love God then you would attempt to obey his commandments and llive as he says. That does not include boasting about fornication. No I am not perfect but I try everyday to live for and serve him. I wish you the best of luck in all future endeavours. God Bless and follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
Him:Good luck wih that I see you not the one for me. You must never had none. You are just do not have a sex drive. There are allot of people the loves god and not married and love to have sex and do it.
Me:
John 14:21, "He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me."
Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethern, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service."
Luke 6:46, "But why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?"
Him: so what is you point. Tell these to some one that cares

After that I felt there was no need to even try to get him to se how he was so wrong and fake.
Most of the other guys I have messaged have been pretty nice and Christian but just not compatible.

Yeah you two never would have worked out, You cant even type in complete understandable sentences.

As for your question kiwi. I have never done a dating website before.

 

[francina]

There is nothing I have experienced meeting someone in person that I have not experienced online. It is much safer to get to know a person online. No one can be false consistently for a very long time. You have to be attentive to how a person responds to everything not just you, how about how they treat the person taking the order from them in a fast food joint. The way they talk about their boss. How they talk about God is is all doctrine & no experience? Do they show they really have met Him , had an encounter & continue to experience His Presence. If you are that type of believer, it is really impossible to fake. You know what it takes to get to where you are in maturity & what keeps you strong in Christ, you will know if that person is walking that walk that brings change or not.
I was with a guy who told me he loved the Lord but drank a beer or two every day. That speaks to how he manages his money as well as his commitment, which was not in keeping with mine. I will never raise kids in a house where there is beer. He was so upset that the order would have something wrong with it before he ever got to window & the order was short something, like ketchup maybe. His face was a mask of rage for almost 20 minutes about having to ask for the item & how they did not know how to 'treat men with respect'. A bit overboard, no control, no self discipline, selfish, temper, abusive, with that type of control to believe he only drank 2 beers the most I would be a fool. Very immature, did not know God at all, so has no idea of how to walk in love.

Now online I chat with a guy who kept getting very excited if he asked a question & there was a full minute pause before I responded. He smoked. Same things applied, lack of self control,, bad temperament, self centered ( could not imagine that anything reasonable could be a distraction from him), a child basically. Does not know God, does not know how to love. Love is patient, kind etc.. Tried to not jump to conclusions because he might be having a bad day, I had to pray about little moments of impatience with the store clerk. We texted over the phone after the first week. He was excited about showing me his pictures one with a towel around him in the bathroom, very handsome European! Ok , only natural, I guess. I never pursued further, he is waiting on more pictures from me. I think no. I never met anyone physically that I met online yet.

I do have a good friend I chat with who lives in Texas, she met her husband through Match.com. They are happily married in their 20's.

 

[Tatz]

There is nothing I have experienced meeting someone in person that I have not experienced online. It is much safer to get to know a person online. No one can be false consistently for a very long time. You have to be attentive to how a person responds to everything not just you, how about how they treat the person taking the order from them in a fast food joint. The way they talk about their boss. How they talk about God is is all doctrine & no experience? Do they show they really have met Him , had an encounter & continue to experience His Presence. If you are that type of believer, it is really impossible to fake. You know what it takes to get to where you are in maturity & what keeps you strong in Christ, you will know if that person is walking that walk that brings change or not.
I was with a guy who told me he loved the Lord but drank a beer or two every day. That speaks to how he manages his money as well as his commitment, which was not in keeping with mine. I will never raise kids in a house where there is beer. He was so upset that the order would have something wrong with it before he ever got to window & the order was short something, like ketchup maybe. His face was a mask of rage for almost 20 minutes about having to ask for the item & how they did not know how to 'treat men with respect'. A bit overboard, no control, no self discipline, selfish, temper, abusive, with that type of control to believe he only drank 2 beers the most I would be a fool. Very immature, did not know God at all, so has no idea of how to walk in love.

Now online I chat with a guy who kept getting very excited if he asked a question & there was a full minute pause before I responded. He smoked. Same things applied, lack of self control,, bad temperament, self centered ( could not imagine that anything reasonable could be a distraction from him), a child basically. Does not know God, does not know how to love. Love is patient, kind etc.. Tried to not jump to conclusions because he might be having a bad day, I had to pray about little moments of impatience with the store clerk. We texted over the phone after the first week. He was excited about showing me his pictures one with a towel around him in the bathroom, very handsome European! Ok , only natural, I guess. I never pursued further, he is waiting on more pictures from me. I think no. I never met anyone physically that I met online yet.

I do have a good friend I chat with who lives in Texas, she met her husband through Match.com. They are happily married in their 20's.

I have met wonderful people online. WHo have become my best friends. Its true that people dont fake for a long time. You gotta be attentive to what they say how they respond and all that stuff.

 

[njam]

Heh i am here for you .it is nice to be good .get it right now

 

[error]

I currently use eharmony. I have never met anyone in person from there but have breifly messaged back and forth.

One of the first guys I met was professing Christ but was surely not walking the walk. First off he sent me a message that said "**** girl you fine!" as the title. here is a word for word transcript of our emails

Him: I notice that you have look at my profile and did not leave a massage. Whta you not interested.
Me: In your profile you stated that your relationship with God is very important to you. You also said one of the things you cannot live without is sex. Isn't that contradictory?
Him:What do god get to do with sex. I f you ask every on that you know that ,than tell me the responds you get. with loving sex get to do with loving god. Do you know what your asking me??????????????????????????
Me: God has to do with everything. If you truely love God then you would attempt to obey his commandments and llive as he says. That does not include boasting about fornication. No I am not perfect but I try everyday to live for and serve him. I wish you the best of luck in all future endeavours. God Bless and follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
Him:Good luck wih that I see you not the one for me. You must never had none. You are just do not have a sex drive. There are allot of people the loves god and not married and love to have sex and do it.
Me:
John 14:21, "He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me."
Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethern, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service."
Luke 6:46, "But why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?"
Him: so what is you point. Tell these to some one that cares

After that I felt there was no need to even try to get him to se how he was so wrong and fake.
Most of the other guys I have messaged have been pretty nice and Christian but just not compatible.

hahahahahahahaa. i can't stand guys like that.

 

[jb]

I used a site called Fusion101 for a short while some time ago, I found quite a few decent Christians on it, but I just never found one that I really clicked with, so I gave it a miss and am just waiting for the Lord to fulfill His (longtime) promise to me that He would bring that special person that He has for me, to me...has been difficult I must admit, but I am determined to see it through...

Yahweh Shalom...

 

[godsgrl6]

I thought that in our day and age, this way the way to meet Mr. Right. Boy, was I wrong! I met and dated 1 guys from "Christian" sites who ended up only being after 1 thing. God has taught me a lot, one of which is that He is not going to bring my future husband to me through a dating site. I am waiting for His best!

 

[medolina]

I met someone from a site and we start to discuss about what we are looking for in a relationship and my first concern is he is a true believer nor nit and he said that he is a true believer and involved in church ministry.. He even planed to come to visit me in my country (Indonesia) He is live in England but later he ask money from me to pay some of his bill in England.. This is usually happened in long distance relationship..... But I do believe that still a good and honest christian man are out in some where... not all man like that (hopefully)