Opinion on praying for that someone special

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Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
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#41
I'm not hung up on it. I originally pointed out that it was based on an understanding of the terms that was different from my own. As the conversation went on, you began to take personal pot shots and engage in illogical statements (ad hominems). I'm was trying to discuss a topic. You seem rather determined to make me the topic. And while that's flattering, it lends no actual credence to your original statements...which, btw, are still not factual.
Okay, lets play then. Show me the facts supporting your initial claim about pew dwellers. Then I will refute it from there.
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#42
Okay, lets play then. Show me the facts supporting your initial claim about pew dwellers. Then I will refute it from there.
Unlike you, I didn't claim my statement was a fact. It was my opinion based on anecdotal evidence.
 
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Txroads

Guest
#43
Ok..... We got decent guys and gals and not so decent guys and gals all mixed up together..... Gotcha.... So in other words whenever your ready LORD I'm ready too.... Crystal clear..... OK... Everybody play nice again!!!.... Please thank you....... Oh boy....
 
Nov 25, 2014
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#44
I've read all this kind of stuff and avoided the obvious, but I can't do it anymore.

Let's face it, nice girls tend to just sit there and feel uncomfortable while the shady bad girl gets up and about and takes your attention away. all we ever hear is how nice guys only pay attention to the bad ones...it's because they want attention.

And after they've got their taste of it, they move on to something different. They've probably done this all of their lives, and it's worked brilliantly. Nice gals should hold themselves just as responsible as nice guys or bad girls...if you want something you have to put yourself in position to be noticed. Go say hi to that guy you really like, ask him if he'd like to go to that meeting you're going to tonight, it sounds like fun! Or that group of folks at church that go out to eat afterwards, ask him along, or ask him what he's doing later, you might be surprised! You have to take some chances too! In this day and age we are all equals per feminism, so go take your share!
So, not being a man, I cannot accurately interpret how a man would perceive some of the things you suggest. From my own experience I do know that men don't necessarily view these kind of invites as romantic interest. Often they'll presume that she is just being nice, etc.

One of the things that bad boys and chaos girls are good at is initiating interest...which is a skill set. Part of the reason they are good at it is because they have a lot of practice with it. They know how to sweettalk people and they know how to read the signals that it's working.

Decent men and women sometimes end up in that "mixed signals" loop. Both are hesitating to take a chance, so both presume any interest expressed is merely friendship.

I agree with you about women taking chances. Sure it's a risk to put yourself out there. You could be rejected. But I think it's worth the risk if you meet someone decent. A little rejection never killed anyone.
 
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Txroads

Guest
#45
And we're all getting along.......
Let's all go have a banana split!...
We'll invite the good, the bad, the physically blessed and the I wasn't in line long enough folks.......
How bout it?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
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#46


One of the things that bad boys and chaos girls are good at is initiating interest...which is a skill set. Part of the reason they are good at it is because they have a lot of practice with it. They know how to sweettalk people and they know how to read the signals that it's working.

Decent men and women sometimes end up in that "mixed signals" loop. Both are hesitating to take a chance, so both presume any interest expressed is merely friendship.
This plus the fact that more decent people tend to have to consider how to deal with their own interest and emotions in an appropriate way. It's a whole lot easier to sweet talk someone into bed for a night than it is to actually care about and do right by someone else. But seeing all the baggage and crap people who choose to live like that deal with, I'll thank God for his protection and keep doing my best to do right by the people I come in contact with.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,585
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#47
Unlike you, I didn't claim my statement was a fact. It was my opinion based on anecdotal evidence.
Oh, so you can ask that of me but I cant ask that of you? WOW!!! I responded to the pew dwellers in the same manner you did. In this case then, I am done discussing this with you. You go do your thing in your own world then. At least there, you can always assume you're right.

Have a good one.
 
C

coby

Guest
#48
Some nice guys are not attractive because they are too nice. Same with nice girls I guess.
I remember my sister could get anyone she wanted with 16 and we talked about it then. You had these really friendly nice guys who would make us both go eeeeeeewwww. You know like complimenting you and only being nice. Not attractive at all. A guy who insults you and is honest and unfriendly sometimes is much more attractive. Someone doesn't necessarily need to be unfriendly, but that slimy complimenting, eeeeww.
I met one guy on a dating site. He is terrific. Looks amazing. Can't find a woman. 47 and still single. I immediately friendzoned him after sending one message back and forth. I never do that. In fact the last months I was so desperate I crushed on anything that said hi except him. There was this let's call it a bad guy, he couldn't even keep his hands with him on the first date, so then I said that to this nice guy and he said: oh yes that is bad. That's no use. I just want to be friends and walk in the wood and have a good talk. I have many female friends.
The guy was good looking, great character, but after this I looked at the pic again and thought: yeah with you I could walk through the woods for years without anything happening.
He was too nice and in fact he immediately friendzoned me while he was interested. He said he wanted to be friends. He's still a Facebook friend. He has dozens of female just friends and every time you see which ones pic he likes.
There, I said it. Don't be too nice. Go insult a woman and she wants you.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#49
There, I said it. Don't be too nice. Go insult a woman and she wants you.
idk if you really believe this or being sarcastic since tone gets lost in writing :)
 
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coby

Guest
#50
idk if you really believe this or being sarcastic since tone gets lost in writing :)
A combination. Lol don't just go insult someone for the sake of insulting, but I don't think it's wise to be too nice if you like someone. It also can't be true. Noone is nice their whole life and it doesn't improve me if someone can't tell the truth and just says: hey you should change that.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#51
if a guy insults me, it's gonna be a no from me.
 
C

coby

Guest
#52
if a guy insults me, it's gonna be a no from me.
ah maybe I'm used to it, it's Dutch. If you like someone you insult them jokingly, otherwise it's so slimy and if a guy complimented me a lot I would think something was wrong with him. A compliment is great, but I once when I was 16 had a guy who would even say I looked good if my hair was fat and stunk. Come on, he was so desperate he'd take anyone. That's also what I don't like about those 'nice' guys. Anyone will do, they please any girl just to have one, doesn't matter which one.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#53
if a guy insults me, it's gonna be a no from me.
Amen, melita.

"Negging", where you slightly insult or give backhanded compliments to attract someone else might be the absolute lamest technique I've ever heard of.

That being said, a lot of people are really into it.
 
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coby

Guest
#54
Kind is good, but nice. Jesus wasn't nice. He would take a whip and He would tell people the truth. I remember when I was very shy and had to go to a course to become more assertive, I thought I was nice, because I pleased everyone so they would like me. Then a lot would walk over me and the extraverts weren't always nice to me, so you get offended, but say nothing and hold a grudge. All those nice shy people on that course did that. They said: that's not really nice. It's very bad and sinful actually. It opened my eyes and I started to appreciate the people who told me in my face what they didn't like about me.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#55
there's a big difference between constructive criticism and plain ole mean stuff.
 
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jennymae

Guest
#56
Insults are the new black?
 
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coby

Guest
#57
Insults are the new black?
It's a Dutch way of flirting I just read. Oh this guy is so funny. He's British and lives in Holland and he exaggerates, but there is a lot of truth in it:

Dutch men on a first date:
Will treat their date*with casual indifference, including*charging them petrol money*if they have to*drive them anywhere

When it comes to emotions, Dutch men are like big, buggering blocks of ice

They will shower their dates with plenty of insults and sarcastic comments, which is their way of flirting

Bring your purse with you, that bill is going to be split down the middle
 
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Txroads

Guest
#58
Hmmm.... Don't think I could that...
Being from Texas your just brought up in a different kind a sense... The yes m'am no m'am tip your hat open the door mind your manners kinda thing is just born in you.. There ain't nothing wrong with teasing somebody about things messing around like that but down right "your wearing that?". don't think I can do... Now, kissing on the first date.. That I can do..... (please don't ban me).....
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
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#59
Ah culture differences.