"Seriously the best"?
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Hopefully when he said all that, you told him that you didn't appreciate his disrespect for any woman. I know this kind of stuff goes on a lot between guys in certain workplaces, but I can't help but think that if the other men present (who know better) would speak up in defense of the ladies in question, men would be less likely to speak so freely.
i don't know what it is going to require, but i am thinking you might need some emotional distance from this girl. seriously.
as GLR mentioned, i would be inclined to talk to the guy who made the statement. i wouldn't go run to warn her (assuming she's not a minor, or he's not planning to drug her or other illegal acts).
regardless of his immature bragging, guys say all kinds of things, some true, some not. his plans only extend to the extent that she is willing to engage in that behavior.
oh, and if a guy is predatory, like that, she will find out, usually sooner than later. in my experience, guys like that bandy about with rather thinly veiled intentions.
then it's her business how she chooses to handle it, regardless of how you feel about her. it's a private matter.
to borrow your phrase, guys don't accidentally fall into girls' pants.
as GLR mentioned, i would be inclined to talk to the guy who made the statement. i wouldn't go run to warn her (assuming she's not a minor, or he's not planning to drug her or other illegal acts).
regardless of his immature bragging, guys say all kinds of things, some true, some not. his plans only extend to the extent that she is willing to engage in that behavior.
oh, and if a guy is predatory, like that, she will find out, usually sooner than later. in my experience, guys like that bandy about with rather thinly veiled intentions.
then it's her business how she chooses to handle it, regardless of how you feel about her. it's a private matter.
to borrow your phrase, guys don't accidentally fall into girls' pants.
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That sounded very accusing grace like rain. Of course I said something. In which case he proceeded to tell me how it didn't matter if she was a Christian or not, he said he's had sex with a lot of Christian girls and they all begged him and screamed "yes" while he was having sex with them...
I think my answer is the best, beat the living $%#! out of him and as I'm standing over his half conscious body whisper in his ear "this is where you rethink your life."
I think my answer is the best, beat the living $%#! out of him and as I'm standing over his half conscious body whisper in his ear "this is where you rethink your life."
N
Hi triple-seven, I can understand that you have heard this, and you feel the need to protect your friend. And first off I do want to praise this commendable reaction to a shameful comment about another person, treating them as an object, I don't want to discourage you from reacting to that evil way of looking at another human being. However I think you really need to take a step back, first, listen the wise counsel you are getting from brothers and sisters in Christ here, when it is said speak up and say that that is a shameful way to talk about someone else (and I know this can be hard, right now I'm remembering all the times I stay quiet at work and it is something I really need to repent of and find ways to challenge such statements in a loving but firm way).
Secondly, if you believe that she might be deceived tell her, but in the end she is in charge, and whether you beat this guy up or not, you cannot run her life for her. You should act in love towards her (and I might add towards this man to, don't accept his sin and shameful attitude, but embrace the person) which means giving her the respect as a adult and child of God empowered to make her decisions on such things, and the Holy Spirit gives her discernment in such situations. If she is truly like you say she is, she won't fall for his false lines and certainly not him, and you can't be someone who would make her decisions for her, that robs her of her humanity, which is what Jesus died and rose to give us back in it's fullness.
And I think you really need to listen to those above, your emotions over this girl are causing you to lost all objectively, you litterly thinking of beating another human being to near death to force him to not think about attempting ask a person out (even if it is to just sleep with her in such a way, he is not going to be hiding this), and this is going to get him to change his attitude and see the call of Jesus to repent and follow Him?
No you really need to step back from this girl now, your emotions over her or overidding any rational judgement you are having in this situation, and you are trying to run her life as well, if you love step back, be there for her as Friend and as a brother in the Messiah, you are not her husband and you do not have the right to run this siltation for her. That isn't love, that's manipulating control.
For your sake, hers, and even this man at your work, step back please, take a deep breathe and turn to God to give you strength and discerning judgement to act in a restorative and constructive manner in this situation, bringing the love of Christ and His wisdom into this.
So I'll finish it off be say, for all involved, you need to step back and now, you are way to caught in over your head in this, please listen to the counsel of your brothers and sisters here, and please go talk to your pastor or a mature Christian you trust over this, because I think you also need someone to come alongside you and help you through this, and please turn to God and ask for Him to give you peace and clear mind in this situation.
God bless you, and keep you from destructive paths my brother.
Secondly, if you believe that she might be deceived tell her, but in the end she is in charge, and whether you beat this guy up or not, you cannot run her life for her. You should act in love towards her (and I might add towards this man to, don't accept his sin and shameful attitude, but embrace the person) which means giving her the respect as a adult and child of God empowered to make her decisions on such things, and the Holy Spirit gives her discernment in such situations. If she is truly like you say she is, she won't fall for his false lines and certainly not him, and you can't be someone who would make her decisions for her, that robs her of her humanity, which is what Jesus died and rose to give us back in it's fullness.
And I think you really need to listen to those above, your emotions over this girl are causing you to lost all objectively, you litterly thinking of beating another human being to near death to force him to not think about attempting ask a person out (even if it is to just sleep with her in such a way, he is not going to be hiding this), and this is going to get him to change his attitude and see the call of Jesus to repent and follow Him?
No you really need to step back from this girl now, your emotions over her or overidding any rational judgement you are having in this situation, and you are trying to run her life as well, if you love step back, be there for her as Friend and as a brother in the Messiah, you are not her husband and you do not have the right to run this siltation for her. That isn't love, that's manipulating control.
For your sake, hers, and even this man at your work, step back please, take a deep breathe and turn to God to give you strength and discerning judgement to act in a restorative and constructive manner in this situation, bringing the love of Christ and His wisdom into this.
So I'll finish it off be say, for all involved, you need to step back and now, you are way to caught in over your head in this, please listen to the counsel of your brothers and sisters here, and please go talk to your pastor or a mature Christian you trust over this, because I think you also need someone to come alongside you and help you through this, and please turn to God and ask for Him to give you peace and clear mind in this situation.
God bless you, and keep you from destructive paths my brother.
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and exactly whom are you doing that for???
i get your frustration and lack of tolerance for a creepy guy who has designs on a girl who you're fond of. i really do.
but i can tell you one thing, IF you're ever to have a relationship with this girl (or even a deeper friendship), and i were that girl, and i found out you did that, i'd be nothing short of horrified. i'd be disappointed that you couldn't conduct yourself with more self control. i'd also be disappointed that you'd had so little faith in my own ability to take care of myself around smarmy creeps, in spite of my misfortune of mistaking him for an honorable guy. if i was choosing to be with him, even if he's a loser, he's my loser (at least for the moment). and i would feel like you're not respecting my decisions.
and i'd also be creeped out, but that's me.
playing the hero to her damsel only works when she's interested in casting you in that role. : )
i get your frustration and lack of tolerance for a creepy guy who has designs on a girl who you're fond of. i really do.
but i can tell you one thing, IF you're ever to have a relationship with this girl (or even a deeper friendship), and i were that girl, and i found out you did that, i'd be nothing short of horrified. i'd be disappointed that you couldn't conduct yourself with more self control. i'd also be disappointed that you'd had so little faith in my own ability to take care of myself around smarmy creeps, in spite of my misfortune of mistaking him for an honorable guy. if i was choosing to be with him, even if he's a loser, he's my loser (at least for the moment). and i would feel like you're not respecting my decisions.
and i'd also be creeped out, but that's me.
playing the hero to her damsel only works when she's interested in casting you in that role. : )
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S
This this this. SO much this.
If this woman needs all this attention and she has a boyfriend, she's in danger zone territory. She's either not happy with her current boyfriend and waiting for someone else to ask her out so she can dump him (which is a horrible thing to do and a really bad sign), or she's attached to a guy who's not pulling his weight in the relationship, which is also a bad sign, since that means she can sure pick "winners."
Or, she's going to other guys for emotinal fullfillment because there is something lacking in her romantic relationship, also a bad sign.
Or, the OP could just be in "hey, I think she likes me territory." I love the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when he tells Deborah that the bank teller was checking him out and she says "she has a lazy eye Ray."
If this woman needs all this attention and she has a boyfriend, she's in danger zone territory. She's either not happy with her current boyfriend and waiting for someone else to ask her out so she can dump him (which is a horrible thing to do and a really bad sign), or she's attached to a guy who's not pulling his weight in the relationship, which is also a bad sign, since that means she can sure pick "winners."
Or, she's going to other guys for emotinal fullfillment because there is something lacking in her romantic relationship, also a bad sign.
Or, the OP could just be in "hey, I think she likes me territory." I love the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when he tells Deborah that the bank teller was checking him out and she says "she has a lazy eye Ray."
I'm sorry that it came across that way. I meant it more generally (speaking of men in the workplace where this kind of talk is common), not directed toward you yourself. I'm glad you said something to him.
While I think it's kind of you to want to defend her honor, if I were the lady in question it would also make me feel a bit objectified. When I was dating my ex-husband, there was another guy that I worked with who kept hanging around me. I simply ignored him. He was more like an irritating little brother than a threat to my relationship. My then-boyfriend, instead of talking with me about how to handle the situation, decided to hunt the guy down and threaten/scare him. I didn't feel championed. I felt like an object being fought over. It was... humiliating, if that makes sense. It was a pride issue, for both of them. I didn't really feel like it even had anything to do with me as a person. I don't believe that you feel that way about this woman at all, but if you go behind her back and threaten or attack him, you can bet that SHE will feel that way. She is an adult who can make her own decisions.
If it MUST be addressed, perhaps a cautious "I don't think that guy's intentions toward you are honorable" should suffice.
While I think it's kind of you to want to defend her honor, if I were the lady in question it would also make me feel a bit objectified. When I was dating my ex-husband, there was another guy that I worked with who kept hanging around me. I simply ignored him. He was more like an irritating little brother than a threat to my relationship. My then-boyfriend, instead of talking with me about how to handle the situation, decided to hunt the guy down and threaten/scare him. I didn't feel championed. I felt like an object being fought over. It was... humiliating, if that makes sense. It was a pride issue, for both of them. I didn't really feel like it even had anything to do with me as a person. I don't believe that you feel that way about this woman at all, but if you go behind her back and threaten or attack him, you can bet that SHE will feel that way. She is an adult who can make her own decisions.
If it MUST be addressed, perhaps a cautious "I don't think that guy's intentions toward you are honorable" should suffice.
I'll be honest, I think Christians lack a back-bone these days, since when did defending honor and standing for righteousness and justice become something that we frown upon??? Common courtesy and fake smiles, peace and tolerance, you really think that is the message that Jesus preached???
So many Christians these days aren't even Christians, they are more like buddhist monks who practice peace, balance and harmony with a world that is in DIRECT opposition with the God they "serve".
I'm not going to fight someone just because of something he said. I will warn him first. And if he wants to continue to act like a predator, I will ask him if he wants to settle this like men. The state I live in is a mutual agreement fight state that means BY LAW I can fight this guy if he agrees to it, and I have done nothing wrong. I'm so sick of this sissy, pretense of a watered-down form of Christianity that I'm sure makes God want to vomit. Since when did speaking the truth and calling it like it is become a sin? Love always protects. Do not get in a battle over God's word with me, you will lose.
So many Christians these days aren't even Christians, they are more like buddhist monks who practice peace, balance and harmony with a world that is in DIRECT opposition with the God they "serve".
I'm not going to fight someone just because of something he said. I will warn him first. And if he wants to continue to act like a predator, I will ask him if he wants to settle this like men. The state I live in is a mutual agreement fight state that means BY LAW I can fight this guy if he agrees to it, and I have done nothing wrong. I'm so sick of this sissy, pretense of a watered-down form of Christianity that I'm sure makes God want to vomit. Since when did speaking the truth and calling it like it is become a sin? Love always protects. Do not get in a battle over God's word with me, you will lose.