should i give up on him?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
V

voiceoftruth

Guest
#1
#1
I have liked the same guy for over 4 years now. He is a really good friend of mine. We often talk about the bible together and what we are learning about God. he has some really good qualities I see in him. I have watched how he interacts with other women and his family members. Nothing has disappointed me. I have been praying about it a lot. I have no clue if he likes me back or not. I was wondering is it worth liking him still? Should I continue to wait for him?
 
W

wolfywolfs

Guest
#2
#2
voiceoftruth said:
I have liked the same guy for over 4 years now. He is a really good friend of mine. We often talk about the bible together and what we are learning about God. he has some really good qualities I see in him. I have watched how he interacts with other women and his family members. Nothing has disappointed me. I have been praying about it a lot. I have no clue if he likes me back or not. I was wondering is it worth liking him still? Should I continue to wait for him?
Click to expand...
what if hes waiting for you and thinking the same thing soemtimes in life you have to take risks and make the first move if he doesnt like u back yes things may be akward for a while but if u both treausre ur friendship ull get passed it
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#3
wolfywolfs said:
what if hes waiting for you and thinking the same thing soemtimes in life you have to take risks and make the first move if he doesnt like u back yes things may be akward for a while but if u both treausre ur friendship ull get passed it
Click to expand...
I second what the wolf said.
 
V

Vinifera

Guest
#4
#4
There was a man who didn't have the courage to say 'I Love You'; the lady ended up marrying another man because she thought that he had never loved her. He regretted it.
 
J

jonnoboy

Guest
#5
#5
I agree with my fellow english bud Wolfy.... Life is too short, take risks but prepare yourself at the same time, if it doesnt go ur way but you are only 22 so have plenty of years ahead....you only get out what you put in....so go for it gal....god bless

jonno
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#6
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#6
zeroturbulence said:
I second what the wolf said.
Click to expand...

I third.

Make the first move, you have liked him for 4 years. Let him know you like him and see what he thinks, if he isn't interested then no worries, you can remain good friends and move on.
 
D

Duggar

Guest
#7
#7
Hello, I'm not single --I have found a great Christian man (the one of my dreams who I have been married to now for almost 2 amazing years)...I was in a similar situation once...speaking from experience...I would pray about it, ask God what would be best, see what He wants, also I would encourage you to talk it over with your parents and let them know who you are interested in, they know you very well, because you are there's so they will be able to tell who is right for you and who isn't however...if they seem to not be sensitive to your feelings about this...then I would encourage you to go back to God again...and pray, be patient, and wait on the Lord. God knows the desires of your heart. :) I wouldn't make the first move -that is not the job of the lady, the man should make that first move. Be patient, pray, trust God, and know that He knows what's best for you -better than you do. This sounds like a good Christian guy. I'm happy to hear that :) Also, I believe you should consider asking yourself, and check your heart and your motives before making a decision. Ask yourself, why do I like this guy? Do I get a long with his parents? Does he get along with mine? (This is very important...that your families mesh well together and get along)...I would also mention...if you are wanting to court this guy just to court him, or just to date him...and have absolutely no intention of marrying this guy --than you have no business even thinking about Courting him (or dating). Why? Because the whole reason of Courting is to see if that person is the person God wants you to marry one day. You've heard me mention Courting and dating and may be thinking what is Courting? Or what is the difference between courting and dating? Well, Dating I highly believe (Which I have unfortunately dated before I met my Husband) practices for divorce...I say that because - you hook up with a guy, then break up, hook up, break up, hook up, break up...and you know what comes next...it's just a repetitive cycle of endless heartbreak...To prevent that I would encourage you to Court. Now, courting is much different than dating...Dating is where you follow your own heart, and make your own decision on who you want to date...when in Courting, Courting is rather praying, and asking God to send you the person that you are to marry. For myself, my dad and I prayed together, I had asked my dad (all the while feeling pretty guilty from my past 'relationships'...and I told him that I really really wanted a Christian boyfriend, if not that...at least a very strong Christian make friend. My dad smiled and said....alright how bout' we pray about this...so we prayed that God would send my way a good Christian boyfriend. And low and behold...about 2 weeks or so later....I met Him! I met the young man (who is now my Husband!) at Church, we got to talking, became friends...and voila! lol...God worked out all the rest! :) So, to some it all up, I def. would encourage you to be patient, pray seek God's Kingdom first, and all the rest will follow! (And if you can...talk it over with your parents, or maybe even your pastor or a trusted Christian friend who is mature and can really help you)...Well, God Bless You! I hope this helped some! Sincerely, -Duggar
 
Red33

Red33

Banned
#8
Jun 24, 2010
3,822
19
0
#8
A young man, who had intergrity, had a dilemma. There were three women who truely loved him and he did know what to do concerning these women. He considered spending time with each and then making his choice, but that would result in offending the other two so he dismissed that. He prayed and this was the wisdom he exercised. He favoured none of them but let there be a space of time to test these women and those that lost their desire and directed it toward another are not in your favour.

Well, over the next year two lost their desire and the one who remained in her desire toward him were married. Love is patient and lonsuffering. If your desire is unquenchable toward him, stay pure and be faithful to God in that desire. If he marries another, God will give you the desire for another man, and you will not have to live in any regrets, which means don't think that you lost the one you were to marry. Let your desire be toward the Lord and to do what is pleasing in His sight.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#9
#9
You'd think after 4 years if he liked you, he woulda hinted at it or something. I dunno, i find that odd. If you really wanna know just ask...
 
G

gcooldude

Guest
#10
#10
Take the chance and make a move, like others have said he might feel the same way. You don't want to move on and then regret making a move. And if he doesn't feel the same it might be weird, but if you two treasure your 4 year friendship you won't let anything ruin that.
 
V

voiceoftruth

Guest
#11
#11
Duggar said:
Hello, I'm not single --I have found a great Christian man (the one of my dreams who I have been married to now for almost 2 amazing years)...I was in a similar situation once...speaking from experience...I would pray about it, ask God what would be best, see what He wants, also I would encourage you to talk it over with your parents and let them know who you are interested in, they know you very well, because you are there's so they will be able to tell who is right for you and who isn't however...if they seem to not be sensitive to your feelings about this...then I would encourage you to go back to God again...and pray, be patient, and wait on the Lord. God knows the desires of your heart. :) I wouldn't make the first move -that is not the job of the lady, the man should make that first move. Be patient, pray, trust God, and know that He knows what's best for you -better than you do. This sounds like a good Christian guy. I'm happy to hear that :) Also, I believe you should consider asking yourself, and check your heart and your motives before making a decision. Ask yourself, why do I like this guy? Do I get a long with his parents? Does he get along with mine? (This is very important...that your families mesh well together and get along)...I would also mention...if you are wanting to court this guy just to court him, or just to date him...and have absolutely no intention of marrying this guy --than you have no business even thinking about Courting him (or dating). Why? Because the whole reason of Courting is to see if that person is the person God wants you to marry one day. You've heard me mention Courting and dating and may be thinking what is Courting? Or what is the difference between courting and dating? Well, Dating I highly believe (Which I have unfortunately dated before I met my Husband) practices for divorce...I say that because - you hook up with a guy, then break up, hook up, break up, hook up, break up...and you know what comes next...it's just a repetitive cycle of endless heartbreak...To prevent that I would encourage you to Court. Now, courting is much different than dating...Dating is where you follow your own heart, and make your own decision on who you want to date...when in Courting, Courting is rather praying, and asking God to send you the person that you are to marry. For myself, my dad and I prayed together, I had asked my dad (all the while feeling pretty guilty from my past 'relationships'...and I told him that I really really wanted a Christian boyfriend, if not that...at least a very strong Christian make friend. My dad smiled and said....alright how bout' we pray about this...so we prayed that God would send my way a good Christian boyfriend. And low and behold...about 2 weeks or so later....I met Him! I met the young man (who is now my Husband!) at Church, we got to talking, became friends...and voila! lol...God worked out all the rest! :) So, to some it all up, I def. would encourage you to be patient, pray seek God's Kingdom first, and all the rest will follow! (And if you can...talk it over with your parents, or maybe even your pastor or a trusted Christian friend who is mature and can really help you)...Well, God Bless You! I hope this helped some! Sincerely, -Duggar
Click to expand...
hey thanks! My parents are divorced. Not sure how well they no me. I haven't lived with them for a long time. I have talked to one of my really good Christian friends about it and another christian couple who met him they liked him. My parents aren't christian so it hard to talk to them about that kind of stuff. I know This guy I like really cares about my family and likes them too. He has met pretty much all of them and asks about them lots and prays for them.

I wouldn't wanna just date him either. I sometimes can't imagine myself with anyone else other then him.
But I don't think he likes me that way...its hard to tell
 
V

voiceoftruth

Guest
#12
#12
Red33 said:
A young man, who had intergrity, had a dilemma. There were three women who truely loved him and he did know what to do concerning these women. He considered spending time with each and then making his choice, but that would result in offending the other two so he dismissed that. He prayed and this was the wisdom he exercised. He favoured none of them but let there be a space of time to test these women and those that lost their desire and directed it toward another are not in your favour.

Well, over the next year two lost their desire and the one who remained in her desire toward him were married. Love is patient and lonsuffering. If your desire is unquenchable toward him, stay pure and be faithful to God in that desire. If he marries another, God will give you the desire for another man, and you will not have to live in any regrets, which means don't think that you lost the one you were to marry. Let your desire be toward the Lord and to do what is pleasing in His sight.
Click to expand...
Thank you soo much!! this is the best advice yet! :)very encouraging
 
V

voiceoftruth

Guest
#15
#15
Plus he could have dropped hints with out me realizing it haha. I have caught him look at me this certain way a few times before.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#17
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#17
voiceoftruth said:
Plus he could have dropped hints with out me realizing it haha. I have caught him look at me this certain way a few times before.
Click to expand...
Now thats possible, but still you will never know unless you ask him. By now its safe to say he's probably not going to make the first move. Giving in to your fear will just make you unhappy. The thing people always regret on their deathbed is not trying for something they really wanted.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.