Should we be looking for the one, or one the few that God says is good match for us?

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dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#1
May 4, 2009
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#1
Basically, I'm just asking there is one person that God has predestined us to marry. Or if it's a just a choice one of many partners God says is good match for us.


I'm kinda thinking it's we chose one of many people to many(Hopefully one that God is a good match for us.)

I'm thinking since God gave us free will. Under the context of God having one exact person for each of us planned. I mean it's possible for one or both people to come completely of course from God's plan causing the the two people to never meat us. Even if one them come back to God, the other one might died, or is married by then. Causing the other one to be alone.

Then there's the possibility of it being one person choosing from a possible many to marry. That way as you go through life, missing God at times, but still trying to follow God. You'll be missing partners to choose from, but it wouldn't be a problem since there are other people around that would God would say is good match and lead to you marry.


Some Bible examples for this:
Matthew 19:9(Though it's pretty safe that God would would have forgiveness between the couple instead of divorce(Malachi 2:16))
Matthew 22:30

Well, there is the fact that God knows the future, so he'll who we will end up with. But that takes all the fun out this. And then there's the fact that, that won't really help us right now.


Just curious what you guys think.
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#2
#2
Re: Should we be looking for the one, or one the few that God says is good match for

Nooo... If your theory were true then God would be an unjust, unloving and very cruel to let people like widows be forced to believe that because their spouse is dead there is no one else there for them. Its a sick puerile concept made up by people who read too much Mills and Boon novels while listeing to Sinead O'Connor.

Many of us a married to people we may have regretted married, but the thing is God commands us to love them regardless of how it started. We can't just go and divorce each other because we're not "soul mates." Soul mate sounds like something Kim Kardashian invented. The thing is, we're all sinners so being married is gonna be wonderful but it will also really suck at times. And thats what counts. Gods list of requirements for partners are in the bible. Im pretty sure there is absolutely no concept or word meaning soul mate in there except where it concerns us as humans and the Holy Spirit. HE is our only "soul mate". And as men and women, technically speaking we are all incompatible with each other. Has anyone noticed that fact? If men and women were compatible there would not be a marriage/relationship self help section at the bookstore. And since we are not perfectly compatible how can you be soul mates?

This is exactly the kind of thing, that certainly won't help you get a girlfriend let alone a wife, because you're over analysing something so simple. Sounds like your asking biblical permission to be fussy and turn down decent girls for... Wait for it.... (*Twilight voice)... "The one...."
 
C

Crossfire

Guest
#3
#3
dothackzero said:
Basically, I'm just asking there is one person that God has predestined us to marry. Or if it's a just a choice one of many partners God says is good match for us.


I'm kinda thinking it's we chose one of many people to many(Hopefully one that God is a good match for us.)

I'm thinking since God gave us free will. Under the context of God having one exact person for each of us planned. I mean it's possible for one or both people to come completely of course from God's plan causing the the two people to never meat us. Even if one them come back to God, the other one might died, or is married by then. Causing the other one to be alone.

Then there's the possibility of it being one person choosing from a possible many to marry. That way as you go through life, missing God at times, but still trying to follow God. You'll be missing partners to choose from, but it wouldn't be a problem since there are other people around that would God would say is good match and lead to you marry.


Some Bible examples for this:
Matthew 19:9(Though it's pretty safe that God would would have forgiveness between the couple instead of divorce(Malachi 2:16))
Matthew 22:30

Well, there is the fact that God knows the future, so he'll who we will end up with. But that takes all the fun out this. And then there's the fact that, that won't really help us right now.


Just curious what you guys think.
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I believe that if two people are willing to put God first in all that they do and are willing to put the concerns and needs of the other before their own, then I don't see why two people from two very different backgrounds could not have a fulfilling, worth while relationship.

Each and every one of us are unique in our own perspectives and experiences. The odds of finding someone with the exact sames perspectives and interests are slim to none. There are no perfect people thus finding the perfect match is highly improbable. I've found that those who are looking for a 'perfect match' usually are not looking for the things of God in another individual, but rather the desires of their own flesh.

I believe that our in finding a mate should not be finding the perfect match but rather finding someone who understands 'perfect surrender'.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#4
Aug 2, 2009
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#4
It has nothing to do with pre-destination or God pairing us up with "the one". There are no couples in the bible where God said "I made this person especially for you" or anything like that. We get that idea from fairy tales and books and movies. All we need do is find someone we are compatible with. Its all about compatibility.

God bless.
 
S

See_KING_Truth

Guest
#5
#5
Re: Should we be looking for the one, or one the few that God says is good match for

Soulmates are a teaching of the New Age movement, which is clearly occultic in nature. A man/woman who believes that they have a predestined person or soulmate in the world is more likely to jump from one relationship to the next in order to find " the one". That person may find somebody who they believe is their soulmate, marry them shortly after, and find out that they are not the one and file for divorce. I can boldly say that God would not approve of such negligence.
 
C

Crossfire

Guest
#6
#6
See_KING_Truth said:
Soulmates are a teaching of the New Age movement, which is clearly occultic in nature. A man/woman who believes that they have a predestined person or soulmate in the world is more likely to jump from one relationship to the next in order to find " the one". That person may find somebody who they believe is their soulmate, marry them shortly after, and find out that they are not the one and file for divorce. I can boldly say that God would not approve of such negligence.
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Amen. Both you and Zero have made very valid points.
 
N

niceguyJ

Senior Member
#7
Feb 5, 2011
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#7
When I was younger, I did believe in "the one", but not the whole soulmate thing. My thinking was God created that special one for me, yadda yadda.or something like that... My thinking changed over time though. "The one" is quite the romantic notion isn't it? So I can see why someone would want to hold to that.
Now I believe there are different people we could have a successful marriage with. Of course God is all knowing, so He already knows what is going to happen. There is no denying that. I think He knows what kind of person is best for us so we should do our best to listen to His guidance.

That person you're with would know that you chose THEM, even though you could've chosen to be with someone else. That's pretty amazing to me.
 
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LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#8
Feb 10, 2008
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#8
God has demonstrated throughout the Bible an idea of "the one". He is "the one"; comparisons are drawn between our relationship with God, and with the relationship of marriage.

God has shown that He desires to be the one and only king, the one and only master, and He desires all of our heart. And yet, we also see that He realizes that it isn't always beneficial to live like this. He does provide companionship here on earth (starting with Eve). Is it such a stretch, then, to think that the idea of "the one" would get completely thrown out the window just because God has made a minor concession? It seems to me that God would continue to encourage humanity to follow the pattern of relationships that God presented. One man, one God. One man, one woman.

That said, my idea of "the one", what i believe to be God's view also, is not the " idea from fairy tales and books and movies"; it isn't even that "God created that special one for me". No, it is God looked at the world and saw that it wasn't good for me to be alone. He saw a woman whom I could help and guide. A woman who would challenge and support me. A woman who He could bear to share my heart with.

Do I think that God has "the one" for everyone? Absolutely not. Do I think "the one" was created for me? No way! Do I think that I could miss "the one" and spend the rest of my life alone, or with someone else? Yes, I know I don't always follow God's will. Do I think I will have a perfect marriage if I find "the one"? Ha!! Do I think God will leave any room for doubt about who "the one" is? No way! Will I spend the rest of my life seeking God's heart so I hopefully don't miss "the one"? ABSOLUTELY!

In the end, the fact that God knew both you and your spouse intimately and brought you together in spite of your weaknesses is a powerful thought. That it wasn't just your own temporary feelings, that it wasn't just your own weak intellect, but that it was something greater that brought you together is a fantastic idea. It leaves little room for thoughts of leaving, provides reassurance in times of weakness. And yet, it gives all of the greatness to God. It simultaneously encourages great love between the man and the woman and keeps God as the true source and recipient of that love. I see no greater expression of God's love than to provide (for those people who benefit from it) "the one" for those He loves.
 
V

violakat

Guest
#9
#9
zeroturbulence said:
It has nothing to do with pre-destination or God pairing us up with "the one". There are no couples in the bible where God said "I made this person especially for you" or anything like that. We get that idea from fairy tales and books and movies. All we need do is find someone we are compatible with. Its all about compatibility.

God bless.
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Wait a minute, wait a minute, there are no Couples where God did that? Are you sure about that? hmmm

If that is true, then Lillith must have been real and Adam choose Eve instead.
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I personally believe in both concepts, to an extent. We Isaac and Rebecca. If you remember, the servant prayed for God to show him the one he needed to bring back to Isaac, by a test. Rebecca was the only one who passed that test. But at the same time, we do see people getting remarried after their spouse died, or divorced. It's more that I think God has a perfect plan, and then an acceptable will. We either choose to trust God, or we choose for ourselves. Either way, work will still be involved.
 
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C

Catlynn

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#10
#10
violakat said:
Wait a minute, wait a minute, there are no Couples where God did that? Are you sure about that? hmmm

If that is true, then Lillith must have been real and Adam choose Eve instead.
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I personally believe in both concepts, to an extent. We Isaac and Rebecca. If you remember, the servant prayed for God to show him the one he needed to bring back to Isaac, by a test. Rebecca was the only one who passed that test. But at the same time, we do see people getting remarried after their spouse died, or divorced. It's more that I think God has a perfect plan, and then an acceptable will. We either choose to trust God, or we choose for ourselves. Either way, work will still be involved.
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I agree with this. ^_^

God knows us so well, every detail of our lives. Who are we to say or know that there isn't one person out there who WOULD be perfect for us? I don't think, however, that we would necessarily be condemned/unhappy/unfruitful if we happen to settle earlier or at the wrong time for someone else. It COULD be bad and certainly not His best but God can work in and through anyone. I'm just saying that He probably does know of someone who would be a perfect match for you, to come alongside you and bring Him glory and honor. XD Oh! Also, I think that "the one" can probably also change, depending on the choices we make throughout our lives and the people we become. :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#11
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#11
violakat said:
Wait a minute, wait a minute, there are no Couples where God did that? Are you sure about that? hmmm

If that is true, then Lillith must have been real and Adam choose Eve instead.
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I personally believe in both concepts, to an extent. We Isaac and Rebecca. If you remember, the servant prayed for God to show him the one he needed to bring back to Isaac, by a test. Rebecca was the only one who passed that test. But at the same time, we do see people getting remarried after their spouse died, or divorced. It's more that I think God has a perfect plan, and then an acceptable will. We either choose to trust God, or we choose for ourselves. Either way, work will still be involved.
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Yes God made Eve for Adam, but He only did it because Adam literally had no one around to help him. Adam was lucky, but then Eve caused them both to sin and be punished. So much for "having the perfect mate" theory.

I don't have any problem with the way Isaac found Rebecca. He left the choice of a wife up to God and simply asked for a sign so he will know who God wants him to marry. A godly man should leave every choice in life up to God. Note that this is not the same as saying that God made Rebecca specifically for Isaac, although in this particular case given the importance of their relationship in biblical history I wouldn't be surprised if God did in fact make her for him, but we can't really be sure of that. For the rest of us who aren't prophets, God probably wants us to pray for a sign like Isaac did, and then He will show us one who He has picked for us (not created for us) to marry. But then again who would be bold enough to act upon that sign when it comes. Lets not forget too that Isaac had to suffer for many years before he was allowed to marry Rebecca. He did not just say "oh well, this is just not going to work out at all."
 
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J

Jullianna

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#12
#12
I think there is someone that God has in mind for each of us as part of His perfect plan for our lives and I think we should be lifting that person up in prayer even now:
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Like so many things in our christian walk, there is a perfect will of God for us and a permissable will. (I can give examples if requested, but I don't want to derail my train of thought at the moment; one of them would be included in the explanation Jesus gave re: divorce)

If we aren't willing to wait, we CAN make it work with someone else who can be very compatible with us. Making it work just doesn't cut it for me, but some people are "happy enough" with this arrangement. Take a look at the Jacob/Leah/Rachel situation. Jacob loved Rachel enough to work 7 more years for her. How many guys would do that today or be willing to wait that long? That's POWERFUL love. In the meantime, he "made it work" with Leah. I would imagine that was a hoot for Leah, don't you? :rolleyes:

I'm not sure what the term "soul mate" means as discussed above, so I really can't address it. I do know there are people out there who would be our perfect other half in becoming one. They are gifted in areas we lack and lacking in areas we can fill. I found one. I believe there are others, even if it is just one. :) I don't think anyone was "created" for me though, as we were all created for the purpose of glorifying and worshipping God, not ourselves.

Gabe...please don't make me go into the "if Adam had taken headship over Eve instead of obeying her re: original sin we wouldn't be in this mess" thing. ;)
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#13
#13
violakat said:
Wait a minute, wait a minute, there are no Couples where God did that? Are you sure about that? hmmm

If that is true, then Lillith must have been real and Adam choose Eve instead.
----------
I personally believe in both concepts, to an extent. We Isaac and Rebecca. If you remember, the servant prayed for God to show him the one he needed to bring back to Isaac, by a test. Rebecca was the only one who passed that test. But at the same time, we do see people getting remarried after their spouse died, or divorced. It's more that I think God has a perfect plan, and then an acceptable will. We either choose to trust God, or we choose for ourselves. Either way, work will still be involved.
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Difference between today and Adam and Eve's situation was that they were the only version of their own sex. They didn't have any choice lol. And God also made Adam and Eve perfect without sin. After sin enters the world we essentially ruin the whole soul mate thing.
 
C

CC_Bride

Guest
#14
#14
zeroturbulence said:
Yes God made Eve for Adam, but He only did it because Adam literally had no one around to help him. Adam was lucky, but then Eve caused them both to sin and be punished. So much for "having the perfect mate" theory.

I don't have any problem with the way Isaac found Rebecca. He left the choice of a wife up to God and simply asked for a sign so he will know who God wants him to marry. A godly man should leave every choice in life up to God. Note that this is not the same as saying that God made Rebecca specifically for Isaac, although in this particular case given the importance of their relationship in biblical history I wouldn't be surprised if God did in fact make her for him, but we can't really be sure of that. For the rest of us who aren't prophets, God probably wants us to pray for a sign like Isaac did, and then He will show us one who He has picked for us (not created for us) to marry. But then again who would be bold enough to act upon that sign when it comes. Lets not forget too that Isaac had to suffer for many years before he was allowed to marry Rebecca. He did not just say "oh well, this is just not going to work out at all."
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Excellent post. Additional point - Issac was 40 when he married. The original 40 year old virgin so to speak lol. I like to think he looked at the faith his parents had regarding his own birth and prophetic inheritance, and decided to also not worry about the issue of a wife til he was ready and God was ready to provide since he had evidence of God staying true to his promises.
 
V

violakat

Guest
#15
#15
violakat said:
Wait a minute, wait a minute, there are no Couples where God did that? Are you sure about that? hmmm

If that is true, then Lillith must have been real and Adam choose Eve instead.
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Just so everyone knows, I really was just teasing Zero here.
 
D

daughter_of_a_king_89

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#16
#16
Re: Should we be looking for the one, or one the few that God says is good match for

This is truly were we go wrong is we look for someone...we cannot do anything on our own...and if found all the time ive looked ive failed...why because i didnt give the matter to God and trust in him...the thing is that on our own alot of times we over look things and we base things on outward apperance...we dont get to know the person and we rush into things...all the happily married couples ive met at church have the same story...they were not looking is number 1...number 2 they didnt fall in love at first site...number 3 they didnt even have anything in common...number 4 very important over time they came to know each other and fall in love with the person that they each were on the inside...and to have a lasting relationship number 5 they base there whole relationship with putting God first and doing his will...and having him as the foundation that they built there relationship on...so I hope I could help ...and stop looking just love and get to know people for who they are ..and never let lust aka attraction fool you into a deadend relationship :)
 
G

GreenNnice

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#17
#17
When we are READY (sing the Boston song, if you want), but when we are ready, NOW will be a very interesting word in God's mind when it comes to marriage.

I believe in 'the one,' 43 years old and you believe in the one, green? Yep. 1000% !

God KNOWS who will BEST suit us, and, though we can more than just one 'the one,' IF you are still following me, and, not still singing a certain Boston song, well ,then, Amanda, and, Ralph, and, all the rest of ya, you understand that God KNOWS who we can mate with and best serve our life but to be too picky is not right, it is, in fact, SIN ! OK, no, it's not that, but it will delay your doing what God REALLY wants to do in your life.

NOw, how are you ready ? Having faith, understanding God's mercy (that we ALL have made mistakes in the past and are not perfect and God forgives us soon as we confess our wrongdoings ('wrongdoing' for one or two of ya, but MOST of us are wrongdoers of many things :D ) .

So, I have used absolutely no scripture but it is easy for me to answer this , another BRILLIUANTLY done thread by sir dothack0. VERY good question and, as can be seen, there are a lot of answers, almost as many as a leopard has spots :D
 
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