Single and happy?

[toinena]

I would like to know how you guys solve the issue of being happy and at peace with being single.

I myself can't say singlehood is something I desire. But even I have some tricks that makes being single easier.

Firstly I try to make a future for myself. That I want (but also would be a blessing for an eventual spouse if he miraculously appears)

Secondly I find comfort having two dogs. I love the way the two of them interacts.

Thirdly I try to keep myself busy with work.

Fourth I waste time online on CC and try to pretend to be social.

What about you?

 

[calibob]

What's a bassoon?

When I was divorced several decades ago, I went from bad relationship to bad relationship and when I complained to a counselor friend of mine she told me that I sounded like an old song, "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places" and I have to become comfortable with myself, by myself and find the within myself to love myself before I could move on and that any relationship that I could get into short of learning that secret first would most likely be co-dependent. Then she compared co-dependancy to drug dependancy. I got mad told her she didn't know what she was talking about and stormed away. But later I looked up and although I get lonely and depressed, I believe it's more of a chemical thing that love won't cure, besides why would I want to subject some I love to that? So I learned to tolerate myself.

I have a family that loves and tolerates me, I have my Bible, chickens and dog and now you friends to help me see it through.

 

[Stranger36147]

I don't know.


I was thinking one needs to keep himself/herself occupied so they won't dwell that much on the fact that they're single.

 

[toinena]

What's a bassoon?

When I was divorced several decades ago, I went from bad relationship to bad relationship and when I complained to a counselor friend of mine she told me that I sounded like an old song, "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places" and I have to become comfortable with myself, by myself and find the within myself to love myself before I could move on and that any relationship that I could get into short of learning that secret first would most likely be co-dependent. Then she compared co-dependancy to drug dependancy. I got mad told her she didn't know what she was talking about and stormed away. But later I looked up and although I get lonely and depressed, I believe it's more of a chemical thing that love won't cure, besides why would I want to subject some I love to that? So I learned to tolerate myself.

I have a family that loves and tolerates me, I have my Bible, chickens and dog and now you friends to help me see it through.

this is me playing the bassoon. It makes me happy, too.

 

[calibob]

this is me playing the bassoon. It makes me happy, too.
View attachment 184394

Does it have reeds?

 

[toinena]

Yes. It is a double reed instrument

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm always too busy to think about being single. Even when I'm supposed to be relaxing or having fun I keep thinking of other things I could be taking care of instead.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Truth be told though.... At night, when I'm ready to retire for the day and everything's quiet, I often feel those loneliness hunger pangs and wonder if I'll ever have someone to share my life with.

 

[Lynx]

I see being married as something that would be nice, but is not essential to my life.

If life were a turkey sandwich, being married would be the cheese. Cheese turns a turkey sandwich into a completely different (and much better) sandwich. But if I don't have cheese I will eat a turkey sandwich and enjoy it anyway.

I am single, but that doesn't mean my life is not complete. I still have a life to live, money to earn, lots of things to enjoy, bills to pay, music to play, people to help along the way... there is a lot of life to live whether I am single or married.

I may one day get the cheese for my turkey sandwich. Maybe not. But I'm not going to pass up a delicious turkey sandwich just because I don't have cheese for it. Being married does not make a life complete any more than being single makes a life incomplete.

Single and happy? Yes. Were I married, I would probably be more happy. But I'm not going to miss the happy I have now just because I don't have the happy I might have. I'm not going to waste my life looking for something I may never find, because I don't want to miss the life I am living now.

 

[LittleMermaid]

I feel like I have been single all my life. Sure, I've gone on a few dates...but I can count them on one hand.
I'm used to it. I want to get married and start a family...but sometimes I wonder if I would even be able to handle it.

So because I've been single all my life...I don't really feel like I need to do something to get my mind off of it.

 

[Mel85]

I would like to know how you guys solve the issue of being happy and at peace with being single.

I myself can't say singlehood is something I desire. But even I have some tricks that makes being single easier.

Firstly I try to make a future for myself. That I want (but also would be a blessing for an eventual spouse if he miraculously appears)

Secondly I find comfort having two dogs. I love the way the two of them interacts.

Thirdly I try to keep myself busy with work.

Fourth I waste time online on CC and try to pretend to be social.

What about you?

I think having dogs helps, I know it does with me and my boys. I get to cuddle them, kiss them, play with them, lay with them, talk to them - just how I would with a spouse. Oh the joys of having pets!

I guess the only difference is that they can’t talk back to me in human form and maybe other obvious differences but lets not go there.

I’m in the same boat as Lil Mermaid though, been single most of my life and don’t know any other difference. I enjoy being single but I do want to eventually have a hubby and start a family.

 

[toinena]

Life is like a turkey sandwich. Either you have cheese or not, it is still a turkey sandwich.

For me, the question is not only if the previously mentioned sandwich has cheese but which kind of cheese.

 

[calibob]

Life is like a turkey sandwich. Either you have cheese or not, it is still a turkey sandwich.

For me, the question is not only if the previously mentioned sandwich has cheese but which kind of cheese.

I'll have one with mozzerella, bacon and 1/2 an avocado, on rye plz.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I think having dogs helps, I know it does with me and my boys. I get to cuddle them, kiss them, play with them, lay with them, talk to them - just how I would with a spouse. Oh the joys of having pets!

I guess the only difference is that they can’t talk back to me in human form and maybe other obvious differences but lets not go there.

I’m in the same boat as Lil Mermaid though, been single most of my life and don’t know any other difference. I enjoy being single but I do want to eventually have a hubby and start a family.

Yes, pets do help. I used to take care of 2 dogs and a cat (not at the same time) and they were like family, but they always gave unconditional love.. That's something you usually never get from humans. I wish I had a pet now.

 

[toinena]

Yes, pets do help. I used to take care of 2 dogs and a cat (not at the same time) and they were like family, but they always gave unconditional love.. That's something you usually never get from humans. I wish I had a pet now.

You are hereby invited. Two dogs will great you upon arrival.

 

[DDDo]

I'm happy being single. I wish I had married my high school sweetheart, but I didn't because I enjoyed being free. And, still do. I worry about having kids given the direction this country is going. I also worry that most women these days are too much risk for marriage.