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haha, cute
But, yea i mean isn't that the same way with friends? granted, you don't live with them 24/7, but if you hang out with people enough( like I dunno stay around them in high school classes ALL day, sheesh) you have to eventually see some people faults and have to deal with them,. Eventually you learn to "live' with those things.
Now I know that friendship with most people isn't like an exclusive relationship in a marriage, but the basic principle is there. Lou, I have a female co-worker who dislikes it when I don't get enough food to eat in the day around lunchtime because i get all stressed and moody and I become a jerk, but she knows that's the reason I'm like that we're friends regardless and we even joke about it!
I personally talk WAY too much in conversations but I've been learning to be "quick to listen and slow to speak" over the last 2 years, so I'm workin on it. Loving people isn't just about loving them for their good points, but loving them for their good points and past that to putting up with their bad points and loving them all the same. Why? Cause the bible says to love others like God loves us, and belive me, God does not love us because we are " oh so lovable" but like a patient parent he loves us because it is in his nature to do so.
But, yea i mean isn't that the same way with friends? granted, you don't live with them 24/7, but if you hang out with people enough( like I dunno stay around them in high school classes ALL day, sheesh) you have to eventually see some people faults and have to deal with them,. Eventually you learn to "live' with those things.
Now I know that friendship with most people isn't like an exclusive relationship in a marriage, but the basic principle is there. Lou, I have a female co-worker who dislikes it when I don't get enough food to eat in the day around lunchtime because i get all stressed and moody and I become a jerk, but she knows that's the reason I'm like that we're friends regardless and we even joke about it!
I personally talk WAY too much in conversations but I've been learning to be "quick to listen and slow to speak" over the last 2 years, so I'm workin on it. Loving people isn't just about loving them for their good points, but loving them for their good points and past that to putting up with their bad points and loving them all the same. Why? Cause the bible says to love others like God loves us, and belive me, God does not love us because we are " oh so lovable" but like a patient parent he loves us because it is in his nature to do so.
"granted, you don't live with them 24/7, but if you hang out with people enough( like I dunno stay around them in high school classes ALL day, sheesh) you have to eventually see some people faults and have to deal with them,. Eventually you learn to "live' with those things.
Now I know that friendship with most people isn't like an exclusive relationship in a marriage, but the basic principle is there."
Copy/ paste. I know it's not the same, but the principle is kinda the same for puting up with people's faults.
Now I know that friendship with most people isn't like an exclusive relationship in a marriage, but the basic principle is there."
Copy/ paste. I know it's not the same, but the principle is kinda the same for puting up with people's faults.
Umm...gosh...I hate this topic....
coz....Well....I dunno!
I would dearly LOVE to be married!
Sometimes its difficult to understand what God is doing or not doing though...
As I see my friends get into relationships, get married, have their first...second..third child... I cant help but feel a bit forgotton. Am I on the shelf? If so, what is my expiry? Has it already passed? Have I been sprayed with some kind of 'guy repellent' which keeps em all away? I mean seriously, the amount of times I have been asked in the chatroom let alone real life why Im not married at this age is enough for any girl to want to bury her head in a paper bag....not to mention all the 'trite' condescending things people say regarding your solo state. Its like society views mid 20s - mid 30s singles as some sort of disease that needs to be fixed!
Is marriage the be all end all? NO, not to me, I am COMPLETE in Jesus, not in someone else...I know and believe this truth! Its not like I am looking for someone to give me a sense of security or self worth, I am ok just as I am! For me, its about companionship..encouragement...sharing...love...serving together.
I have been out on the missionfield and spent the best part of 7 years serving God on my own in many different towns and cultures and now Im kinda over doing this on my own. I know, God is with me, Im not really on my own...but.... it would be fantastic to have physically have someone to share it with!
So is it even in God's plan for me to get hitched? Or will I forever be the girl that people pity...'oh your such a lovely girl, it will happen when u stop looking'.....(excuse me if I spew)! I have taken this to God too many times to count. I do hope to get married, how do I know I will?.... well, I cant really answer that, except that would I not find a contentment in singleness if that was what God wanted for me? Also, what about the promise in the bible that says that God will not withhold good things from his children? Does this apply to the singleness/marriage issue? What about 'Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart?'
In essence, all I can do is seek after the Lord with all my heart and trust him and his plans...cos I dont have the answers! He has opened many doors in my lifetime and closed a myriad of others. I guess thats where I leave the marriage issue also. It is natural in my human-ness to look around at all my friends and think I have somehow missed out, but, I know that God knows the plans he has for me so I must continue to trust trust trust. I would love to have a family of my own and if he surprises me with someone to partner me in this life - bring it on! If not, I am trusting him to fulfill me and give me a peace in that.
coz....Well....I dunno!
I would dearly LOVE to be married!
Sometimes its difficult to understand what God is doing or not doing though...
As I see my friends get into relationships, get married, have their first...second..third child... I cant help but feel a bit forgotton. Am I on the shelf? If so, what is my expiry? Has it already passed? Have I been sprayed with some kind of 'guy repellent' which keeps em all away? I mean seriously, the amount of times I have been asked in the chatroom let alone real life why Im not married at this age is enough for any girl to want to bury her head in a paper bag....not to mention all the 'trite' condescending things people say regarding your solo state. Its like society views mid 20s - mid 30s singles as some sort of disease that needs to be fixed!
Is marriage the be all end all? NO, not to me, I am COMPLETE in Jesus, not in someone else...I know and believe this truth! Its not like I am looking for someone to give me a sense of security or self worth, I am ok just as I am! For me, its about companionship..encouragement...sharing...love...serving together.
I have been out on the missionfield and spent the best part of 7 years serving God on my own in many different towns and cultures and now Im kinda over doing this on my own. I know, God is with me, Im not really on my own...but.... it would be fantastic to have physically have someone to share it with!
So is it even in God's plan for me to get hitched? Or will I forever be the girl that people pity...'oh your such a lovely girl, it will happen when u stop looking'.....(excuse me if I spew)! I have taken this to God too many times to count. I do hope to get married, how do I know I will?.... well, I cant really answer that, except that would I not find a contentment in singleness if that was what God wanted for me? Also, what about the promise in the bible that says that God will not withhold good things from his children? Does this apply to the singleness/marriage issue? What about 'Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart?'
In essence, all I can do is seek after the Lord with all my heart and trust him and his plans...cos I dont have the answers! He has opened many doors in my lifetime and closed a myriad of others. I guess thats where I leave the marriage issue also. It is natural in my human-ness to look around at all my friends and think I have somehow missed out, but, I know that God knows the plans he has for me so I must continue to trust trust trust. I would love to have a family of my own and if he surprises me with someone to partner me in this life - bring it on! If not, I am trusting him to fulfill me and give me a peace in that.
B
I was married for 29 years before my divorce became final. I never even thought that I would be alone. We just seem to fit together and everyone always said so anyway. People were always telling me that we just suited each other and I believed that we did! Now I am wondering if we were trully meant for each other or not. I am wondering if we spent all those years with each other and raising our children and we really were not meant to be together. I always wanted us to be as close to God as we could and he didn't feel that way. And maybe I went overboard with serving God. Is that possible? I thought we should be as close to God as we could get. And as I look back I don't really know anymore. People change and we have different feelings, but when we make vows, we are NOT to throw them away. People today think that we can just forget those vows and do whatever makes us happy. But it doesn't work that way. As the story of Jethra's daughter in Judges 11. When we make a vow, we are to keep it. So now is the question I ask myself, do I start over with someone else or do I remain unmarried? My husband has already moved on because that is the reason we are divorced The divorce was my decision and I still don't know for sure if that was the right one. But in my mind and heart, I don't know wether I could ever trust him again. I do know that all things are possible thru God and God will have to help my husband (ex husband) to love serving God again before it would possibly work. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. We really need them. My whole family has been separated thru all of this. And pray that God will start with me. That I will have the same closeness to Him as I once did and even closer. Maybe it is me that can't let the past go and the hurt. Only God can help me with this. God bless each one.
well im only 19 and cant say i have an experience with relationships let alone marriage. my mother married and divorced twice with my father and he abused her for years. then she ended up having an affair with the pastor of the church and having my little sister with him and he is still married to his wife till this day legally. my older brother when younger fell inlove with this girl that ended up living with us and they were boyfriend and girlfriend then engaged for years and lived with us under the same roof, they never tried anything but eventually she grew tired of waiting for the real thing to happen and gave him up and very short after had her first child with this guy and my brother was completely heart broken and said he would be better off single and concentrating on God first and seeing what God wants in his life, then he got married to who became a close best friend of his here on cc and seem very happy and meant to be together, i still talk to his ex and she still has feelings for my brother and realized she made a mistake to leave him and he had still loved her but now he moved on and is enjoying the life God set for him while his ex is now planning to leave her current boyfriend (who ended up being a total jerk and not caring about God anyway) to start a new life with her daughter whom she loves. and as for my mother and her boyfriend(*boyfriend because they legally arent married even tho they have been together for about 9 years and had my 7 year old sister together he is still as i said married to his first wife) he ended up having colon cancer and is recovering now but she pretty much has to take care of the whole house hold and even tho when she ended up with him she was happy with him it was wrong and not only that he isnt a great guy and to be perfectly honest with you i hated him with such a passion considering the fact i never let anyone in my family know he had molested me before he cheated on his wife and got with my mother. now you must be asking what are you telling your whole life story for but look, i have seen many sides of "love" and have seen such pain and such happiness and when you see it you couldnt tell if being with someone causes to much pain that the happiness isnt worth it or being with someone causes so much happiness that enduring the pain is worth it. we all do things we regret and im pretty sure that when ppl end up in a painful relationship thats not why God made man and woman to be together. some ppl feel the desire to know that they can be alone, while other just cant endure not having someone even tho they have gone through the pain and continue to make mistakes like my mother who after leaving my father ended up in an even worse situation because she just cant be alone and because he im sure made her at the time feel wanted and beautiful and desired. which im sure can apply to men too, men want to feel needed and want to be able to hold and to be loved and show someone love also. the truth is even our hearts deceive us and it says so in the bible, a couple of years ago my mother came to me crying saying that sometimes she had the need to leave him and stuff but then even tho she didnt say it but i could read her like a book the reason she didnt leave him is one, she depended on him money wise and 2 because my mom isnt one of those ppl who can be alone. in the outside looking in to her world with all my heart i believe we all as one family would have been happier and much better off if she would have left him but that was her dissicion and now im getting to old to be living with her mistakes. i never even dated and one time maybe fell inlove but later realized that it wasnt real and me as a person would never let it get so far as he thought so i ended the friendship short also for his own good because he didnt know me that well and i knew in the end he would never love me. marriage and relationships period are complex and the reason i believe theres so many divorces and unhappy ppl is because we let our hearts deceive us way to much and we take things to lightly, while some jump into something because it feels good and ends up in a disaster or others who waits upon the lord and learns from their mistake and end up making a wise dissicion. wether you never been in a relationship before or have dealt with it and your living with regret or wondering what it is you have to do next or the dissicion you should make. the desire to want to be with someone or the desire to be alone thats us personally, but it is wither we have the passion, the heart, the desire and the right faith to trust and believe God will set it all right but to concentrate in Him first other then putting what we want first. or trustng and being in peace with ourselfs and waiting on God to surely know if we can go on alone in a physical sense without a partner. in the long run we should concentrate on how we will be glorifying and living are lifes to the fullest with being filled and satisfied with first our relationship with God then second try are best to wait and understand that big things like marriage or being single is something we wait patiently for because not only when we take things slowly and let God set things we trust Him to take care of shows our faith in Him, when you do things with care you do it also for yourself, because even tho with Christ we are new and die to ourselves daily it is our lifes and we still have to take care of ourselves and try with wisdom, love and patients to do things our heavenly father would find pleasing and would want us to do then hopefully we will live much more satisfying lifes then when we let others and our hearts deceive us. I wish ppl the best when they struggle with these situations but i think it will all be meaningful when we put God first then have great joy in what the Lord sets for us, even tho sometimes we dont end up with what we wanted. but then again this is just my point of view, God bless you ^_^
wow lol i talk to much sorry xD
wow lol i talk to much sorry xD
A
I know married people have their problems but being single has it's disadvantages too. At the end of the day there is no one at home to greet me. There is no one to take turns cooking. If I want to eat I have to cook every night. If you go out to eat, it's a table for one. Married friends are to busy to go out . While they are cuddling in front of television. I'm watching TV alone. I'm sitting by myself in the movie theatre. They have their couples only gatherings. Vacation packages are based on double occupancy. Imagine being told that you could never ever have or want any type of sexual relationship and if you do you're committing a sin and you're going to hell. " Just get married" is not as easy as it sounds. In the bible marriages were arranged, you knew that one day you would get married. Those days are long gone. People would rather have a career. People get married based on looks, money, career and what they own. There is a long dating process that could end at any moment. Some people will never measure up to these standards, so they will be forever single and will be expected to repel every sexual thought or feeling. Sounds like fun, doesn't it.
C
My story is...I find a man I can actually fall in love with, we are married 5 happy yrs (i thought) and he tells me 8 wks ago he wants a divorce. I couldn't figure it out. Then 3 wks later I find out there was someone else and it's been going on for a few months.
Why can't we find someone that will love us for who we are and stick with a marriage.
The one good thing that has come out of this, I have gotten so close with God that I know I wouldn't have been if we were still together. God has helped me so much, he is an awesome God and we don't have to worry about God ever leaving us because he will NEVER leave us.
Why can't we find someone that will love us for who we are and stick with a marriage.
The one good thing that has come out of this, I have gotten so close with God that I know I wouldn't have been if we were still together. God has helped me so much, he is an awesome God and we don't have to worry about God ever leaving us because he will NEVER leave us.
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J
Sam that was too funny!!! You actually sounds like a friend of mine. She would love that. Anyways, I've never been married but almost took the plunge. I want to get married if I find the right person but I'm also scared because people don't value marriage like they used too. It is no big deal to get a divorce anymore. People cheat all the time like it is no big deal. I mean why get married if you are going to do that? Or they just fall out of love or something along those lines. I mean there are things about my single life I like but there are things I don't like as well. It's just rough out there. anyway that's my 2 cents. 