Single women over 30

[coby]

My last serious girlfriend was 10 years younger than I am and the difference in maturity levels was staggering. Now of course that's not true in all cases but it definitely is an important factor one needs to take in to account. Playful and mature is an amazing combination, but playful and immature stinks.

Lol my ex was 12 years older. He wanted a good looking young woman hahahahaha but then complained that I was a kid. Lol yes why else would I look for a daddy figure? Now he has someone his own age. After him I wanted the total opposite so I had a guy who was a lot younger but then I had to be the mom and clean up after him. Oh my. If I ever date again it's someone my age and my maturity level. Guys my age are just so mature. They have it all together and the younger ones look for a mom.

 

[Txroads]

So as a woman in her 40's who looks no where near it. I am asked out often by twenty something and thirty something men. Last person I dated for many years ended up being a lot younger. By the time I saw the ID I was a year in the relationship. The point is I never really look at the numbers. As numbers mean nothing. Its the love of GOD, the passion for GOD and life. The experiences and what they bring into your life that matters. I need a crazy sense of humor like mine, an adventurous person, a loving, compassionate and kind person. Numbers and looks are not what I first notice about someone. In fact they are far from what I look for.

The only problem is jenibean you are one in a hundred million..... Girls like you don't exist.... Well, you do but I mean after that I don't know what planet you come from but let the others know earth is habitable... Lol...

 

[coby]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vJCZVcCQR3E

 

[PoetMary]

Isn't it a bit perverse though, to want to date someone who for all intents and purposes could be your daughter/son?Is this old fashioned or do people agree with me?What is the appropriate age gap to have in a relationship?

I don't necessarily think it's perverse. When C.S. Lewis married Joy Davidman he was 57 and she was 41--a 16 year difference. Even though there was a gap, they were EQUALS. (This is the important part).

Oona O'Neill married Charlie Chaplin when she was 18 and he was 54. Apparently, it was a happy marriage that produced eight children.

I don't think it's useful to imply a significant age gap in a marriage is immoral. There's no indication of this in scripture. What is moral or immoral is how we view and treat people.

So, if someone views another person as an object or project that they can mold to their specifications, then that is morally wrong. You're dehumanizing that person and treating them as a consumer product. If someone is dating/marrying someone simply because they are pretty or rich, that's objectifying the person (and setting oneself up for future misery). That is immoral. If someone is dating someone with the agenda of "what can I get," "how can I benefit," "what's in this for me," then that is immoral. However, none of these things have anything to do with age.

I've dated men who are ten years older and also men who are fifteen years younger. I think there is a point (based on the individuals) where there can be some generational disconnect. However, the reason I date anyone is because I think they are interesting and intelligent. None of the relationships I've had ended because of someone's age. They mainly ended because of a lack of ethics...and ethics are available at any age.

 

[LiJo]

I agree with Jeni 100%, age is just a number. I've dated men who are 10+ years older and 10 years younger. What is important to me is their love for God, their morals, values, then of course their personality, humor, compatibility, and attitude.

I'm involve with a singles ministry in my city and it's interesting to see men who are 50 and 51 acting as if they are 65+ and then there are men who are 60 and are very active as if they are in their late 40's. This holds true for women too!

 

[Pipp]

*is saddened to know my attractiveness has plummeted significantly in the past 3 years.*

Lol nah..don't care

 

[jeremyPJ]

Everything I've read seems to indicate that yes, a man's attraction to a woman in her 20s would not be impacted by his own aging process. What Thanatos says makes sense. Of course, the same could be true for woman who would find a man in his 20s attractive while she herself is in her 50s. But most women would accept that while he is nice to look at, he would still be unsuitable for marriage to her. Maybe that is the difference.

What I found alarming in that video was the comment about testosterone levels decreasing rather rapidly in the last several decades. I did some digging and saw that in the last 30 years or so, the general level of testosterone in men has declined by 17% altogether compared to a man in the 80s. (Or 1.2% lower per year.) That's a sizable chunk! WHAT is causing this and how might it impact relationships in the years to come?

Generational decline in testosterone levels observed | Endocrine Today

I believe I can answer this one for you Grace, from experience.

In my life observations, men's testosterone is higher when we spend more positive time around women. For example at a party where women are behaving decently as we used to observe years ago. The positive vibe we men get when we are around friendly women whom we are attracted to keeps our testosterone at a decent level.

But over the last two decades or so, life has changed among men and women, young now or older now. People are retaining weight more, I don't blame our diet so much as I blame the T levels in both sexes. The T levels are proportionate, in my opinion to how men and women interact. Or more specifically nowadays, don't interact. Women act more like men, and put us down (ever heard a woman use the phrase "man up"?). Men grow up confused these days, as many are children who are victims of divorced spouses, which usually takes away their time with their fathers. This is very obvious to me when I see the way young men act today.

I must say, for a bit I thought I was at my "guy wisdom" site, instead of here! Lol.

 

[jeremyPJ]

And while i'm at it, I will also explain something else talked about on men's forums.

Women nowadays have men convinced of exactly how they should act, what they should be like, etc. in order to "satisfy" them as a worthy mate. Basically this makes men into "Beta Men".

Trouble is, what women really want, sometimes, is an "Alpha Male". This is why they whine and make their man so uncomfortable, leading us to believe that no matter what we do as a man, our women are never satisfied.

So the woman goes and has an affair with an Alpha male, much to the delight of her close female friends. Then the trouble starts and ends in Divorce. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but I'd be willing to bet at least 80+ % anyway.

They need a beta male to boss around, makes it look good among her friends and makes her feel in charge. Then she gets bored and looks for a wild assertive one to play, and validate her natural femininity.
Pig in a poke.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

I have a friend of 50+ who clearly wanted to be more than a friend. After a hundred hints and five "The limit goes here or I punch you in the face" he has finally gotten the message. The worst part is, most of our friends in the UK thought we were married! (Eeeewww)

 

[sassylady]

I've noticed a big increase in the amount of older men gawking at younger women, even men in their 60's and 70's looking at teenagers. When I was in my teens and 20's I honestly do not recall men older than my dad checking me out. Our society seems to promote such a shallow view of what is desirable that I feel like I am invisible to any man, even close to my age. I've known a few couples where the man is at least 15 years older and they did not last. He's tired at the end of the day and she is still ready to go do something, he's already retired and she still has to work, his kids may be grown and she's still at an age where she may want to have a child. And they grew up in a different age and don't have as much in common.

 

[Utah]

I agree with Jeni 100%, age is just a number. I've dated men who are 10+ years older and 10 years younger. What is important to me is their love for God, their morals, values, then of course their personality, humor, compatibility, and attitude.

I'm involve with a singles ministry in my city and it's interesting to see men who are 50 and 51 acting as if they are 65+ and then there are men who are 60 and are very active as if they are in their late 40's. This holds true for women too!

You're single because we live 500 miles from each other, otherwise you'd be Mrs. Utah

 

[coby]

I have a friend of 50+ who clearly wanted to be more than a friend. After a hundred hints and five "The limit goes here or I punch you in the face" he has finally gotten the message. The worst part is, most of our friends in the UK thought we were married! (Eeeewww)

I had a 70 Year old neighbour hitting on me when I was 20 something. I thought: he's such a Nice old grandpa. I can just hang out with him. Nope not possible LOL. He even came with His trousers If I could sew them for him. His 12 Year old grandkid was also interested. Lol serious. He got jealous and angry when my ex came along. Sometimes age does matter.

 

[DCrawshawJr]

And while i'm at it, I will also explain something else talked about on men's forums.

Women nowadays have men convinced of exactly how they should act, what they should be like, etc. in order to "satisfy" them as a worthy mate. Basically this makes men into "Beta Men".

Trouble is, what women really want, sometimes, is an "Alpha Male". This is why they whine and make their man so uncomfortable, leading us to believe that no matter what we do as a man, our women are never satisfied.

So the woman goes and has an affair with an Alpha male, much to the delight of her close female friends. Then the trouble starts and ends in Divorce. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but I'd be willing to bet at least 80+ % anyway.

They need a beta male to boss around, makes it look good among her friends and makes her feel in charge. Then she gets bored and looks for a wild assertive one to play, and validate her natural femininity.
Pig in a poke.

This should be a wake up call to all men. Men, stop being a beta male to have your woman run you over you (I Tim 2:12). Take the lead!

Pray to Jesus, then get together with other men to strengthen each other so you can be the men you were created to be.

I talked to one lady about dating in general, and she said that lots of women prefer men who know what they want. Another lady on an online dating site, who rarely replies to anybody, replied to me and commented how my being "openly honest and forward" was refreshing. (We didn't work out, by the way).

 

[DCrawshawJr]

My apologies if my last post sounded like bragging. I was merely trying to share the results of certain actions.

 

[coby]

This should be a wake up call to all men. Men, stop being a beta male to have your woman run you over you (I Tim 2:12). Take the lead!

Pray to Jesus, then get together with other men to strengthen each n so you can be the men you were created to be.

I talked to one lady about dating in general, and she said that lots of women prefer men who know what they want. Another lady on an online dating site, who rarely replies to anybody, replied to me and commented how my being "openly honest and forward" was refreshing. (We didn't work out, by the way).

I think you can simply be yourself as a man. Beta males can lead too If their wife Will let them. Alpha males simply need to learn not to be controlling and bèta's not to be controlled. I don't think I could take it anymore the whole day doing as you're told.

 

[didymos]

Hi all,

I just watched a video clip about "neo-masculinity"...

The things men do just to get attention from girls, tut.

 

[PoetMary]

And while i'm at it, I will also explain something else talked about on men's forums.

Women nowadays have men convinced of exactly how they should act, what they should be like, etc. in order to "satisfy" them as a worthy mate. Basically this makes men into "Beta Men".

Trouble is, what women really want, sometimes, is an "Alpha Male". This is why they whine and make their man so uncomfortable, leading us to believe that no matter what we do as a man, our women are never satisfied.

So the woman goes and has an affair with an Alpha male, much to the delight of her close female friends. Then the trouble starts and ends in Divorce. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but I'd be willing to bet at least 80+ % anyway.

They need a beta male to boss around, makes it look good among her friends and makes her feel in charge. Then she gets bored and looks for a wild assertive one to play, and validate her natural femininity.
Pig in a poke.

It's interesting that you present this as a view of womankind--that women are never satisfied. From my perspective as a woman, I feel like men are never satisfied either. They claim that they want certain qualities in a woman (loving, loyal, honest, etc.), but then find these qualities boring and opt to chase after the more interesting "chaos girl." They appreciate a woman who is intelligent, unless she actually displays her intelligence and it's greater than his, then she's some kind of intellectual battleaxe. They like a woman who is feisty and has a mind of her own, until she exercises that mind to disagree with him, then he wants a woman who is soft, sweet, and submissive. They want a woman to be submissive, but if she's too submissive, she's boring and he can't respect her, etc. ad nauseum.

I think the constant striving for some fantasy partner is a HUMAN issue.

Also, I don't think it's an either/or issue. I want a man who is wants to know and understand me, so he'll LISTEN to me and value what I have so say. At the same time, I have no desire to be a man's boss or his mother. I don't necessarily want a person to look to me to tell them how to behave or think. Part of the problem with the whole alpha/beta thing is that it implies that men are either WEAK and subject to women or they are STRONG and dominate women. There doesn't seem to be an in-between offered.

(And as an aside, I've known very, very few men who actually know how to listen to a woman. Most men filter out everything except "mom noise." So, their partner may say something to them regarding their feelings and a man pays zero attention. Eventually, she begins to nag or address him with a "mom voice," and suddenly he pays attention. I don't know that women really want to a man to boss around to impress their friends--I've not known such women. I think that women want to be heard, but that men often don't listen when women speak in their normal way because they aren't particularly attuned to listening to women).

I would never characterize Jesus as a WEAK man; however, he also listened to women and valued them. I think it's completely possible for a man to maintain his manhood and still listen to, value, and sometimes incorporate the wisdom of women in his life.

 

[PoetMary]

I think you can simply be yourself as a man. Beta males can lead too If their wife Will let them. Alpha males simply need to learn not to be controlling and bèta's not to be controlled. I don't think I could take it anymore the whole day doing as you're told.

The whole alpha/beta model for manhood is based on treating humans like animals. I'm not sure it's a philosophical model that meshes well with Christianity. After all, one of the major tenets of Christianity involves the constant *humanizing* of people over sin's and society's attempts to dehumanize.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

And while i'm at it, I will also explain something else talked about on men's forums.

Women nowadays have men convinced of exactly how they should act, what they should be like, etc. in order to "satisfy" them as a worthy mate. Basically this makes men into "Beta Men".

Trouble is, what women really want, sometimes, is an "Alpha Male". This is why they whine and make their man so uncomfortable, leading us to believe that no matter what we do as a man, our women are never satisfied.

So the woman goes and has an affair with an Alpha male, much to the delight of her close female friends. Then the trouble starts and ends in Divorce. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but I'd be willing to bet at least 80+ % anyway.

They need a beta male to boss around, makes it look good among her friends and makes her feel in charge. Then she gets bored and looks for a wild assertive one to play, and validate her natural femininity.
Pig in a poke.

I understand what you're saying and can feel your frustration with this situation, though I admit that your wording got me feeling defensive despite myself. I stumbled a bit there, brother, but I am back on my feet again.

What you say about testosterone and spending positive time around women may have something to it. I'll have to check into that. No medical research seems to come to any conclusion as far as diet, activities or any other physical changes, so maybe this is the key.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

Men are by nature are attracted to feminine energy and women are attracted to masculine energy. When women are in control and successful and act bossy, their feminine energy seems to diminish and they repell men or attract men who are weak and have more feminine energy. And masculine energy attracts a lot of feminine energy so they become polygamous and that is how they justify cheating. But cheating is a choice and the one who cheated should take all the blame.