Okay, i've calmed down from my laughing fit from a thread i was watching vids from XD
You should try to do the same, brother. Calm down.
Right now, you're still overwhelmed by your feelings for this girl. When we're so caught up with our feelings, we tend to let it rule and control our decision making so much. And oftentimes, it gets us hurt, distressed, troubled, frustrated, depressed, longing...the list goes on and on.
I was an extreme idealist in the past. I wanted my first boyfriend to be my last, and i was very much in love with him. We lasted almost 6 years (broke up with him 3 days before our anniversary. I thought about my decision for 3 months before breaking it off). You know the reason why? Because i realized he really wasn't the one for me, even though he seemed so perfect: handsome, smart, kind, a gentleman, a pastor's son. I became perfectly honest with myself. Truthfully, even though he seemed perfect, i wasn't 100% happy with him. He bores me XD he doesn't inspire nor challenge me, nor bring out the best in me. And he doesn't share my vision for the kind of married life/family life i wanted to have someday.
You have a lot of things to consider, before you can positively say "She's the one i want to spend the rest of my life with." It's not always about feeling happy or in-love. Relationships have so many challenges up ahead, more so the real thing, which is marriage. It's not always wine and roses. There are so many storms to weather, so you will need the right partner to face it all.
Does she love GOD above all, and abides in HIM? Have you ascertained that she is the one who loves you just as GOD loves you? Who shares your ideals in life, how to manage your household and your kids in the future, and how to continue to inspire each other to be deeper in love with GOD? These are things to consider, dear brother.
My solid advice to you: seek GOD and set your eyes upon HIM. Let HIM calm your spirit. Let HIM teach you and show the way to true love. Let HIM satisfy you, making you want for nothing, and for nobody. HE should be your 1st and only ultimate true love, no one else. Don't just come to HIM, asking for answers. Let HIM fill up everything that is lacking in your life. I am certain that you are not ready for marriage with anyone right now, since you are still struggling with your feelings. Let HIM prepare you, by surrendering to HIS way. Trust HIM. Don't be the one to find the way, or the solution. GOD wants us to rely on HIM completely for all the concerns of our lives. And HE is very much interested in who we are to be paired with. Marriage is more than a just a union of two people who love each other, after all. It's a ministry, and GOD will bring you with someone that HE knows will bring out the very best in you both, for HIS honor and glory
[h=3]1 John 4:18[/h]King James Version (KJV)
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Let this be a good measure of whether you have the right kind of love, dear brother. Before, i didn't truly understand this. But now i do. It makes perfect sense. When you've found the right kind of love, and the right person to love and love you back, you're not afraid of anything, like losing her, or missing out, or having any regret in your life. It's because you know that you have been led to the VERY BEST CHOICE by GOD HIMSELF everything will just flow with ease, because GOD has blessed it so. It's not forced in any way. And it blooms or awakens when it's ready, and not before. When you are both ready. So just relax. Don't be afraid to miss out on her. Trust GOD. HE will lead you to your future wife, when HE sees you are ready. Take HIS hand, and walk with HIM daily. Let HIM open your eyes to the endless possibilities, all spelling the awesome wonders and greatness of HIS love for us all!!!
I don't know who is meant for you, dear brother. But be very honest with yourself. If your tormented right now, and afraid for whatsoever reason, i believe that that love isn't right. GOD doesn't want us to suffer emotional torment. HE wants us to be joyful, at peace, and praising HIS name in the process of finding that love HE wants to grant us the desire of our hearts. But before that, HE wants us to fall in love with HIM first, and make HIM our desire and our delight!
[h=3]Psalm 37:4[/h]King James Version (KJV)
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
I'll be praying for you, dear brother. Feel free to approach me here at CC if you need any more help, okay?
GOD bless you, and fill you with HIS unspeakable peace and potent wisdom, HIS freeing discernment, and HIS awesome light and love!!!
