so, whats wong with me...

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7sparr7ow7

7sparr7ow7

Banned
#1
Mar 16, 2012
21
0
0
#1
someone told me once if i was spirtually in balance, i would have a had a husband by now. maybe im not meant to have one. this depresses the heck out of me. i don't want that at all. A couple of days ago, i had temptation of hurting myself because of what that person said to me. i dont want to feel that way. i dont want to be depressed anymore. I dont want to feel like i have those...ahem needs anymore. i keep on hearing people say 'pray', 'pray' but it seems like it's going in deaf ears. i've been praying about a husband ever since i was a child. maybe it's for the best i don't have a husband. my feeling is that if I had a huband, i would focus only on him and not on God. Please tell me this isnt so. please pray for me
 
J

Jason83

Guest
#2
#2
God sends a husband/wife when the time is right, in my opinion. There may be situations or reasons why God is waiting to send a mate to you; however, I am not aware of anywhere in the bible that states God will only send your mate to you if you’re spiritually balanced. In fact, being married could actually help someone become more spiritually balanced because they have someone to help keep them inline.

These words from that person are definitely not worth hurting yourself over. If you feel depressed, then maybe you should talk it over with family, friends, or some else. Sometimes it helps to get things off our chests.

The Bible states: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” My suggestion would be to spend time reading the bible, focusing on God, and just enjoy being single—there are a lot of benefits to being single, you know. I believe once you put God first, then he will give you the desires of your heart— such as in your case—a husband.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Well, why not be fair an assess yourself? Lets review the ideal mentality of a person ready for marriage.

Marriage is not there to fulfill you, give you self esteem, give your life meaning. You should be happy and content in yourself and content in being single. Not to say you can't desire to be married, but if you're sitting around waiting to get married so you can be happy, you're not ready.

Marriage is about selflessness. You can't approach marriage with an attitude of 'what am i getting out of this?'. You have to be thinking 'what can i put into this?'. Marriage is all about putting yourself aside and working at making the other person happy.

Obviously if you are going to be operating selflessly, you need to make sure you have the right person who will function the same way to you, so you don't end up in a marriage where you're a servant to someone who doesn't serve you back. In order to do that you need to be able to spot problem people, recognize red flags. This, of course, coupled with hearing the Holy Spirit.

If you're depressed and wanting to hurt yourself how can you live a life of selflessness and being a support to another? How can you (if you desire to have kids) be rightly focused on raising and training your kids correctly? I've gone through similar problems that you're feeling, and as bad as i wanted to be married, in retrospect i'm glad i didn't get married then. I was not ready.

Of course we want to be right spiritually as well. Not that we have to be spiritual giants, but to know what we believe, why we believe it and to be actively trying to live out our faith.

So these are some good basic starting points. And even if you're living up to these that doesn't mean God's going to magically hand over a spouse to you.
You and i have had a little interaction in chats. You seem to be struggling in having even basic interactions with people. If you have that trouble with basic interaction, then can you be ready in marriage? I know you said you do have some social problems. These things can be worked out, i sometimes struggle with social problems as well, but a lot of it is putting your pride and ego down and hearing what people have to say about you. What you're doing right, and wrong. Also, it can help to learn about body language, learning to read peoples facial and body cues. Doesn't have to be a deep study, just get some basics down, that will help you in your interactions with people. You can grow and change. It takes willingness to work hard, be patient and finding people you can trust to help and be open to hearing the right advice.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#4
#4
I understand you, i went through a time when it was very hard to be single, everybody ask you, judge and push you to marry. But then suddenly i realized that to be single is a blessing from God (like marriage) and that we need to take advantage while we are in this moment of our lifes.

I dont know if this help you, but i started to accept my singleness when one day a married ppl told that she needed some vacations of her marriage, of her children and of her husband, and those "vacations" meaned to be "single" haha. It sounded so weird to me because i wanted so much to be married and that woman only wanted some "vacations" that i started to analyze this and i realized that im on vacations.

I dont say that marriage is bad, i think marriage is a blessing from God and it will be great if i marry, but we can enjoy many things in life during singleness. There are many ppl that say that the "train passed without me", that im too old and those kind of things but i think its important that we focus on what God wants that we do, what things we can give to others when we are not focused in a husband and glorify God with our acts.

And besides that, not in all marriages are happiness, if you think that you will feel filled all the time, happy, protected, accompanied, or that you will have sex all the time, then you may be wrong, sometimes some married ppl feel more lonely than if they were single or you maybe would like to visit the family forum here to see that or ask anybody of your friends.

Hope this helps and i will be praying for you :)
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#5
#5
Liz01 said:
I understand you, i went through a time when it was very hard to be single, everybody ask you, judge and push you to marry. But then suddenly i realized that to be single is a blessing from God (like marriage) and that we need to take advantage while we are in this moment of our lifes.

I dont know if this help you, but i started to accept my singleness when one day a married ppl told that she needed some vacations of her marriage, of her children and of her husband, and those "vacations" meaned to be "single" haha. It sounded so weird to me because i wanted so much to be married and that woman only wanted some "vacations" that i started to analyze this and i realized that im on vacations.:D

I dont say that marriage is bad, i think marriage is a blessing from God and it will be great if i marry, but we can enjoy many things in life during singleness. There are many ppl that say that the "train passed without me", that im too old and those kind of things but i think its important that we focus on what God wants that we do, what things we can give to others when we are not focused in a husband and glorify God with our acts.

And besides that, not in all marriages are happiness, if you think that you will feel filled all the time, happy, protected, accompanied, or that you will have sex all the time, then you may be wrong, sometimes some married ppl feel more lonely than if they were single or you maybe would like to visit the family forum here to see that or ask anybody of your friends.

Hope this helps and i will be praying for you :)
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Lizzytheone, I hope you don't mind, but I needed to put the green, smilin', sheepshorn grinning greendude after the bolded part. Funny, funny, vacations , LOL :D just how you said it, I know that its true too, even marrieds need a holiday, la-la-la, time away from each other, then time back together will only be much better , so , they can get to saying, afterall that we've been through, our extended vacatiin, la-la, i will make it up ti you , I promise you and God I will ...., oh, sorry I was being Chicago on you, milady. Will you still LIKE me after all that said, or, will you say, I can't go on communicating with you , green, now, but it's ok, we will talk again, I just need a

Vacation :D
 
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Sunflower90

Guest
#6
#6
There is nothing wrong with you. Don't let being single make you feel that you are not worthy of happiness. The best thing is to trust in God, and take this time of your life to "date" Him. Get to know him better, and you will find your heart being fullfilled, and hopefully those "needs" will be calmed. Marriage is not the answer, and it's not always a blessing. I knew a woman who was so miserable during her marriage that she told me when her husband died of a heart attack she felt so free she wanted to do cartwheels down the hospital hallway. Of course, she felt guilty that she was so happy...but imagine how unhappy you have to be to react that way. God loves you, and he knows what is best for you. When the time is right, yours will come to you. I will pray that you have peace about your situation, because I agree it is very hard. Ask God for strength and joy!!! I hope things get better soon, one way or the other :)
 
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