Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[homwardbound]

So...I don't know, I'm debating even putting this on here, but then again there's so many fake christians out there that prefer false joy and optimism to reality that I guess maybe it will do someone some good to know they're not alone...Anyway, here it goes I guess.

Last night was one of the best nights I've had in quite some time. Earlier in the week I was contacted by an acquaintance of mine that I've known for as long as I can remember. He is a worship leader and asked if I'd be interested in playing bass for his worship band at a prayer walk rally. Of course I agreed, and the rally was last night. It was probably the best worship experience I've had in a long time. Along with the worship, the church we were playing at was one in where I personally knew the pastor as well as a couple other leader there, and had some pretty harsh words for them in the past. However last night that was all gone. We set the differences aside and we all just loved on each other. And that's what really struck me last night, love.

After I played with the worship band a young hispanic lady came up and sang a couple worship songs that just overwhelmed me with Gods love. It was wonderful and I can't wait to experience again. In the meantime. Life sucks. I see this worship leader who invited me with his wife and kids and watch them interacting expecting to see those same looks of irritation I would always get when I was married, and they just weren't there. He was happy. His wife was happy. After nearly a year and a half of separation and over 7 months of being officially divorced, I'm still broken hearted. I wanted a wife to share my life with, and instead dealt with 5 years of being unhappily married, and another year of hearing her say "I love you" to other guys over the phone and never hearing it for myself.

I don't know what the future holds for me. I would like to find a wife. I know the wife I'm looking for and yet she seems so far out of reach. I could sit and be content waiting for her if it wasn't for certain people I know (non-christians obviously) constantly pressuring me to have one night stands and hooking up with women just to have a girl, or friend with benefits. I can tell them till I'm blue in the face that I'm not into that, but it gets harder and harder take the more I hear it.

I love this quote from our very own miss Arwen, "One thing that gives me comfort is knowing that all this is temporary. I will truly find rest and safety in Heaven." Some people may find it sad, or depressing, even defeatist. I don't. I see hope. I know my future. I know how this story will end. I know one day I'll be at peace with Jesus and this will all be meaningless.

It is possible here and now today, to live above one's circumstances, as we all have them in our lives that do their best to keep us from the Joy, peace and righteousness only found through Christ Jesus being delivered through him to Father as, and by his death
[h=3]Colossians 1:22[/h]King James Version (KJV)


[SUP]22 [/SUP]In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

You see that by Christ's death, regardless of what happens here on earth, we are
Romans 15:16
That I should be the minister of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, ministering the gospel of God, that the offering up of the Gentiles might be acceptable, being sanctified by the Holy Ghost.

1 Corinthians 6:11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

What works did any of us do to get this from God? None right it is a gift that you can count on.
If only we would just trust and count on this gift alone, then we might not be so stressed out as we all get.
Just food for thought and am glad your focus is becoming to see the love of God and today you are responding to that, holding no grudges as you did in the past.
For the love of God is 1Cor.13:4-13,. where it is love, charity, goes on forever, all else passes away, Ask God for this as God is showing you this in truth, that is setting you free as long as you do not get carried away in flesh worshipping as many are and do not even know it.
All in God's type of love to you

 

[shawntc]

Today in church I will be going up to the front to make an affirmation of faith.

Keep in mind that this will be done in front of 120+ people, not to mention those who are going to be listening via radio.

 

[Markum1972]

God increased my understanding this past month and I wanted to share it with you. Actually I am encouraged by God to share this with you. So I don't know the significance of it, but I know that God knows... and maybe you do as well.

Lately God has been tugging at me to get more involved with other believers; to just be around them and surround myself with them and see where He leads me. As I was doing this, I suddenly realized that my depression was lifting and being replaced by joy. Little by little on a daily basis. It was happening so subtly that I was not even aware of it. That emptiness inside was being filled. I wondered at this. Why? I sought the Lord on it and this is what He showed me...

He said, "Have I not told you to seek the kingdom of God and my righteousness and all of these things shall be added to you?"

"Huh?" I thought. "Exactly what does that mean? What exactly IS the kingdom of God?"

He showed me a kingdom... I saw a great palace with a ruler standing within it. There were other rulers that were given authority beneath that one ruler. There were servants in the palace and many citizens within and without the palace.

God likened His kingdom to a kingdom on the earth showing me that His kingdom here on earth... the kingdom of God on earth... is the body of Christ... us...those that believe and have received... with Jesus as Lord and authority over all things upon the earth.

So... I asked the Lord, "So you mean to tell me that by seeking to find others that believe in you, I am seeking the kingdom of God?"

The answer was a clear "Yes".

 

[lil_christian]

Today in church I will be going up to the front to make an affirmation of faith.

Keep in mind that this will be done in front of 120+ people, not to mention those who are going to be listening via radio.

Well, if I'd known that I would have asked for the radio station. lol jk

Hope it went well!!

 

[PrettyBelle]

God increased my understanding this past month and I wanted to share it with you. Actually I am encouraged by God to share this with you. So I don't know the significance of it, but I know that God knows... and maybe you do as well.

Lately God has been tugging at me to get more involved with other believers; to just be around them and surround myself with them and see where He leads me. As I was doing this, I suddenly realized that my depression was lifting and being replaced by joy. Little by little on a daily basis. It was happening so subtly that I was not even aware of it. That emptiness inside was being filled. I wondered at this. Why? I sought the Lord on it and this is what He showed me...

He said, "Have I not told you to seek the kingdom of God and my righteousness and all of these things shall be added to you?"

"Huh?" I thought. "Exactly what does that mean? What exactly IS the kingdom of God?"

He showed me a kingdom... I saw a great palace with a ruler standing within it. There were other rulers that were given authority beneath that one ruler. There were servants in the palace and many citizens within and without the palace.

God likened His kingdom to a kingdom on the earth showing me that His kingdom here on earth... the kingdom of God on earth... is the body of Christ... us...those that believe and have received... with Jesus as Lord and authority over all things upon the earth.

So... I asked the Lord, "So you mean to tell me that by seeking to find others that believe in you, I am seeking the kingdom of God?"

The answer was a clear "Yes".

I also suffer from depression and tend to withdrawal from everyone when I do have low periods. But the moment I start opening up, the Lord places these amazing opportunities to encourage others. When I am obedient and give them prayer or minister to them with what God has done for me, I become joyful and at peace. God has called me to be an intercessor and I used to spend a lot of time praying here in the prayer chat room. Those times were filled with so much joy that my heart couldn't hold it all.
Then the Lord showed me in the word why. When the Lord had just spoken to the woman at the well, the disciples gave Jesus food and he refused, saying "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God".
Another scripture in Isaiah talks about helping others and receiving healing. I can't find that verse off hand, but it was like the Lord was telling me that If I gave of myself and used the gifts He has given me, then I would find the peace and joy I so desperately want. When we do what the Lord has commanded us to do ( love one another) then we truly find Him and are abiding in Him.
One of my favorite songs that I love to sing to the Lord is I Give Myself Away from William Mcdowell.
I give myself away, I give myself away so you can use me.
One night I was singing that and I felt the Lord's presence so strongly that I bowed down on the floor and sobbed, still singing. It was such a beautiful moment. I sing that song often as a reminder that if I give myself to others that I will be doing the will of the Father who loves me and longs for my happiness. Happiness is found in Him alone.

 

[PrettyBelle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9iyL0MXquY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Here's the song.

 

[Markum1972]

I also suffer from depression and tend to withdrawal from everyone when I do have low periods. But the moment I start opening up, the Lord places these amazing opportunities to encourage others. When I am obedient and give them prayer or minister to them with what God has done for me, I become joyful and at peace. God has called me to be an intercessor and I used to spend a lot of time praying here in the prayer chat room. Those times were filled with so much joy that my heart couldn't hold it all.
Then the Lord showed me in the word why. When the Lord had just spoken to the woman at the well, the disciples gave Jesus food and he refused, saying "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God".
Another scripture in Isaiah talks about helping others and receiving healing. I can't find that verse off hand, but it was like the Lord was telling me that If I gave of myself and used the gifts He has given me, then I would find the peace and joy I so desperately want. When we do what the Lord has commanded us to do ( love one another) then we truly find Him and are abiding in Him.
One of my favorite songs that I love to sing to the Lord is I Give Myself Away from William Mcdowell.
I give myself away, I give myself away so you can use me.
One night I was singing that and I felt the Lord's presence so strongly that I bowed down on the floor and sobbed, still singing. It was such a beautiful moment. I sing that song often as a reminder that if I give myself to others that I will be doing the will of the Father who loves me and longs for my happiness. Happiness is found in Him alone.

Yes. The Lord has been working with me to understand the wiles of the devil in order to resist him and his subtle deceptive ways.
The devil is like a wolf seeking to prey upon the sheep. A wolf will seek out to devour any sheep that have wandered away from the flock. This is why he tries to get us to isolate ourselves. He lies to us and tells us that no one else understands what we are feeling or going through. Yet this opposes what is written in the scriptures when it tells us to rejoice knowing that we all suffer the same trials and tribulations.

The Lord wants us to rejoice in this knowing that we are not separate from the rest of the body. Rejoice knowing that others share in the same struggles so that we would not abandon assembling together in our Lord Jesus Christ. As ambassadors of Christ, we are able to come to one another when we are weary and heavily burdened and find rest. By resisting the temptation to isolate ourselves, we resist the devil and he flees from us instead of making ourselves easy prey.

Likewise, the enemy is likened to a roaring lion roaming about seeking whom he may devour. Lions prefer to prey upon the wounded and weak within a herd because those get separated from the rest of the herd. In our case, we have all been wounded and it is through our weakness that God's strength is able to shine. So as a wounded and weak herd we all stay together not wandering away nor leaving any behind. Then God's strength is able to keep the entire herd safe.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[shawntc]

Well, the affirmation of faith was relatively simple. Just said a few words and went back to my seat. I made it a point to get out of the church quickly, as I usually do, or else 100 people would have tried to become my friend.

Also, finally found a chance to volunteer for the church in some fashion. Happy about that.

Gonna be working the next six days. It's part-time, yes, but also tiring. Nonetheless, I do need all the money I can get to pay for college. I suppose this is just God's way of providing it for me.

 

[ptlman]

April 7th was the first day that i went to the Church that I am now a member of. It was the 6th day that I was out of prison. I had a list of churches to attend for the first month or so to find the right church. I was received with so much love and care that the list got thrown out. The next day God gave me a poem about the experience and the Church. I was able to share it today and it was pretty awesome. My experiences have blessed this church and they have blessed me with their love and acceptance. WOW!!!!!

Arwen, on a another note; how did the Date go. Did the guy look past your two qualms? I hope you find that Christian man who is going to be everything you desire and will accept you for you.

 

[ptlman]

It hurts while cutting the onion, yet when one gets to the center it is as sweet as can be. We will go through trials and tribulations, and cry a lot or even get angry, yet if we seek to learn from God through Christ, we shall learn truth and be set free to be as your saying says "Your closet will be a place of prayer and intimacy with God or it will be a place of sin"
Love it and is so true, may I use your saying?

I got it from a book, so go ahead. It is a very powerful statement. I have it written in my Bible too.

 

[ptlman]

Forgive my stupid annoying depressing posts. Need to vent. I think I'm having a down day- or past few days. My new med can exuberate feelings of anxiety and depression before it plateaux. Been feeling well overall past two weeks, and I dunno past few days, kind of went back a bit. I hope this stuff will actually work, I'd hate to come off it, just to go through this all again with another medication. A lot anxiety is about the car getting fixed; waiting for money. Hoping it won't break down on me. So forgive me and my stupid annoying depressing posts. I hope it will pass again, and be back to my cheery self. Its been a very long time since I haven't been so analytical, consumed with wanting control, and scared of the dangers that lie out in the world. I am wondering what it would be like not to be so concerned. If that is even possible in this life. Life was great as a child- the innocence and joy. One thing that gives me comfort is knowing that all this is temporary. I will truly find rest and safety in Heaven.

You are just being real. You are letting us know what you are going through, so we know how to pray for you. Being a child is wonderful, that is why Jesus told us that we need to come to Him as a child. Their faith is so pure. They don't doubt or worry, they just have unconditional trust. I have found out that EPH 3:20 is so very true. I have had thougths about my first months out of prison and God has done so much more. I have been blessed with money, clothes, and dental work in this time. Some has come from unlikeley sources. God will meet your needs. He will allow this medicine to work and allow you to experience that peace and joy again. That joy is so wonderful.

The people of the world want to be happy, but it is all dependent on ones circumstances. Now joy is internal and is onlly based on JESUS. My joy flows no matter what I am going through or where I am at. Allow that joy to flow in your life too. Your experiences are preparing you for the ability to share your testimony with others with similar health problems. Your hope and faith is what they need to hear to make it through. Be an encouragement and example.

 

[shawntc]

Having yet another financial woe. Hoping and praying that I'll somehow have my financial aid needs resolved for this semester of college.

Sigh... this is plain ridiculous. Higher education shouldn't be such a challenge when it comes to money. I think eventually people are going to start realizing that paying inordinate amounts of money for college doesn't make sense.

Also, my mouse wheel is derped up. Doesn't scroll anymore.

 

[Catlynn]

Today the Holy Spirit convicted me pretty heavily about some things that I've sort of ignored and chosen not to obey. They're things that I wrote off as unimportant and not a big deal, so I thought nothing of it really. Wrong. It seems to have led me, like a car out of alignment, a bit off course. Amazingly though, as I've been truly and sincerely seeking Him about it for the last couple of days, He laid out everything for me today. He showed me what was wrong, how it came about that I feel the way that I've been feeling, where I've been disobedient, where my heart has been, and then also, how to make it right. What I need to do in order to get back into alignment with Him and His will. It was pretty awesome. I was on the floor in tears of joy and awe that my Father loves me so much and is always so willing to show me the way again if I get off course.
I feel like things are forever changing. As soon as I start to feel comfortable with where I'm at and what the Lord has taught me, He throws something else in the mix so that I'm never comfortable but always growing and learning.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Why is controlling 8 cities count as an objective? Jeez... Next time, Yamz. Next time...

 

[arwen83]

I love lavender oil

 

[rachelsedge]

It's 12:05 AM, I don't work tomorrow morning so I can stay up late.

I think I'm going to tackle the mound of dishes in the kitchen soon. I hate doing dishes. My mom usually does the dishes, but I love her, so I want to do the dishes for her.

Love makes you do willingly do things you normally don't like doing... Like dying on a cross for a wretched sinner (now saint) like me.

 

[MissCris]

Quitting smoking...is more difficult, and also easier, than I had thought before I really started trying this time around. My husband seems to be doing great- we spent the whole weekend around each other and everyone's still alive. He's back at work this morning, and I think that makes it a little easier for him, since his co-workers are all non-smokers, and he can't smoke on the property at all anyway.

For myself, having him back at work makes it a little more difficult. It's weird to realize how big a part of my life cigarettes were. I'll be in the middle of washing dishes, or vacuuming, or whatever and suddenly think, "And when I'm done with this, I'll just step outside...." But then I also have to check my thoughts. "No, NOT going to smoke, Cristen...YOU DON'T SMOKE!" So it's a strange mental battle going on.

I think the hardest part is that going out to smoke was how I took a short break from everything. Make sure both kiddos are settled in, playing or sleeping, then sneak away and watch them through the door or window while not having to DO stuff.

Anyway, I've also not had any coffee since Thursday morning, but that's not because I'm quitting coffee, we've just failed to remember to purchase any since we ran out.

My eye is twitching.

 

[shawntc]

I hope my parents know how to take care of a puppy, because I sure don't. I've never had to raise one before.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

^
Not that I have any experience, but I would assume the ground rules are:

- Love it
- Be concise (If something is no the first time it tries something, it is always no, no matter how cute the puppy is )
- Take it to "puppy class" if you can. Both you and the dog get training, and it learns how to interact with other dogs

 

[lil_christian]

I hope my parents know how to take care of a puppy, because I sure don't. I've never had to raise one before.

1. Take time to potty train it. Take it out on walks every few hours in your backyard in the grass.

2. If it's doing something bad, catch him in the act, tap him on the nose and firmly tell him, "No." Or else he won't make the mental connection what he's doing is bad and he'll think you're punishing him for no reason.

3. Take time to just straight up train him. Speak, sit, lay down, come here...stuff like that. I forget how we got our dog to do those. Look it up online, maybe.

4. Take the time to play with him. Puppies may be hard work, but they're also tons of fun to play with. Puppies are such a joy to have around. <3

Oh and...put a potty training liner type thing in its crate. It'll save you later on when the puppy makes an accident in its cage/crate/whatever you put the puppy in.