“The Lanolin propaganda machine says we won the banned game, Mylady”, the SOS informed Ms Jenny. She pondered about this surprising information for a few seconds and flipped through the memo. All the other countries apart from Jennymaesia and Lanolinland had been overrun by gigantic rabbits. “All those countries?” she asked the SOS. “Yes, Mylady”, he answered in his ever so formal manner. “Those countries, are they all on Australian soil? That rabbit thing could only happen there?” she wondered. “We have reason to believe that the entire banned game is rigged and has been taking place in the Australian Outback”, the SOS went on, “Lanolinland, Shittimistan and Jennymaesia, however, has been functioning as Guinea pigs for the experiment hence their location outside of Australia”. The SOS had a really strict look on his face. “Justice has been served, still, thanks to the Rabbit Master”.
Ms Jenny was thinking long and hard about this. “What about the Antarctica fuzz? Was that ever real?” The SOS had a big, fat “No!” written all over his face. “No, Mylady, it was staged in a freezer in Melbourne”. Ms Jenny could hardly believe this. “Ms Ruby and the Chieftain?” The SOS cleared his throat. “We don’t know, but rumor has it that they are Australian politicians with an “Australia First” agenda. Some people even say they are members of the cabinet”.
“Where does this leave us?” Ms Jenny said tentatively. “Well, not in the geopolitical elite league, for sure”, the SOS shrugged, “but we’ve got a great shot at being admitted into the third tier of not really functioning countries”.
“Good golly, what will Henry Kissinger say?” Ms Jenny said nervously. “Well, he’s been on the phone all morning to berate your lack of strategical ability and political know how, so I would not pick up the phone when he’s calling again”, the SOS said.