The Dating files: Dates gone wrong

[Ultimatum77]

You can technically eat a pizza, calzone, or fried chicken with a fork and knife lol....but why when God gave us fingers and hands to rip and shred them all while downing it all at the same time .....

 

[17Bees]

As a teen a friend introduced me to the fork n spoon. I just use a fork. my brother insists on a spoon and it doesn't usually end well. Well I suppose it does for the ants.

How about a straw? If you are one who wants to umm... savour the mealtime (lets face it, we live in a society where one of life's most important activities is too time constrained - plus its great family and bonding time going to waste when we rush meals right?)

I watched this dude once in a restaurant eating spaghetti and he stuffs this big load in his mouth and had a long noodle strand hanging so he sucks it up and it kind of flies all over like a fire hose and throws sauce everywhere and the girl he was with looked like she was in a slasher movie. She had sling strands of sauce all over her dress and even her face! I almost died. He was offering her napkins and stuff but..... nothing much worked. Not a real eharmony moment.

 

[Iamstuck]

I laughed so badly all through this thread. Life is silly..

 

[Roh_Chris]

This date I met .. She seemed nice so I asked her out to laser tag. Unfortunately the place was crowded so we had to wait for an hour to get to our turn. Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to get to know her, I ask her a few questions and boom! It turns into a melodramatic story-telling session.

Talk about an awkward first date..

 

[Chey60]

Eish LOL. I wonder how many Americans will understand "Eish"

Raises hand....sheepishly?

 

[Chey60]

So this isn't exactly a date..because it didn't get that far..
it was a guy who wanted to date me...he had seen me on facebook and called a mutual friend who gave him my number (?????!!!!) he was supposed to be a pastor and when he called me he immediately began talking about his vasectomy... randomly!.... describing it in detail....once he was finished with that ( I honestly don't remember what my reaction was since I was probably speechless by that time).. I heard the sound of echoing footsteps...and then flushing.. ..while he is just talking away..(mind you this is our first conversation ever).. then I hear typing..yes he is typing while we are talking and "Getting to know one another".... I finally found my words.. and asked him if he was emailing while we were on the phone and he says yes..
I had had it and said to him "you know this thing you are trying to get together with you and me"?" he says yes.. I say "not gonna happen" and we hung up..

sheesh

A long time ago a guy I was talking to from Christian mingle for our first conversation, gets drunk while talking to me.. admits he is drinking wine and gets more and more sloshed and drunken stupid while talking.. I just SMH and tell him I have to go and that he probably shouldn't get drunk on the phone and have a "meeting someone" conversation..

holy moly.. this was years ago and part of why I don't try to date.. I have several funny conversations like this in my trying to date years...

lol

 

[Chey60]

btw I called my friend and told her to never give my number out again without my permission lol

 

[Lenardzw]

Raises hand....sheepishly?

Bravo!

 

[Demi777]

ROFL you should make a talk show my friend..every time you open a thread surely theres a guarantee of rolling in laughter prepared

I just remembered the first time I started dating a certain someone and things didn't go according to plan. I had managed to persuade a lady I really liked to spend some time with me on a date. I had planned a simple dinner at a certain restaurant and then we'd take in a movie afterwards. So I picked her up and we visited this nice looking restaurant that I had never been to before (but which was recommended by a close friend). We sat down and placed our orders. She asked for something simple. I decided on ordering something with an exotic sounding name. What I didn't know was that this dish came with an enormous salad IN THE SAME PLATE. So when her meal came it was nicely plated and looked delightful. When mine finally showed up, it had so much green salad I felt somewhat like a goat. A couple of guys at the next table looked at me and began to giggle. I am sure she had a smirk on her face too from somewhere behind the salad on the other side of the table. I ended up calling the waiter to our table and gently told him that I'd left my goats at home so the salad was too large. He removed my plate and returned later with something that resembled a meal that was somewhat recognizable. Plus the salad was served separately.

A few minutes into our meal two ladies walked up to our table, greeted the lady and turned to me saying, "Shame on you! You are in the newspaper and already you have another lady! You sick man! I will never buy your music!" I was gobsmacked. Buy my music? I mean...I've heard myself sing and even I won't buy my music. The ladies turned to leave but I called out to them, "Wait wait wait! I'm confused.Who am I?" One of them named a certain local musician. Now I remembered that a trade union representative that I had dealings with, once told me that his wife had mistaken me for this same musician because I apparently bore some resemblance to this guy (yes he is not what one would describe as a "hunk"). I had go to great lengths to clear up the confusion and salvage what dignity I had left. I did this but only after producing my drivers licence for the ladies to inspect! They apologized profusely and left, but their antics had not gone unnoticed. Now I didn't know much about this musician so I got the waiters attention and motioned for him to come over. On inquiring about this guy I learnt that he had been accused of sexually assaulting a young lady and it had made the tabloids. Eish! talk about looking like the wrong guy! Needless to say the rest of the evening was bathed soft music and awkwardness.

Any embarrassing dates to share?

 

[Lenardzw]

So this isn't exactly a date..because it didn't get that far..
it was a guy who wanted to date me...he had seen me on facebook and called a mutual friend who gave him my number (?????!!!!) he was supposed to be a pastor and when he called me he immediately began talking about his vasectomy... randomly!.... describing it in detail....once he was finished with that ( I honestly don't remember what my reaction was since I was probably speechless by that time).. I heard the sound of echoing footsteps...and then flushing.. ..while he is just talking away..(mind you this is our first conversation ever).. then I hear typing..yes he is typing while we are talking and "Getting to know one another".... I finally found my words.. and asked him if he was emailing while we were on the phone and he says yes..
I had had it and said to him "you know this thing you are trying to get together with you and me"?" he says yes.. I say "not gonna happen" and we hung up..

Okay....pastor or not, this guy was weird. I mean... any conversation starting with "vasectomy" better have a physician on the other end of the line. Also "fire n brimstone" would be awaiting any of my friends if they handed my number out without contacting me. And emailing while talking?

A long time ago a guy I was talking to from Christian mingle for our first conversation, gets drunk while talking to me.. admits he is drinking wine and gets more and more sloshed and drunken stupid while talking.. I just SMH and tell him I have to go and that he probably shouldn't get drunk on the phone and have a "meeting someone" conversation..

holy moly.. this was years ago and part of why I don't try to date.. I have several funny conversations like this in my trying to date years...

lol

Okay this was one foolish fellow. "Drinking your way into a great first impression and (hopefully) into ones heart" shouldn't even be used as a slur, let alone someone actually attempt it. BTW....SMH?

 

[Chey60]

Okay....pastor or not, this guy was weird. I mean... any conversation starting with "vasectomy" better have a physician on the other end of the line. Also "fire n brimstone" would be awaiting any of my friends if they handed my number out without contacting me. And emailing while talking?


I Know right?!!! I mean seriously!!! she heard it believe me and she heard what her friend said to me and she almost died laughing.. I Didn't find it funny at the time.. by this time I Was exasperated at the dating scene lol



Okay this was one foolish fellow. "Drinking your way into a great first impression and (hopefully) into ones heart" shouldn't even be used as a slur, let alone someone actually attempt it. BTW....SMH?

See?so yea this is how it usually went with me lol I just gave up at that time on thinking there could be someone left out there unmarried for me.....that was a normal guy much less a true christ follower lol but it sure makes for GREAT stories!

 

[Chey60]

This date I met .. She seemed nice so I asked her out to laser tag. Unfortunately the place was crowded so we had to wait for an hour to get to our turn. Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to get to know her, I ask her a few questions and boom! It turns into a melodramatic story-telling session.

Talk about an awkward first date..

you had an encounter with an oversharer lol I have actually been an oversharer before... you live and learn !! lol