The matchmaking thread
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There is one thing I WILL never settle for and that is a man who "might" be alright with the fact I have kids. You either realize how lucky you are to get a chance to be in their lives or a man need not even bother ringing my bell.
I
I felt exactaly the same way once when I was younger...then I happened to meet a girl I really liked who had a kid & we even dated for a brief time. I didn't try to be the kids Dad,I was just I dunno..loving to her & helped her Mom out because I loved her Mom. I was actually ok with it..but then again,I never wanted kids at all..so I wasn't bothered if she didn't want to have one with me. It's good that you stand by what you believe & would let a girl know that up front is good,even if she doesn't want to hear it...it's always better to be honest.
Maybe
But I can say from what I have seen with my own eyes. Guy jumping in relationship with a woman with kids already. most of the time it don't last. kids drive a wedge in the relationship. And with so many women these days having 2 or 3 kids before they are 22/23 and not wanting anymore. people like me who are 31 and may want one of our own end up with the short end of the stick.
needless to say. my chances of having a relationship kids ect ect. ended a decade ago.
Dont get me wrong not saying her kids are bad or anything.
But in the overall scheme of things chances of me getting involved with a female with kids already is very low. way to much bad that can happen. im not going to invest time in a relationship just to have a kid thats not mine ruin it.
But I can say from what I have seen with my own eyes. Guy jumping in relationship with a woman with kids already. most of the time it don't last. kids drive a wedge in the relationship. And with so many women these days having 2 or 3 kids before they are 22/23 and not wanting anymore. people like me who are 31 and may want one of our own end up with the short end of the stick.
needless to say. my chances of having a relationship kids ect ect. ended a decade ago.
Dont get me wrong not saying her kids are bad or anything.
But in the overall scheme of things chances of me getting involved with a female with kids already is very low. way to much bad that can happen. im not going to invest time in a relationship just to have a kid thats not mine ruin it.
Part of me wants one. other part of me says I wouldnt be able to deal with kids.
see I myself for so long has had only myself. I spend my days alone have for a very long time. I have gotten to a point I just do not deal with people well at all anymore. even people I like to be around get on my nerves pretty quick. So with that just me and a female would be rough now toss on 1 or 2 or 3 kids thats not mine on top of that. now were heading down a unknown and possibly explosive situation. granted they all could be great and i could deal with them all just fine. (maybe they via instinct know don't go poking this guy don't kick the hornests nest. don't toss rocks at the bear) But maybe all they do is pester pester pester toss those rocks keep kicking the nest. well. then its not going to end to well.
When dealing with me. you have to look at it like you are dealing with someone who has been in solitary for a decade plus. get on my nerves and ill tell you off pretty quick. sure im a nice guy but its really how you approach. if I view you as annoying well im not going to be very nice.
see I myself for so long has had only myself. I spend my days alone have for a very long time. I have gotten to a point I just do not deal with people well at all anymore. even people I like to be around get on my nerves pretty quick. So with that just me and a female would be rough now toss on 1 or 2 or 3 kids thats not mine on top of that. now were heading down a unknown and possibly explosive situation. granted they all could be great and i could deal with them all just fine. (maybe they via instinct know don't go poking this guy don't kick the hornests nest. don't toss rocks at the bear) But maybe all they do is pester pester pester toss those rocks keep kicking the nest. well. then its not going to end to well.
When dealing with me. you have to look at it like you are dealing with someone who has been in solitary for a decade plus. get on my nerves and ill tell you off pretty quick. sure im a nice guy but its really how you approach. if I view you as annoying well im not going to be very nice.
C
Wise, I understand how you feel. I've seen the things you talked about happen with people I know. The woman would choose her teenage son over the man she married when all the teenage son did was get in trouble. I can't tell any man what our relationship will be like after marriage. I would hope for both our sakes that we wouldn't get married without a lot of prayer and time. The man would need to be around my kids to see if it would work. Its only fair to all parties involved.
As to the having kids, I am content with the two God blessed me with but if I was to get married to someone who wanted a kid and we agreed on it, then physically it is still possible.
Thank you for the reminder that it isn't just my kids and myself who will be making changes but that it affects any man I am blessed with in my life.
As to the having kids, I am content with the two God blessed me with but if I was to get married to someone who wanted a kid and we agreed on it, then physically it is still possible.
Thank you for the reminder that it isn't just my kids and myself who will be making changes but that it affects any man I am blessed with in my life.
C
I must say it is a good thing I have better luck with men in real, because I sure don't on CC.lol
The awkward moment when.... you get pawned off seven times in a 24 hour period.
Yes, here I am bragging about it.
1. Descyple
2. Zero
3. GRA
4. MidniteWelder
5. Tintin
6. Seatbelt
7. Wisebeardman
Disclaimer: I would like to point out that at no time was I involved in the matchmaking of myself
with anyone.
The awkward moment when.... you get pawned off seven times in a 24 hour period.
Yes, here I am bragging about it.
1. Descyple
2. Zero
3. GRA
4. MidniteWelder
5. Tintin
6. Seatbelt
7. Wisebeardman
Disclaimer: I would like to point out that at no time was I involved in the matchmaking of myself
with anyone.