What IF someone you don't like, for obvious reasons, needs forgiven?

[GreenNnice]

Let's set this up....

Rejoice, rejoice, and, again, I say, rejoice...

...for you have got her, a girl, she really LIKES you, you, YOU ! God's blessed you one step from.marriage ! Hoo-ya!

And, so, ooh, yeah, it's ALL GOOD between you and her, except there is this minor serious thing that happened, involving a 'him!' Or, a 'her!

Whatcha gonna do about 'him,' you're gonna have to do without him or do with out me, me, me, OH, sorry, little Rupert Holmes song lyrics flew into my green brains, but, YEAH, where was I? that person that had the power to destroy your relationship, TRIED.

This person does not like your BF (your boyfriend) or GF , so....tbey go behind your back to your fiance' ,YEAH, I KNOW, YOU TELL ME!, that was rude of that person to tell your engaged one, 'This person you love is so not like you, so different, they yelled at me one time when you weren't there and...'

You: I can't believe they said that ! Trying to break us up. !

ok, ya git the picture.

But, more good news ! Again,I say 'Rejoice!' Your BF , or, GF, didn't side with their BFF , that's 'best friend forever,' and, YEAH, so what's uh guy (or girl) to do?

How do you handle this kind of situation?

 

[Perk]

To be honest... Sadly the fourth I need prayer and work on this aspect of my life. There is a woman at work who is one of the most unhappy people I've met. She is always making my work day harder, and while I have forgiven her in my heart, I won't confront her about the issue. Maybe I should or shouldn't. It is tough, but I repress the annoyance I have with her and just try to be nice.

 

[GreenNnice]

To be honest... Sadly the fourth I need prayer and work on this aspect of my life. There is a woman at work who is one of the most unhappy people I've met. She is always making my work day harder, and while I have forgiven her in my heart, I won't confront her about the issue. Maybe I should or shouldn't. It is tough, but I repress the annoyance I have with her and just try to be nice.

That's OK, perkvine, the Lord leads, you just keep on following Him John 21:22 "..you follow Me."
_______________

She is your boss?

Cohort?

What does she do that makes her one of the most unhappy people you have met?

That is good you have forgiven her in your heart

 

[kenisyes]

Let me make sure I have it right. Best friend, behind your back, attempted to talk your fiancee out of wanting to marry you?

This is actually against the law in certain states, once you are married. It is a tort called "alienation of affection", and you can sue people for it.

You need to forgive him (Jesus says), and you need to confront him (Jesus says this about any "brother", and this is your best friend). If he really believes such things about you, and will not repent, you don't have to keep him as a best friend, of course.

 

[GreenNnice]

Let me make sure I have it right. Best friend, behind your back, attempted to talk your fiancee out of wanting to marry you?

This is actually against the law in certain states, once you are married. It is a tort called "alienation of affection", and you can sue people for it.

You need to forgive him (Jesus says), and you need to confront him (Jesus says this about any "brother", and this is your best friend). If he really believes such things about you, and will not repent, you don't have to keep him as a best friend, of course.

Good good, helping the thread unravel s'more . Suh-weeeet

thx, kenny,
============()============


Right, best friend of fiance' talks behind your back bad of YOU, you find out from your fiance' that his/her best friend this 'news.'

Interesting law if are married and a best friend of one of marrieds bad talks like you said.

God says to forgive others if you have a beef with them so might as well let it go, the Lord leads, 'Follow Me.'

Two votes so far, both would what I call 'repression,,' there IS a reason that it's one letter off from depression, so..... the Lord leads, but , I think, that talking to them with pure forgiveness given them, as He spiritedly leads.

We all make mixtakes, we should forgive them because Scripture says we should, the Lord's prayer no less.

Jesus telling His disciples how they should pray, we are in Matt. 5 .

Our Father in Heaven.
Hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,
and, lead us not into temptation.

And, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

For Thine is the kingdom, and, the power, and, the glory, forever. Amen.
============()==============
Forgiving debts is a little different than forgiving people, but....how many times did Jesus say to forgive someone who has talked behind your back , or, putting it generally, we are to forgive someone(s)) who wronged you?

70x7 times. Jesus said that

 

[Jullianna]

I don't normally have a problem forgiving someone for wronging me once, especially if they are truly sorry, it was not intentional and/or they don't repeat it. But, when the behavior is repetitive and they clearly don't care that they are doing it, I normally just pray for them and cut them loose.

 

[Liamson]

GreenNnice, I forgive you for giving us terrible nicknames.

I forgive you for writing like Gollum.

But only on the Condition that you can forgive me for my judgement.

You have a good, kind, soft heart and the substance of your words far exceed the sentences which convey that expression. You have been here and reminded me so much of the steadfast commands that Christ has given to us. I thank you very much for that.

 

[Kefa52]

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?
I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.
The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)
　
How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?
We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

For me....I forgave my abusers and took back control of my life. As long as I stayed angry with them I gave them emotional control.
Jesus commands us to forgive many times in scripture. When we don't forgive it is a sin, and it hampers our walk with Jesus.

This would be my choise. But don't expect the offender to accept it.....Forgive him/her and tell them about God's 'forgiveness' given us by blotting out our sins by Jesus' shed blood?

 

[error]

Ah, not my fav topic.

 

[GreenNnice]

I don't normally have a problem forgiving someone for wronging me once, especially if they are truly sorry, it was not intentional and/or they don't repeat it. But, when the behavior is repetitive and they clearly don't care that they are doing it, I normally just pray for them and cut them loose.

Don't cut them loose, julieannie, without forgiving them, is what would be best, we should not worry of our powerlessness in that situation, because, God has all the power needed and His strength is perfected in our weakness, Or, weaknesses, it's OK to be afraid of asking for or granting someone forgiveness, for whatever our reasons, the Lord gives great grace, we are to follow Him, that way is perfect

GreenNnice, I forgive you for giving us terrible nicknames.

I forgive you for writing like Gollum.

But only on the Condition that you can forgive me for my judgement.

You have a good, kind, soft heart and the substance of your words far exceed the sentences which convey that expression. You have been here and reminded me so much of the steadfast commands that Christ has given to us. I thank you very much for that.

Gollum only, yes, liamsON, that is true, in the one thread I wrote a bit like that, didn't I, but, Yes, the Lord leads, and, I thank God that I am most often able to be like the other 'half' of Gollum in so being led in life. LOL, yeah, nicknames, everyone, indeed, should know my heart, my nice to all miladies and notmydudes are an expression of love, that's all , the Lord leads

Thanks for the kind words, liamsON, and, yes, liam, when you are on c.c. your words now speak of God and psychology together, bringing glory to Him and blessing to you, many untold still, as your adventure from Him unfolds

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?
I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to forgive.
The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)
　
How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart?
We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

For me....I forgave my abusers and took back control of my life. As long as I stayed angry with them I gave them emotional control.
Jesus commands us to forgive many times in scripture. When we don't forgive it is a sin, and it hampers our walk with Jesus.

This would be my choise. But don't expect the offender to accept it.....Forgive him/her and tell them about God's 'forgiveness' given us by blotting out our sins by Jesus' shed blood?

Awesome, Kef, the Lord's power will work the power of forgiveness, through and through, over all, He is all and all and by His created power all things are made, all us 'things,' too, and, all things are possible through God. Ask for His power to heal emotional scars of a wronging, wringing act that squeezed life out of you, for He is the Life and you will be soo inexplicably blessed, now and forever, for releasing the power of what is holding you from giving someone forgiveness, the loosing of bonds and freeing of your life was done at the cross by His Grace, He will greatly lead you by His timing, no guilt, no shame, all THROUGH your life where to go

 

[GreenNnice]

Ah, not my fav topic.

It's OK, errorless, the Lord leads. You put your posts where you are led, milady You will know just where to go

 

[isaria]

I don't normally have a problem forgiving someone for wronging me once, especially if they are truly sorry, it was not intentional and/or they don't repeat it. But, when the behavior is repetitive and they clearly don't care that they are doing it, I normally just pray for them and cut them loose.

Agree with you.
Forgiving someone who is truly sorry.
But when the behaviour is intentional, calculated,very very bad and illegal, planned, malicious with no remourse , care or repent and year after year of disrespect and unacceptable behaviour then its better to remove them from thy self.

Specially when they bad to and for you, endager you, always hurt and destroy for you , conciously.
Problem can be how to remove them.
Professional help and or court order to remove them.
restrainingorder stylin.
Im currently trying to get this.

 

[GreenNnice]

Agree with you.
Forgiving someone who is truly sorry.
But when the behaviour is intentional, calculated,very very bad and illegal, planned, malicious with no remourse , care or repent and year after year of disrespect and unacceptable behaviour then its better to remove them from thy self.

Specially when they bad to and for you, endager you, always hurt and destroy for you , conciously.
Problem can be how to remove them.
Professional help and or court order to remove them.
restrainingorder stylin.
Im currently trying to get this.

Pray for the blood of Christ protection if anxiety over someone who hurts you, tries to destroy you.
The Lord leads, He provides answers to all our questions. Be with Him, be protected, ask for His hand over you, He will keep you in the shadow of His wings , isar

Still, too, that all said, there is something beautiful, something good, something from some One , which will do so much good for you when you accept His will for your life, which, in His time, He wants us to forgive too. That something is 'love,' God gives us a greater understanding of love when we forgive those who wronged us , the peace is sooo speaking, even words that peel away things that were embittered in our heart.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Let's set this up....

Rejoice, rejoice, and, again, I say, rejoice...

...for you have got her, a girl, she really LIKES you, you, YOU ! God's blessed you one step from.marriage ! Hoo-ya!

And, so, ooh, yeah, it's ALL GOOD between you and her, except there is this minor serious thing that happened, involving a 'him!' Or, a 'her!

Whatcha gonna do about 'him,' you're gonna have to do without him or do with out me, me, me, OH, sorry, little Rupert Holmes song lyrics flew into my green brains, but, YEAH, where was I? that person that had the power to destroy your relationship, TRIED.

This person does not like your BF (your boyfriend) or GF , so....tbey go behind your back to your fiance' ,YEAH, I KNOW, YOU TELL ME!, that was rude of that person to tell your engaged one, 'This person you love is so not like you, so different, they yelled at me one time when you weren't there and...'

You: I can't believe they said that ! Trying to break us up. !

ok, ya git the picture.

But, more good news ! Again,I say 'Rejoice!' Your BF , or, GF, didn't side with their BFF , that's 'best friend forever,' and, YEAH, so what's uh guy (or girl) to do?

How do you handle this kind of situation?

I think the answer lies in this scripture:

2 Corinthians 12:7-9
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

[progressivenerdgirl]

Let me make sure I have it right. Best friend, behind your back, attempted to talk your fiancee out of wanting to marry you?

This is actually against the law in certain states, once you are married. It is a tort called "alienation of affection", and you can sue people for it.

I would lose respect for anyone who used such an idiotic law. No one has an obligation to feel affection from you, or to do (or refrain from doing) anything to preserve that affection. No one, anywhere, at any time, has a right to subjective mental states of their own, much less those of others. God will judge your heart, the magistrate can go hang.

Evil, evil government.

I am not saying you ought to go around trying to dissuade people from getting married, but to treat it as though you have some right to deprive them of their property or liberty because they said something to someone you disagreed with is to indulge despotism for vengeance.

 

[GreenNnice]

I think the answer lies in this scripture:

2 Corinthians 12:7-9
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Testing, zereturbbuddy, either God orchestrated on His own, or,can use an instrument if whoever, yes, even Satan allowed, like was Job, to test us, but, make no mistake, the testing, for we in Him is good for us to persevere, like James 1:2-3 state.
And, certainlyx, forgiveness was never a question, God wants us to forgive, His timing, He leads us, we are, ultimately, to follow Him in doing all things of our life, for He knows the plans for us which are revealed when we seek Him with all our heart as Jer. 29:13 states.

I would lose respect for anyone who used such an idiotic law. No one has an obligation to feel affection from you, or to do (or refrain from doing) anything to preserve that affection. No one, anywhere, at any time, has a right to subjective mental states of their own, much less those of others. God will judge your heart, the magistrate can go hang.

Evil, evil government.

I am not saying you ought to go around trying to dissuade people from getting married, but to treat it as though you have some right to deprive them of their property or liberty because they said something to someone you disagreed with is to indulge despotism for vengeance.

It's scary, one more step toward a policed state, which, with RFID, etc. that is the way technology is sorely moving society. Good thing God is over all . He wins, by His means, in the end.

 

[StephenH]

It really depends on the person. I've told a few friends that I've had that have betrayed me I forgive them, and it's definitely better than holding it in. It gives you a sense of completeness and fulfillment that simply holding it in doesn't provide.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Most of the people i have forgiven i don't like. It really doesn't matter if i like the person or not. Forgiveness is mandatory.

 

[keep_on_smiling]

Regardless of the situation , NodMyHEadLikeYeah is right. Forgiveness is mandatory. From a recent situation, I personally forgave someone I truly don't like and not only was it good for them, but I felt an incredible peace and a feeling of relief washed over me.

Not forgiving someone often hurts you more than the other person.

Matthew 6:14-15
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

[Tearose84]

My best friend completely betrayed me over and over. It took several months of asking God to help me forgive her. I prayed and prayed..every time I thought of her (which was often at first). I eventually forgave her in my heart. But I do not have anything to do with her now that I am so aware of how she is. I will never be able to trust her. I don't believe forgiving someone means you have to buddy up to them again if they are not going to change their ways.